thatunknownguy Posted April 25, 2013 Share Posted April 25, 2013 Hello to everyone, and I'd like to thank you in advance. I came here often many years ago (maybe six or seven), but hadn't ever posted because I haven't really needed advice other than what I've read here to help me through some past situations. To try to keep a long story short, my wife and her sister decide to break contact with their father and his family a long time ago due to abuses and manipulative treatment they experienced from childhood through their adult years. He knew it and left them alone for a while. However, with her sister having children and us getting married, he has now been trying to contact them over the past year or a little longer. They've ignored phone calls and emails and even facebook contact, but now that they've done that, he's gone as far as contacting the two husbands, sending emails to my wife's work general email, and posting on my wife's work facebook page. She blocks him each time, but he will open a throwaway account to post each time, so she can't always keep him blocked. The messages are usually just to the tune of he needs her to contact him, he's her father and there's been a family emergency and she won't return his calls. Usually her coworkers get worried and alert her that she needs to contact him because they don't know the history. At the beginning, we thought if everything was ignored, he would just give up. However, this hasn't seemed to work and she's obviously doesn't want a private matter to keep on being public. We've thought of a number of options, including the husbands sending a letter each without our wives' names attached so it's not like he got contact from them directly, to going to a lawyer to draft a no-contact no more harassment type letter, to just hope to keep controlling everything (luckily my wife is an administrator for the FB page along with a couple of co-workers, so she can usually get to it fast) and ignoring him and hope he fades away with time. What suggestions does the community have for us? P.S. We are in different parts of IL, with the father living in TN or FL possibly. Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet Storm Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I would suggest that your wife and sister contact him directly and tell him that he is no longer welcome in their lives and to please stop attempting to contact them. He needs to hear it directly from them. He is contacting work and husbands because he is not getting a response from them. They need to be direct with him first, and if he doesn't respect their wishes, then send a cease & desist lawyer letter. He may genuinely want to make amends with them. By just ignoring them, he may think they are not getting the messages. If he is dying of cancer and wants to apologize, he may feel desperate and that is the reason for the continued contact. There is nothing wrong with cutting toxic people out of your life, but he may need a clear "no contact" letter in order to get the message. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChubbyPanda Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I'm not sure if i help but i think maybe contact him? and if u dont want to then you could leave him a message not to contact u no more although i dont know nothing i just hope i dont offend anyone and thats all i can think of im sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts