She's playing a dangerous game.

[Mrlonelyone]

Were I a less experienced person I would be worried more.

 

I would be less worried if the others in this game were as experienced.

 

Here is the deal. This regards a woman I have written of as M. She and I are apparently secret lovers. On a trip to a conference we got to know each other much better.

 

The thing is M has a ... IDK if boyfriend is the best word for him. He's her main man but it's casual.

 

Just tonite she orchestrated a social situation where I met many of her friends and he showed up. I don't know if he was invited but he found out!

 

I knew enough to back off and enjoy the situation. After all , if anything, I am the one being cheated with not cheated on.

 

This all explains quite well what went on a week or so ago.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/388814-avoiding-me-now

 

 

I'm not a "boyfriend". I'm the other man.

[ForeverHopeful1]

Walk away.

[Mrlonelyone]

Walk away.

 

A simple solution to a simple problem. What strikes me is that he seems to know nothing of how she and I relate good or bad. If I was a woman's BF and knew of what goes on here ... my god... I don't know what I would do.

[sweetkiwi]

Some people have extreme trust in their partners, or blind themselves to that possibility as a way of protecting one's self.

 

Personally sweetheart I know you can do better than this. And I hope you want that too. You know what you should do and what you want to do.

 

Good luck XxxxX

[clia]

I feel like your posts about M are so cryptic, that it always leaves me with this feeling that you are reading a lot more into the relationship than is actually there. I think it may just be how you word things...i.e. that she "orchestrated a social situation where [you] met many of her friends." So, was it something along the lines of "Hey, a bunch of us are going out for pizza, want to come with us?"

 

So she has been cheating on this "main man" (what does that mean?) with you? My guess is that he found out about the social situation because she or one of her friends invited him to come. How did you find out he was her "main man"? How did she act toward you when he was around? Was she uncomfortable?

 

Have you kissed her or had sex with her?

[xxoo]

A simple solution to a simple problem. What strikes me is that he seems to know nothing of how she and I relate good or bad. If I was a woman's BF and knew of what goes on here ... my god... I don't know what I would do.

 

I agree with clia that all your posts are so cryptic that it seems like you may be simply reading too much into close friendship.

 

On the other hand, if you are getting romantic with her, consider that she may have other "other lovers", too. If, as you state above, you wouldn't want to be in the shoes of cheated on, it is probably best not to get involved with someone who engages in cheating as a "game".

[Jbum5]

Assuming that she's in a relationship, you're advocating that she's playing a dangerous game. Then you proceed to unveil that you are [at least cryptographically] one of the participants, which means you are also playing the same dangerous game. Yield and bow out now.

Edited April 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Mrlonelyone]

I feel like your posts about M are so cryptic, that it always leaves me with this feeling that you are reading a lot more into the relationship than is actually there. I think it may just be how you word things...i.e. that she "orchestrated a social situation where [you] met many of her friends." So, was it something along the lines of "Hey, a bunch of us are going out for pizza, want to come with us?"

 

No. It was a social gathering targeted at other students in our department located in a place where she and I have spent most of our time. A place with restricted access to the room. A place where I have spent most of my time at this UNI. A place where I could reasonably be expected. The gathering was to do something she and I had discussed for months.

 

No invite required as I am a fixture in this place.

 

My post about M are cryptic because in the past people have wanted to chase down who I am and expose me... only to find out I was telling the absolute truth.

 

So, for privacy reasons, I will be cryptic.

 

So she has been cheating on this "main man" (what does that mean?) with you?

 

I don't know what it means. Clearly he is her main squeeze, her "boyfriend" weather they call eachother that or not. I don't ask about the innards of their relationship as it isn't my business.

 

 

 

My guess is that he found out about the social situation because she or one of her friends invited him to come. How did you find out he was her "main man"? How did she act toward you when he was around? Was she uncomfortable?

 

 

I am not sure he was invited. He probably heard about it and decided to show up. He wanted to "catch" her perhaps? As I said I don't ask about such things as they aren't my concern.

 

She sat with him but was constantly sneaking glaces and furtive smiles back at me alternated with kissing him. As if to reassure him.

 

Have you kissed her or had sex with her?

 

If you read the threads in which I refer to her you will see the whole context. Give me some credit. Would I waste time on this if there wasn't more than friendliness to this situation?

 

XXOO trust there is more than friendliness here. I am a gentleman and so do not feel carnal details are required weather we have or have not. Just trust at my age I have not time to waste.

[Mrlonelyone]

Assuming that she's in a relationship, you're advocating that she's playing a dangerous game. Then you proceed to unveil that you are [at least cryptographically] one of the participants, which means you are also playing the same dangerous game. Yield and bow out now

 

 

Yield, If she were married or engaged or even serious about this guy I would. I have done that twice this year.

 

Once was a young woman who hangs on my every word...but lives with her boyfriend and his parents. Like they are family already.

 

The other was a married woman.

 

 

M has introduced me to her family, and agreed to meet mine at a date in the near future. I don't think her "main man" has done that. he is a fun time boy, I am a grown adult who even in a "pink" (but actually charcoal blue trac suit) am so manly "main man" says nothing to me.

 

Plus trust we are more than friendly.

 

This last dangerous game had the effect of her friends meeting me for themselves live and in person. Seeing that I am not some inhuman perv...just a regular person not unlike them.

 

Everything happens for a reason. Fun guy could just be a stop on her road to me. She could be a detour on my road to someone better (Though the way so many thing line up for us...it is hard to think of anything better.)

Edited April 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Mrlonelyone]

Right now I am in a casual relationship with a woman who is in a casual relationship with another man too. Odds are he has something else going on, and even I have other remote possibilities.

 

The truth is though, I can see a future with M. If I had a list of the qualities of the woman for me she ticks off all of them even though she is not perfect I feel that way.

 

 

 

In a strange way this makes what was shaping up to be a too good to be true situation for me more realistic.

Edited April 27, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[kevintech]

M has introduced me to her family, and agreed to meet mine at a date in the near future. I don't think her "main man" has done that. he is a fun time boy, I am a grown adult who even in a "pink" (but actually charcoal blue trac suit) am so manly "main man" says nothing to me.

 

Plus trust we are more than friendly.

 

She will meet another man who is even manlier in a more NEON pink outfit. And you're done, son.

[Mrlonelyone]

She will meet another man who is even manlier in a more NEON pink outfit. And you're done, son.

 

Perhaps. Afterall

 

Pink Wasn?t Always Considered a Feminine Color and Blue Wasn?t Always Masculine