A Lying Friend?

[Guest]

I was just curious. Off line it's easy to tell when a person is lying to you. But online how can you tell if a friend is lying to you, or possibly doesn't want to be friends with you any more? There's a long story that goes with this, but I'll just leave it at this. These are examples though: 1. I tell her when I come on line...she'll say if she can come on line she'll e-mail me or let me know. Then she never does so I feel in a weird way stood up when I've come on and waited for her. 2. She goes off line right when I come on line. There's also certain things in conversations and when I ask her directly about certain issues I just feel like she is just never is honest with me. So if any one could help. Thank you in advanced

[whichwayisup]

Guest. Be honest, straight forward and come right out and ask her those things.

Why do you leave when I come online? Why is it when I want you to come talk to me you don't? Etc....Ask her all these things...You both were friends at one time so there is no reason to hide how you feel. Right now you have nothing to lose!!!

 

She may be hinting because she doesn't have the nerve to say to you give me some space or I'm not into the online thing with you anymore.

 

How long were you both friends? Was it serious, as in feelings etc??? Maybe she's abit freaked about what she feels about you??

 

With some people it's easy to lie, stupid because there is no point in that, especially online!! I find with me, I say whatever comes into my head at that particular moment, I don't hold back ever!! Infact sometimes it's easier because you're not face to face, getting reactions....Much more comfortable to really open up and not worry how the other person might feel seeing how nervous you're feeling!!! Does this make any sense ?!

 

Good luck and post back!!!

[Guest]

Thanks for your reply. We've been friends for about five years. A month or so ago I thought she was trying too much to be like me and it was getting rather weird for me. I've never been through something like that before. So I broke up the friendship with her. Saying I didn't want to be friends. After a good long break. And we both decided later we could pick up the friendship and start all over, I did that realizing it might have been a mistake, but the break was probably best. Well she hooked back up with this friend of her's who had dumped her, she went and talked things out with her. Well when she's with this friend I seemed to always take the back burner, her friend just stopped talking to her one day and at least I was well nice enough to write a letter about letting our frienship go or rather taking a long break from each other. So I never understood that. I did find out she got back together with that friend when I had left. She was closer to this friend, I know that for sure, than she ever was with me. So it's like she just needed someone. Even if she was treated badly. She is a few years younger than I am. Plus, still has a lot of growing up to do and life experience. But now that she's constantly standing me up now. Not online very much, but I find out she still is talking to her other friends online. It's like high school crap and I hate it and don't want to deal with this type of stuff. I was thinking about giving it a while to see how things went. See I don't have very many friends especially online. But at this point even though it'll be hard. It's stupid that she would lie about petty stuff or not exactly tell me the truth. I realize that I hurt her by ending the friendship and could have ruined everything. I don't regret taking the long break though. I was always honest though with her and always said the truth. Now it feels worse and distant and I feel like I'm getting treated badly just by being ingored. This relationship is strange, because like my other frienships I feel like I'm always giving 90%. To where I think frienships need to give 50/50. And when I talk to her it's like pulling teeth again. So that's the short run of how things are going. I'm just wondering now if it was too soon to become friends with her again. Or should I give her another long while and wait to see how things go before I have another talk with her. Which is what I'm doing currently. And if this is a friendship that's just dying out. That's a little short history.

[DJ_Dork]

go with your gut feeling. why go through the stress of putting up with a weirdo?

[Guest]

Thanks for your reply. I wouldn't say she's a weirdo at all. She's I think too needy and she can't stand on her own two feet. Otherwise she can be a nice person, and she's fun to be with from time to time. However, maybe I'm just thinking we are going in different directions and perhaps just anything she'll turn into another acquaintance. Which is what it's seeming to be like now. And I'm pretty sure I'll be okay on that. If I still think she might be lying to me I will be direct with her on it though there's no reason for that and for not wanting to talk to me. But other wise I think she'll just be a passing friend if that makes sense. But thanks for all your responses. Good food for thought. It's also just weird when you've been friends with someone for so long you drift apart and aren't close any more. Or you maybe find out you never really were.