brokenhearted3 Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 my ex who i thought was the love of my life is pregnant with the rebound guy's baby. i'm devastated. I saw a similar post last year by user's lovelost24 and spicolli, but i could not comment on that thread because it was over 60 days old. They went through the same thing, if you guys are on here would love to get some advice on what to do or anyone else too. This is the most horrible feeling, please help with advice. One word answers of "move on" dont really help at all. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
cavalier99 Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 (edited) Sorry man that is rough. Not sure what to say. I actually hope my ex gets pregnant and married but then again im indifferent. Then again this is how I viewed her since day 1 after the BU to try to totally tell myself she is gone forever. stay strong at least now you dont need to worry about her coming back and all hope of reconciliation has been killed! In fact this is GREAT for you recovery. Rock on! Cav Edited April 26, 2013 by cavalier99 1 Link to post Share on other sites
McGriff Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 That's terrible...and I'm sure your world is ROCKED all over again. That's pretty much everyone's worst case scenario. I know you said you dont want to hear it, but all you can do is "move on". I know those words ring hollow when you are completely down in the dumps. I would say you need to lean pretty hard on family and friends in the next few weeks/months. Get out as much as possible and do things. At this point, you have to care of yourself. She now has an 18 year investment with this guy, and you have to step away. Again, I'm sorry for what you are going through. Link to post Share on other sites
AKisBaked Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 That's got to suck when you heard the news about that.. Sorry that your going through a rough time bud its devastating to hear about someone you really cared about and thought that you 2 had a future together and THIS happens... It's not something pleasant you want to hear.. Your only option at this point is to walk away from all this drama. Her being pregnant is her problem now and also that guys problem. (obviously im sure you would loved to have her kids) but think of it this way, her getting pregnant and all just reflects who she is.. She is willing to drop you soon after you guys break up and then get on a rebound and get knocked up? I'd say you just dodged a bullet. Plus how do you know if she even really wanted a kid? Maybe she didn't, and it just "HAPPENED" they all say.... Dont think about her anymore. She is an ex for a reason im pretty sure you can find someone better than her. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 26, 2013 Share Posted April 26, 2013 Yep, I agree. I think you dodged a bullet, and if this guy is a rebound, she's now tied to him for the rest of her life in one way or another. And, of course, we all know that rebounds aren't typically the most ideal relationships that go the long haul. I have a feeling that this pregnancy was definitely not planned. I know you don't want to hear, "just move on", but I think you don't have a choice in the matter. Start making positive changes in your life and enjoy the world and the people in it. Have adventures. Go places, see new things. Remember, you're not the one tied down now. You're free to do what you want, go where you want. And who knows, you just may meet someone along the way that will totally rock your world. You have to look at it as you are just one more heartbreak away from the person you are TRUELY meant to be with. But, you're never going to find her until you go out into the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhearted3 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 Yep, I agree. I think you dodged a bullet, and if this guy is a rebound, she's now tied to him for the rest of her life in one way or another. And, of course, we all know that rebounds aren't typically the most ideal relationships that go the long haul. I have a feeling that this pregnancy was definitely not planned. I know you don't want to hear, "just move on", but I think you don't have a choice in the matter. Start making positive changes in your life and enjoy the world and the people in it. Have adventures. Go places, see new things. Remember, you're not the one tied down now. You're free to do what you want, go where you want. And who knows, you just may meet someone along the way that will totally rock your world. You have to look at it as you are just one more heartbreak away from the person you are TRUELY meant to be with. But, you're never going to find her until you go out into the world. thanks for the response guys. i'm not sure how to deal with this though. i know i'm supposed to take care of me and all that stuff. but it still doesnt make sense. how can she possibly be ok with this ? seems like some of her friends are even thinking she is crazy for doing this. makes zero sense Link to post Share on other sites
Author brokenhearted3 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 would love to hear some more advice esp if anyone has gone through something like this. i'd love to know if there is any chance she will at least try to reach out to me. i'm definetly not reaching out to her Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 would love to hear some more advice esp if anyone has gone through something like this. i'd love to know if there is any chance she will at least try to reach out to me. i'm definetly not reaching out to her Why do you think she would 'reach out to you'? In what way? What do you think she would say? You're obviously hoping she will... Your post reads - "I want her to need me, and realise her error and want me to make it all better again for her. I want her to feel she has made a huge mistake and that only I can put it right for her. But I'm damned if I will, because I want her to suffer rejection and pain, and I want to be the one to give it to her." Damn dude, no way to move on and heal.... Link to post Share on other sites
GudDude2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 If she said, "Hey, it just happened. I don't love this guy, I still love you! Can we work it out, but by the way, i'm keeping the baby!" Then what? How much do you really love this girl? You think about it and let us all know. Link to post Share on other sites
Thunderchild Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I hate to inject an air of cynicism into this - but, do you know if she was having unprotected sex with him before you split up. If you suspect that she was, then get yourself checked out for STD's. She got knocked up by her rebound? Head for the hills very fast - unless you enjoy the idea of bringing up someone else's child and paying sweetly through the nose for the privilege. If she was cheating with Baby Daddy before she broke with you, then there's a strong likelihood that she will cheat again. You dodged a bullet there - go No Contact (hard and strong) - and pray that the rebound becomes a permanent fixture in her life. The last thing you need down the line is her turning up at your door with squawling sprog in tow telling you ".....how much she loves you!" (and can you stand her $100 for nappies?) Link to post Share on other sites
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 There really is no advice to give a person other than, move on. I have read this over and over and tried to come up with something better. I got nothing. My girlfriend started dating a guy years ago. She found out 5 months into their relationship he was going to be a father. In his defense, he didn't know and wasn't told until 2 months before the baby was born, so it wasn't as if he cheated... He slept with a girl, then started dating my girlfriend right after. The bio mom is a drug addict and the child was taken out of her care. The father was also in the same boat... He is a drug abuser and my girlfriend ended up having his child 2 years after this as well. She now has full custody of her own daughter, but the daughter that was born 2 years before her own. She is now raising two beautiful girls 5 & 7, by herself with no one to help. One isn't hers biologically but she is her Mommy and they wouldn't have it any other way. It nearly broke her to raise this child though and raising peoples children when you didn't lay down and make them, is heartbreaking. What would you like to see happen here? I don't think its good to jump to conclusions about whether she was sleeping with him prior to your break up, but getting tested anyway, is a smart plan. What she has done is completely and utterly ridiculous. You ask, " what was she thinking????!?!" She wasn't thinking. She was rebounding and being ****ing moron and probably trying to hurt you. The saddest part is there is a child in play now and no one knows what end is up. Would you raise this child as if it were your own? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 thanks for the response guys. i'm not sure how to deal with this though. i know i'm supposed to take care of me and all that stuff. but it still doesnt make sense. how can she possibly be ok with this ? seems like some of her friends are even thinking she is crazy for doing this. makes zero sense If she's the type of person that is against abortion, then she has no other choice BUT to be okay with this. Link to post Share on other sites
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