Dealing with 3 years (on & off) relationship ? I feel like been used and bruised...

[risetogether]

We were university mates (we are 6 month in age apart-we met at the age of 23/24). I know this girl from 6 years now. There was no relation during our university times, though we would have interesting talk some time. I left the city after graduation to pursue my career. After 2 years, she planned to come to the same city for a job. We met several time for this purpose &chemistry just built. She moved into the flat I was living. I drove her &her stuff from another city to this flat (in the way we had loads of travel fun) & things just kicked on. Though I was cautious in the beginning about my feelings, she seems to have completely fallen in love.... we went on doing 1000+ miles car trip in the mountains, and basically created loads of good memories. I wrote mine & her name on the sand beach...She admitted that she loves me a lot. She would stare straight into my eyes. I would always pick her up from airport, stations (as she was doing consulting job and had to travel a lot).

Fast forward 10 months, she goes home for Christmas & after she comes back she says It is not going to work-out, cried. I said, I accept her feeling & let her go…we remain friends.. but lived in the same flat… 2 months later, she has a boyfriend- coworker (a 43 years old, divorced with kid and an ex army man). But anyways, she has been poached by his guy at work several time before and said to her that he is quite rich & he divorced his wife, because she cheated on him… Anyways, their relationship started & carried on for about 7 months. We agreed that she should not bring this guy at the flat, they can do whatever they like anywhere else. After 4 months, I started telling my now ex that we should get back together that we are same age, same university, same outlook on life, our stars match, we have good jobs & we can make it good together. I admit, I did beg her to be together. This time she still sees me and talks to me oddly. She kissed me once I met her at the station. The guy breaks up with the girl for unknown reasons…the girl comes back to me confused. Anyway, the guy goes off & we started to do things all over again… we went to countless restaurants, drove to island, went to see Olympics, I will pick her up from the station, will cook breakfast for her sometime on Sundays. I let her move into a bigger room & decorated & designed a room for her. I bought her jewellery and clothes sometimes. I saved a lot of money for the flat & we went onto see new flats. I bought flat this year in Jan, 2013 a big though only one bed, I am planning to buy bigger next year.. She knows my plans and she was happy with it. I consulted her before buying this flat. "Now This is one of her lame excuse that it is only one bed and she had got loads of stuff". Her mother and grandmother really started to like me a lot. Her mother asked her to move with me in the new flat.

 

Now comes Jan 2013, she introduces me a co-worker (38+ years old), which she says is a friend who is interested in robots and she likes to invite him over the weekend to build a little robot with him.(and I should become his friend too). It will be done in 2 weeks. I said its ok, I trusted her 100% and she said to me nothing is going to happen between him and her. it is just friendship. I did’nt like him as he was talking about his balls & my girlfriend boobs in front of me at the restaurant. Now she would start to drift away, during the week she is at work in another city & over the weekend, she is building robots and meeting friend. She would talk to this guy for hours on skype & late nights. We would not sleep together anymore as she is always tired and all that. I once walked in the room & they are both on the same bed (nothing was going on), but I told my girl-friend that it is not nice to be on the same bed. I was studying for my own exams & started to become angry & also started to drift away a bit (as she would not go out with me & say that she is with work-colleagues after work). I would still pick her up from station & kiss her good-bye all the time, but I saw things were changing. As I was busy studying for my own exam, I would not walk into her room when the guy is in the flat. Her birthday was in February & bought her a cake & necklace. I confronted her on 13th march about this situation & she admits that she has feeling for him & we should break up. She said, may be this will make us stronger and giving me mixed signal. I did my investigation & found out that they have been talking dirty from the beginning (Jan 2013) & the guy has given her a Dildo . I also found condoms in her room. I was fuming. We agreed again that she should not bring this guy in the flat anymore & she should do whatever she likes outside the house or move out for the sake of carrying on with her new relationship.

The robot is not finished for 3 months. We are broken & she is on to a new relationship. The guy might move to another country in 3 months. He suggests her that he might stick around for 2+y. He is being telling her that he is establishing a business and he is going to make it big.We are not talking anymore, but she lied & brought this guy at home & being ******* with him. I confronted her and said bad words to her while this guy was listening… He did not have the courage to come out of the room & confront me & left. She says she would not do it again & her mother really likes me & her mother thinks she is crazy, but she can’t help it. The guy slept again in our flat last night, but I don’t know what should I do?.. I am studying for an exam and its taking a toll on me...I can not concentrate... I really wanted to be with her, she has crushed me.

Edited April 26, 2013 by risetogether