LIFE.GOES.wrONg Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Wow, hard morning. Can't stop crying! I want her back so bad today. She took more of her stuff last night befire I got home, I didn't see it until I went to bed. Everything here, hers, mine, ours has an emotional attachment to me. Hell the first thing she took was her coffee maker and I don't even drink coffee. But I've made it for her hundreds of times and I bought her that Dan, you also need to realize that your desire for her is on overdrive right now because you can't have her. Try not to put her on a pedestal in your mind - she's a human being - flesh and blood - sweat and sh@#. Flawed like the rest of us. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 On my way to work she was parked on the side of the road. I stopped and asked her what she took last night because I found that an 8mm tape she had made for me from bavk when we were atill just dating was gone. She said she had no idea where it was and then lost my self staryed crying uncontrollably, she said that all tue in love feelings she had for me are completely gone just got to work still crying after an hour drive Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Also some of her sister'smail showed up at my home. She is using my address to make it seem sshe's not living with the man who beat her up and went to jail for it. I stupidly threatened to call the county and let them know... I took it back and said that was an emotional responce, but I was sorta thinking of doing this anyways to get a no contact order for my daughter to not go over there any more Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 On my way to work she was parked on the side of the road. I stopped and asked her what she took last night because I found that an 8mm tape she had made for me from bavk when we were atill just dating was gone. She said she had no idea where it was and then lost my self staryed crying uncontrollably, she said that all tue in love feelings she had for me are completely gone just got to work still crying after an hour drive And she says your cold ((hugs)) try to make her words to you a stronger person, in time they will, this is what we've been saying to you...she isn't the person you remember, she has changed, she's left the building and done this a long time ago in her head-you wont win! its only these knocks that will wake you up to reality ....ive had many unnecessary things said to me since he left, its like they feel the need to twist that knife just a little more... hide all the stuff you wouldn't want her to take...you cannot trust her! things have changed! remove all her stuff from each room and put it in one place and tell her until things settle she's not to touch anything else....if she steps over that line, tell her you'll make alternative child care arrangements Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 I asked her for a hug, she did. It felt to good but I think it made things worse. I can not believe how much I want her. She smelled so good, looks amazing, this is too much Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I'd like to clarify one thing. I KNOW I can't get her back. She's made that very clear. I am not trying to do anything to get her back. It's not about winning or losing. I am doing my best to move forward but she will never be gone, and I don't want her to be. I want my wife back, as it's been said this person is not the same person. But she has to still be in there some where. If she suddenly came to the conclusion that this was all a mistake I would take her back in a heart beat. But I do know that will never happen. So I've tried LC to the best of my ability and I'm failing because my emotions are so strong I can't hold them in. Then on the two occasions I'vebeen able to she says I'm being mean... the few people I work with just keep thinking they have to remind me to live for my daughter. I know this. I know this. But I'm terrified my wife will take my daughter and move to a cabin in the mountians in another state. She has told everyone that is what she dreams of doing some day. I'm rambling, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 She was late almost an hour today picking up my 8yr old from the bus stop... she was "apartment hunting" and ran into traffic. It was the firat really beautiful day out, I know she was just with her man and lost track of time. I wish I jad enough money to get a lawyer to put an end to this. Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 She was late almost an hour today picking up my 8yr old from the bus stop... she was "apartment hunting" and ran into traffic. It was the firat really beautiful day out, I know she was just with her man and lost track of time. I wish I jad enough money to get a lawyer to put an end to this. Dan Document everything, date, time .... Take your darling daughter out to make up for her slackness! You will probably have many more slack days to come, never thought mine would be like that with the kids but he has! Selfish! Put your anger into a day out with your daughter and focusing on making forward changes, it feels good Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 So I get home and she's laying on the couch like she's sleeping, but she's been crying... WTF She said this is all so hard for her and this is how she feels all the time. She said "I have to keep my head up" I said she doesn't have to leave. She said "It's not working between us" I'm so confused... she even cut flowers from the yard and put them in a vase... "So it would smell nice in the house for you" I was hugging HER tonight... I know everyone is going to say this is some mind game, but she seems so hurt by her own actions, why not just stop the madness?! Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 So I get home and she's laying on the couch like she's sleeping, but she's been crying... WTF She said this is all so hard for her and this is how she feels all the time. She said "I have to keep my head up" I said she doesn't have to leave. She said "It's not working between us" I'm so confused... she even cut flowers from the yard and put them in a vase... "So it would smell nice in the house for you" I was hugging HER tonight... I know everyone is going to say this is some mind game, but she seems so hurt by her own actions, why not just stop the madness?! Dan Its fine if you wana try to sort thing out,but seriously dont make this a walk in the park for her ....Dan my Ex emailed me telling me he'd made the biggest mistake of his life...i took him back and he left 2 days later saying he'd made a mistake! i made it way too easy for him...actions speak louder than words, she needs to show you that its you she really wants...she's being so selfish Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 The problem is that she is being led... by her family. Last night she said she felt so alone, but they are filling her mind and she's been with another guy... I'm so messed up today Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 The problem is that she is being led... by her family. Last night she said she felt so alone, but they are filling her mind and she's been with another guy... I'm so messed up today Excuses excuses .... I think 'like I did on giving my ex another chance' it's the only way it opened my eyes and a final decision was made. Seems like you need to do the same, if that's what it takes for you to make up your mind and stop torturing yourself then do what you feel is best...just don't allow this to be so open that it effects your daughter. All the time you allow her to have so much contact you will constantly go around in circles sadly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 I talked with a friend for an hour and 45 minutes today on the phone and she made some really good points. She said if she were considering coming back, would she want to come back to the person you are being right now? Ans: No, I'm depressed and needy. Are you the person she fell in love with in the beginning? Ans: No, I was confident and didn't need anyone or any thing to make me happy, I just wemt with the flow. I love the perspective, but I'm 13 years older, have a full time job, a daughter and a lot less time to just be that person again. How do I get me back to that place? For myself and for a chance to be the man she wants to be with? Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I talked with a friend for an hour and 45 minutes today on the phone and she made some really good points. She said if she were considering coming back, would she want to come back to the person you are being right now? Ans: No, I'm depressed and needy. Are you the person she fell in love with in the beginning? Ans: No, I was confident and didn't need anyone or any thing to make me happy, I just wemt with the flow. I love the perspective, but I'm 13 years older, have a full time job, a daughter and a lot less time to just be that person again. How do I get me back to that place? For myself and for a chance to be the man she wants to be with? Dan All I know 'from how i feel' is that I couldn't do that with constant contact with my H... I needed head space, my situation is different as my H only was "confused" for about 2wks and then made his choice... I had no choice to pick myself up as my future with him was decided and out of my hands. I suppose only you know her, understand her and need to be able to work out what she really wants and after everything that has gone on, wether you want to have a good year 'if not longer' of hard work, of which could end up a good or bad ending Good advice by your friend btw, you need a person/people to clearly clarify things for you when in such confused state. I suppose you need your time.... And make lifestyle changes that will help you grow and change, but this has to be for you! SS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 Thanks Suzie, Honestly, I crave a year of hard work. I should probably say I crave a year of hope and a year to prove that I really love my wife. Would it work in the end? At least there would be a chance and I could tell myself that I was given that chance. I know that the "changes " I need to make are to better myself. But in my current mind set I need more reason. It's just been too long since I've done things for just me. To be honest I barely remeber my life before her. It took me 3 years to get where I was before her from the break up before. Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 I'm fairly sure that she isn't waffling thinking she's going to give me another shot. I just will hold out hope for my own well being. With out that hope I may as well hang myself next time ahe picks up my daughter. If at some point I'm able to get in the mindset of being good enough for her and she still doesn't want me then hooefuly I'll be able to live for me again. If not I'll deal with it then, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 5, 2013 Author Share Posted May 5, 2013 My daughter just informed me that my wife has a plan to "go camping, and never come back" wtf do I do? Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 My daughter just informed me that my wife has a plan to "go camping, and never come back" wtf do I do? Dan Offer help, support advise her to seek help....if she doesn't take your offer or advice let her go camping...there's only so much you can do for someone and she shouldn't be talking like that to your daughter, especially under the circumstances Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 My daughter just informed me that my wife has a plan to "go camping, and never come back" wtf do I do? Dan Not with your daughter? What a thing to say to a child She is really messed up. Unstable. Have your wife only have daughter when you are there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 Sorry I was unclear, yes with my daughter! Link to post Share on other sites
Steen719 Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 You need to contact your attorney tomorrow and find out what you need to do. Do NOT let your wife take your daughter alone. Not sure what other alternatives your have, but I wouldn't. Find out what you can do about this....maybe visitation while you are there. Do it first thing tomorrow and get the ball rolling. Your wife is a acting like a wingnut and it is best you recognize that and protect you and your daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Omg! I thought on her own!! Yes steen is right! Can't afford to mess about on this one! Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 If only I could afford an attorney! I have a friend who is a cop, he told me to file a report online based off what my daughter has said. That way if she does this or starts to do this she can be arrested. I REALLY don't want that to happen, as I'm sure that would be traumatic to my daughter. But I'm not going to just let her take my daughter from me. Dan Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Do u have family that could supervise her visits? Also is there any way you can get free legal advice? We have citizens advice here, they can direct you. Also some lawyers offer a cheap 1hr consultation too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WreckedDan Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 I will seek what ever council I can find tomorrow. I think she is playing a long game on me, and I intend to protect my daughter's best interest at all costs. Thanks guys for the feed back, It means the world to me in my moments of despair, Dan Link to post Share on other sites
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