13 Years gone, 1 month in

[WreckedDan]

I'm stuck doing nothing because of my emotional state, can't think clearly

[Steen719]

No offense intended here, but you better get off your duff and figure out what your alternatives are for your daughter with regards to your wife and visitation. That is the most important thing right now and you need to do it. Your daughter needs you to be strong and decisive. She already has a mother who has gone around the bend. So find a way to manage making her and this a priority.

[Gunny376]

I don't know for sure and certain what ~ ""go camping, and never come back" with your daughter necessarly implies? But I sure as hell not what it would infer to me? (Imply meaning the message she was attempting to say, infer meaning what you heard from the words she spoke!")

 

I would do whateve is necessary to absoultely ensure the safety of my DD, even if it means involving the authorties and to make sure that the wife didn't disapper with my DD from my life!

 

Seriously time to man-up IMHO!

[WreckedDan]

So, after seeing my councelor she calmed me down about what my daughter said. Kids have strong imaginations and all that. Still scared but not going to let it imobilize me. Wife tells me she will have her apartment in 2 days. Worried how this will effect my time with my daughter in the here and now. However it's a tiny one bedroom so not sure it's a good place for my daughter to be raised in. I will see my wife to,orrow and ask her to set a time to go file together and go over what I think is a fair parenting plan. If she fights this, I will go file alone and get it done and the courts can decide, as I feel I am by far in the better position in my life. Sadly I'm not the.mother so I'm at that disadvantage.. but she is having an affair and moved an hour away from where our daughter grew up so, maybe considering school districts, and that she has her own room will play out well.

 

Dan

[Simpleoldschool]

Hey dan,

 

We are here for you. Just know this is a place you can say and feel how you want to. I use to be in the military. Ive been duped a couple times. Matter of fact i married someone who said and threatened she wanted a divorce for six months straight. She wasnt intent on it but it hurt like hell until today it got serious.

 

But enough about me. You need to take a second. A deep breath. And realize something here. You are important. You have been doing the right thing and you deserve to be alive. Your daughter deserves a father who will protect her right now. If you off yourself your wife will drag her down a path. A destructive one. Hold those little hands and understand that they need your help because you are the only one who can help. You deserve to be alive and your daughter loves you. You have plenty of reasons to live. 13 years are a long time. But the time unseen is even longer. It seems hopeless. I know. There were days in the sandbox i thought about killing myself but i didnt.

 

Trust me man. You really dont want to die. The pain will drag you back and forth. Up and down and straight through the mud but even as much as it is your tough. You are a wonderfull person, im sure.

 

Dan, never kill yourself for a person thats selfish. Thats like saying your life should be given up for someones elses life thats being filled with selfish pursuits.

Dont do it. No one is worth your life unless they choose to be at your side, spending theres with you.

 

Remeber you have reasons to be alive. If not anything else, your daughter. Id say do whats right. Get custody of your daughter immediately and she will know that what shes doing is a game she will lose. Im sorry your hurt. Others are hurting here too. Lol im in a parking lot right now wondering where im headed in life. But hey i have to be there to find out. So do you. Keep your head up, stay strong and show her through how great you will be, that her **** does stink too.

 

Ill be praying for you brother.

If you think her life is precious enough to end yours, ill tell you something. If she males you feel that way she isnt treating you properly. Tell yourself you deserve much more and then, go find it. That will show you what your life is really worth and it will last longer than 13 years. There is always hope, you just have to run through the pain to find it. Youll get there and im here if you need

[Simpleoldschool]

Dan from expierience. Dont be a yes man.

Think about this. Shes flushing 13 years. Shes the one making the mistake. Trust me. Do research and prepare for a battle. She will lie to you. Sleep with you and devise any means for the day in the courtroom to be easier. If you think you knew your wife. Your just getting to know her now.

 

Get a lawyer. One who is ready to ground and pound. Take your ammo and claim unfit parent. If shes willing to throw you to the curb, your daughter will pay for everything she puts her through man. Dont let that happen. I know you love her but open your eyes. Shes going to use that to play you. I got you though of you have questions or need help.

[Simpleoldschool]

What i would do, is call the police on the basis of a possible kidnapping attempt dan. You should do it.

[Simpleoldschool]

Hey dan,

 

Im here for you just letting you know. Im going to say some thing and ask you some questions if thats ok with you. This is all your pace.

 

First let me key in on something.

I dont think you really want to kill yourself.

You called a hotline. I think thats why.

You just want to know whats happening. Whats going to happen and how to get through this.

 

There are answers but you have to be there for them. It is my hope you are ready to walk this journey. It may be hard but you HAVE to get through this.

Since i cant be there all the time, engage your support system. Friends and family. Understand they may not always be there BUT you are a part of their life . Someone they value.

 

Dan,

 

I feel i need to know. Do you have a plan on how your going to kill yourself?

If you do, stop right there. Now, what i want you to do next is think about your daughter. Put a mental picture of her in your mind. One of her crying. At your funeral telling you to wake up. Crying. Hurting.Now i want you to hear her say the words "daddy". What does that word mean to you dan? Shes saying it and you cant even answer her crys. You wont be there to wip tears from her face ever again. Not once in her life will her daddy be there when she needs him the VERY most.

 

Now i want you to view her in the casket . She carried out your plan for yourself. Envision her future. She lost her dad. She cant deal with the pain. Could you handle that dan? If your answer is no then understand how preicious life is. Your life is and how precious her life is. They are entertwined.do you think you could bear to see her little body lumped up in a casket ready to be shoved in the dirt?

 

Dan shes YOUR LITTLE girl. I know you cant imagine her little body taken from you. Lifeless in a casket. I know you couldnt bear burring her. Do you think she could?

 

Question number two.

Do you still think its appropriate. You have so many things i might not have. A daughter. Dan if i had a little one no one on this wOrld would take her from me. You better beilieve i would be ready to be her father. Everyday! Id be alive knowing that shes a part of me. MY LITTLE GIRL. Be that man, dan!

 

Dan i want you to picture all your friends. I want you to picture yourself at their funerals. Asking yourself why. What happened.

 

Dan i dont know if your a religious man, but i beilieve God created you in love and in preperation for a great purpouse and a great life. Im sure more than sure he wants your best. Think if you kill yourself for a second. YOu see the man today. Your standing before him. You tell him life was too much to handle and he looks at you. Hurt and tells you that you will now never know the life he had in mind for you. Lets say he shows it to you. Theres a women in your life. You have more than you ever imagined. That women says your name in the sweet way you love hearing it and shes telling you she loves you. You have multiple kids and you see yourself smiling and he asks you would this have been too much to handle dan? What would you say to him? Your dead remeber. Now you see on the other side what life could of been and can not be because you took that away from yourself.

 

Do me a favor dan. Call the police. Get your kid back and of director of child and family services shows up at your door call this number. 720 469 4083.

Ill help you from there and avoid you some really difficult times.

 

Also dan if there is any alchOhal in your house get rid of it NOW! Immediately. Throw it away. Stop drinking. Also DO NOT under any circumstances let DCF, or CPS enter into your home. They are bot allowed even if they threaten you. I know alot about this stuff. Im no lawyer but i know a thing or two about the LAW. Ill tell you something. If you have alchohal in your house dan, and CPS or DCF find out they will lie and say your an abusive alchoholic unfit to raise your child and she is unsafe with you.

 

Dcf and cps use children to pump money into their accounts. Yeah they seem nice but there agenda is to use your child for a crapton of cash for them to steal more children. They will drug your child and have her tell all sorts of outrageous lies about you and how you beat your wife. If that happens dan your child is gone and for good. The levy of the juvenille court systems will topple you over and humpty dumpty will not get back up again. Let me know of any interviews and BE CAREFULL what you tell your cop friend. He may be your friend but he still wears a badge friend or not. I got you dan, we can beat this.

Edited May 15, 2013 by Simpleoldschool

[WreckedDan]

Wow, thatvwas really hard to read... crying in a parking lot right now. I just got done with a councelor apointment and she told me to let things unfold for a while because she thinks my wife is going to realize she's going to be getting more than she can handle. I don't want to kill myself so much as I just want to die. Today is a very hard day right now. I can't afford a lawyer I'm barely holding on financialy as it is. I can't imagine any reason CPS would.be coming to my home... my wife is an alchoholic not me. Though I have a little at my place. I'll dump it as I have no need for it. But my wife also abuses weed. Though in my state it's legal now. I'm so confused and hurt and lost. I'm empty inside and have nothing in me to build on. You can be sure I am always there for my daughter though! Just terrified of my life going on with out my wife... she is/was a part of me. I still can't take my wedding ring off for mre than 10 minutes before I start to panic.

 

Dan

[Simpleoldschool]

I get you dan. It is hard but just try to realize one thing.

You are a good person. If not you wouldnt be hurting. You'd act cold and careless. One things for sure. You have emotions. Your as normal and as good good can be.

 

Dan try to think of it this was. Someone who thinks your wrong for them, isnt right for you. True , honest love doesnt let anyone rarely see your mistakes and if they do they forgive and forget.

 

If it works out with you and your wife then its true love however dan im concerned. You said shes an alchohalic and abuses marijuana. Make sure she doesnt say you got her into it. If you have money and she has acess to it open a new account. Put it all in your name and keep her seperated. If shes use to your funds she will come back but not happy. Dont open the door and call the police. If you want to help you wife she might need to get arrested.

 

Stop. I know that both confused you and hurt a little bit dan, but think of it this way. The police arent there to kill her. She will probably be in jail and you have more ammo. Not to hurt her with but to protect yourself. By all of this happening she will be in a place of humility and

A. Either come around

B. blame you

 

Either way, you are in a position to help her for her bad decisions but DAN dont let her tangle you in a web like a spider and hurt you more. Let her feel where wrong decisions get people in this life. If she apologizes at some point she will know what life will be like without you and then know you are there to help her. Then it will be easier to advise her to go to therapy sessions to stop substance abuse.

 

There are alot of options here dan. You are not outsourced. If you are her resource she will try to take it but make her earn it first. I know judges i stood before one. Almost lost my job because of a lie. Got kicked out of my house for two months. I lived in an abandoned home. Cold showers. No warmth . Dirty toilets. After that i returned home and everything was gone except the tv. She couldnt fit it. She sold everything and tool what she could. I slept on the floor of that apartment. For 7 months barely having enough to buy food. For seven months i ate cereal. I use to be a body builder so the muscle aches hurt like hell. I lost over 120 pounds.

 

All the while her calling me, and me being forced to pay her new rent and mine. I had all the bills i did while she was there that she never contributed to. I saw her 2 days ago and she made me a laughing stock in a parking lot( not sure if i told you) and wanted to tell me she was a good person. I lost a job, friends. Almost family because of her.

 

I just was there dan and am trying to save you from the negativity you dont have to go through. She thinks shes safe because you love her so in her mind shes allowed to get away with bad behaviour without anyone telling her otherwise or happening. You need to assert yourself. Say these thirteen years were amazing. Smile. Laugh. Cry and then dan you need to be yourself. Love yourself. Who you are. The only dan there is. You will come out of this stronger toghether, with her or stronger in yourself and another women will see that and think thats attractive. And who knows maybe youll have full custody of your little girl but dan, its your life dont let someone take it. You can have a family again and guess what spend 13 years with another women and the good news is see 14 years with that one if not with your wife now.

 

If she leaves show another girl a good time. Show her dan the only way she knows him and she will be happy dan. And she will love you and you wont remeber pain because you will be expieriencing joy.

 

Just find out next time you meet someone if thats a good person to love. A right person to love. You'll get there dan. You have time, i know because your alive.

[Simpleoldschool]

And also dan remeber this. No matter what door closes your in a room full of doors. You life is your house. For every door shut there is another to open. Something waiting there for you. Something you cant see behind. But when you are ready you will be the only one who can open it. With or without your wife.

 

When that happens something or someone is waiting. They might have been standing there on the other side. Waiting. But if its someone new you can be a relief, dan and she will be yours.

 

Im a little old school i guess. In your next relationship take things slow. That you are comfortable. A good women will understand because thats a women at a time or another who had a broken heart. She will be more likely to understand her responsibilities in a relationship. A women not all the time. Some are emotionally young the only exception whO cant do that wants you to be a sugar daddy. Just be carefull dan. Your heart like the heart of any women has to be held and honored. Not squeezed and pumped.

 

There is one out there fore you. God said its not good for a man to be alone. He created you. Youll find her but only when DAN is ready. You might have found her but im weary of this one dan.

 

Remeber love is a warm place, not cold and shallow.

 

Keep your head UP! Not down. Ever. Cry with a face looking forward chin up and take those steps. You are walking and living your life. In whatever direction its headed. Its not over till the fat lady sings so you grab that fat lady and make her sing until you go deaf. Haha not really but in all seriousness. Tommorow is a new day. A new dan who has learned more than the old. And say it if you have to. You will be fine! you will be ok and no matter how much gos on in your life. You can stand up for yourself and say yes or no.

 

You have a right to be you. To love you. To hope. To keep a strong faith and to look forward not backward. It will be tough but because it is so will you be tough.And also remeber this. You should never have to look backward. If your looking forward and someone loves you thats the only direction they look. Wondering where there are going, with you there. The only time a women stops looking forward is to have you hold her. To look at you and kiss her. Those are the only moments time will stand still for you and her.

If thats what you want go and find that! I think i know thats what dan wants with this women but if she doesnt want that the women who does, is truely YOUR woman.

 

Go kick some ass dan!

Edited May 15, 2013 by Simpleoldschool

[WreckedDan]

Damn Oldschool, you are freakin inspirational!

 

Thank you for all you have said. I took this relationship really slow at first for just those reasosns. Boiling all this down she's leaving me because of who I have become during a depression brought on by my mother's death. Of course now I get the double whammy... I'm definitely not in a place in my head right now to go seeking out Ms Right, maybe some day. In truth I thought I had Mrs. Right. Guess I was Mr. Wrong.

 

When I see her tonight I will be asking her to plan a time to go over Divorce papers and parenting plans. If she resists I will play it cool, and just go to court tomorrow and file without her. I would like to try to keep things civil, but I'm not going to drag my feet any more... just sucks waking up paicked and unable to get out of bed when i obviously have something so important to do. I hope I can keep motivated through the nightmares.

 

Dan

[WreckedDan]

I wish I had known I was dealing with deoression at the time so I could have sought help and not become an emotioal burden as she says I have. But I felt happy, happy with my family, wife kid, job (though stressful at times) I had no idea I relied on her for my happiness. All I ever wanted from her was to be there with me. Feel like I'm beating a dead horse here, likely said all this before. Just feels a little better to get it out.

 

Dan

[WreckedDan]

When I went home I was polite and calm. I brought up that we should set a day to go file for divorce together and set up a parenting plan so we could move on. She said that she figured on my day off would be best then, and I told her since it would be in the morning we could go any day that worked for her. She avoided the topic after that and tokd me my new haircut looked really good. We went outside and had a smoke, then she left. I hate it when she gives me intamate compliments. Wheshe hugged me good bye on mother's day she told me I smelled good. So confusing and hurtful, especially when I smell her perfume I bought her for Christmas. She looks as good as she did 13 years ago.

 

Arrrg,

Dan

[Shocked Suzie]

When I went home I was polite and calm. I brought up that we should set a day to go file for divorce together and set up a parenting plan so we could move on. She said that she figured on my day off would be best then, and I told her since it would be in the morning we could go any day that worked for her. She avoided the topic after that and tokd me my new haircut looked really good. We went outside and had a smoke, then she left. I hate it when she gives me intamate compliments. Wheshe hugged me good bye on mother's day she told me I smelled good. So confusing and hurtful, especially when I smell her perfume I bought her for Christmas. She looks as good as she did 13 years ago.

 

Arrrg,

Dan

 

seeing her would be a killer... I couldn't have chatted like that (still couldn't) with my Ex.... It would cause to many emotions, your making really hard for yourself...

[Simpleoldschool]

hey dan,

 

sorry i didnt write back.

ill tell you what i noticed though, you got wheel work and cogs turning in her head.now dan, i am not telling you to get a divorce.

 

Dan you are the only one who knows what you want, but dan, also you are the only one who knows what you need.

 

you need a wife.

 

ill tell you what happened dan, she realized she was messing up. you broke her self-esteem dan. women cannot afford that. but thats good. you are showing her that you are willing to do what has to be done if she continues.

 

dan if you wouldnt mind id like to leave you with some suggestions.

 

first if you still want to be toghether with this women she needs to meet the criteria of wife and mother. not who shes been and she needs to know and feel that. if you talk to her again and wish to talk it out and reconcile tell her what you need.

 

a. you need a wife and tell her she hasnt been one.

 

b. your daughter needs a mother and that she hasnt been one. ( when you say this she will get a temper but be cool and assert yourself. then tell her what you dont need.

 

tell her you dont need a women in your life whos going to be a home wrecker. a women who is not your wife but a women who sleeps with other men. tell her if she wants to continue with you, she needs to clean up the mess she made. she needs to be a wife and nothing less or you WILL push forward and find someone who will. tell her you will hand her a relationship-broom (lmao) if she wants this worked out and she better get started sweeping and that is how you will judge and determine if this is all something you want. tell her also she needs to stop her substance abuse. tell her then you will consider if what shes done is repairable by way of you. when you say this dan, you will be in a better position for possible reconciliation but also being yourself standing up for yourself and choosing what dan wants and see if dan has what he needs from someone who should have been giving it to him.

 

tell her if not a divorce right now you two will live seperated for a time until she can show you REAL PROGRESS. nothing hald-butted. during that seperation dan you can think through what dan wants. what dan is feeling and also live your life without the pain she could cause. if by the end of your seperation ( and leggally draft one out with a lawyer, you will only pay for the seperation agreement).

 

let her know a women needs to do right by her man. and honor the house he made FOR HER! and that anything else is selfish. put in the seperation agreement the reason for seperation so you have legal ammo.

 

have it read that the reason seperation is sought is do to unfortunate circumstances that at this time make it unliveable with between you and her and although divorce is not sought at this time, it will be if these areas of her life do not change.

 

alchohalism.

substance abuse.

 

if she is abusive verbally tel her to correct this dont draft it with a lawyer. you may get her in serious trouble. telling you just if you dont want to hurt her.

 

that will be your power in writing for future legal battles. have it filed and have her file a signed copy. if she refuses to sign it you know where you stand with her. if she does sign it then consider the possibility of a marriage with this women.

 

you will do good work here. you will help her, your daughter and most important of all yourself because those are the two people that need you.

without you, they wouldnt be ok. make her KnOw that.

 

tell her if she repeats the mistake ever again of sleeping with another man or deceiving you you WILL WALK. during the time period dan i want you for a time to accept your marriage is over, for now but you are not divorced. make no emotional claim to her. by doing this you will

 

a. find out if you even want to be with her weighing it non emotionally.

b. enjoy DANS LIFE.

 

then when you meet back with her you will be able to see CLEARLY DAN if she

 

a. even cared about you

b. if she truely has changed.

 

at this time you wont be emotionally clouded. you will be a better man. she will see that and chances that will be something she can fall in love with again without being an alchohalic drug user. then she can truly love you. again but

 

IF SHE EVER DID AT ALL.

 

dan i pray for you that you take your time with this. if not a full seperation than a trial seperation. but a legal one.

 

i wznt to tell you something else dan,

 

make sure if you file for divorce you are ready. it should not be an emotional decision. IT SHOULD NOT because then it is done out of emotion and for the wrong reasons. if you filed already be at peace and know you spent 13 years trying. THIS IS ALL YOUR CHOICE! let no one tell you difference. this is all advice dan. i turned my bad expieriences into knowledge and knowledge is a powerfull advantage.

 

make sure dan, while seperated you have NO CONTACT EXCEPT CASUAL, FORMAL ACCORDING TO YOUR AGREEMENT OR SHE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. she has to know she has to change and come to this decision with your help or when you hit the road. FOR A better life. a better life with her or without her.

 

make sure this is all legal so she can feel it. she needs to feel WRONG HERE. dan be compassionate though but not so much you are blinded. if she crys hug her and tell her it will be ok but only if it is this way and your intentions are to help not to hurt even if it does hurt to help.

 

be strong dan, you are you and you are blessed. take care and update us on here. and also know this dan, you tell her you are SERIOUSLY not anything else considering divorce for how she is treating you. may overturn this situation and the spectrum its on. but do what you want but most of all what you need to.

 

a man much wiser than me once said.

 

" find out what you want, then find out what you REALLY want." then youll find out what you want is both, what you want and need. nothing less.

 

dont show her this or read this to her. a strategist knows if he shows his plans to the enemy they have the ability to counter with a greater strategy and divide and conquer. you can do this, remember YOU ARE DAN and no one else is.

 

just make her know YOU will be the one doing the leaving if she reflects badly.

 

dan if you do all i told you, you may get your wife back if by doing this you find out you even want her, which i feel is your decision to make.

 

and also protect your daughter. dan if the fight gets worse atleast on your day in court, your lawyer has a copy of the seperation agreement she signed that she is an alchohalic and a drug user. you will win custody of your child and can prove unfit parent. i saved you time and money all in one day of court.

Edited May 16, 2013 by Simpleoldschool

[WreckedDan]

That's some seriously good advice filing for seoeration rather than divorce and putting the reasons on it... never occured to me. But I'm not going to try to win her back, as badly as i would love to be happy with her I know she's not been happy long enough that she hasn'thad those feelings for me and they aaren't likely to return.

 

Learning to be happy alone is going to be the hard part right now

 

Dan

[tinam]

Twostepsahead

 

Thank u for this post I love reading positive feedback from those further down the track! I've had a pretty flat wknd n feel like the wind has been knocked out of me yet again

 

This gives me hope and helps me push forward... I've known from day one I can do it, just some days are pretty tough

 

Thank u

 

I couldn't have said it better. Im so numb. Or just so tired or both. 1 week today. I've been just kinda reading in a daze. Not able to post back. Just had to say the positive feedback is so helpful when wondering am i gonna hurt forever.

[WreckedDan]

Tinam,

 

This is the worst and most painful experience of my life. If you are one week in, I would suggest this... Get to an MD and get on something for the really bad days. I'm on Anti Depressants and I have something for temporary anxiety for the really bad days. Read and Read some more, it has really helped me recognize emotions as they come up and I'm a little more prepared for them as they come. I would really suggest you post about your own experiences because you will meet a lot of very supportive people here who will listen and help walk you through the dark days ahead. I get a lot of emotional support here.

 

Every story is different so I can't tell you everything but I'll look for your post and follow as I can.

 

Dan

[WreckedDan]

Tonight she took a lot more of her stuff... pretty much emptied the bathroom and the main closet of all her things.

 

When I got home she told me I looked good... I told her she didn't have to say things like that any more... she said It doesn't take any effort... I wish she knew how painful it is to hear that from someone who doesn't love you they way you love them...

 

Dan

[SuperGeek]

My ex-wife did the same thing to me. She would say all these flirtatious comments about me as she was walking out the door. Even said she still loved me. Eventually I got angry, and I told her not to say that stuff to me going forward as it was messing with my head. She stopped the comments and it helped me move on. I am glad I put that boundary in looking back at my history... My ex was saying these things out of guilt based on my counselling.

 

I read your story and it hits home with me. I'm 3 years post divorce. I went through all the same stuff you did and was a wreck for awhile. It gets better, but it takes time.

 

When I got home she told me I looked good... I told her she didn't have to say things like that any more... she said It doesn't take any effort... I wish she knew how painful it is to hear that from someone who doesn't love you they way you love them...

 

Dan

Edited May 17, 2013 by SuperGeek

[worldgonewrong]

WreckedDan - some simple but effective rip-the-bandaid-off type of therapy that I advise: Go to a pawn shop NOW and pawn your damn wedding ring. I mean it.

I did it after I'd been separated for 7 months. At first I was choked up about it. But then I realized I didn't have this ugly, TARNISHED symbolic yoke choking my finger any more.

My point is - it's a step in the healing. (it was for me.)

[Simpleoldschool]

hey dan,

 

writing you again. You did it dan. pat yourself on the back its been another day for you. smile and be proud of yourself.

 

Life is today dan, and life is tommorow. No matter what tell yourself you will LIVE this life. Smile more often. Laugh more and joke to yourself and to others.

 

No matter what dan remember this.

 

You did your best in everything. No one could do what you've done and what your doing. Your the one there doing it. Thats a great accomplishment. You are all of your accomplishments and learned failures that have become a bigger accomplishment.

 

Dan,

 

just know one thing you may have relapses but thats ok. tell yourself you are bigger then they are. look them in the face and tell yourself you are a single man. You are free. You are no longer falling down into a deep sea, looking up at the distance between you and the day. You arent dreaming and arent dazed. You are strong. You cutt the chains at your feet and are rushing to the surface for a breath of air. Dan you are courageous during all of this.

 

Dan learning how to be happy by yourself is learning about how to be happy with yourself. Go to a dave and busters and say " i own this place. laugh and get to gaming. get on the motorcycle game and act like your really on one kicking some ass. when you do this dan people will be watching you. invite people or wait for them to join you. dan the world is filled with people and they are all around you. You are never alone. new relationships are born of the day and in the day. whether its a simple hello or hi or good morning to a stranger. do good work dan and when people feel good because your sharing those good feelings the world can change. it sounds funny but dan that is the power of who you are. You are YOU isnt that amazing. to feel the air. to breath your breaths. to smoke your ciggerettes. to actually be able to see. dan you are amazing in yourself. you have all the tools built into who you are to turn your life into something great and the life of others and one lucky girl. Dan you are the ampe-theater where great things happen and quickly.

 

Dan,

 

i want you to get into the practice of loving yourself. first if its ok with you i want you to write down your good qualitys. see them in black and white. tell yourself you are doing that. that is YOU who you are.

 

then dan this may sound funny but introduce yourself to you and tell yourself its nice meeting you. talk about all your great qualitys that only you have in the moments you share them. thats the touch of your life you leave with other people. dan just remeber love yourself then you can love someone. if you are happy with who you are who wont be happy with you. you wont let people use you, youll walk away from those types. you will attract those according to your self worth because those people, who they are will see that and those who are like you will be the ones associating with you.

 

dan do what you need. never fall into the pit. never put yourself there. you have reasons to love yourself not turn something around inside of you against yourself. Dont listen to the voice that tells you are nothing. the devil will dan he will. its not you because your dan.

 

dan everyday tell yourself you love who you are. everything you may think people find annoying. everything you think people may not like. THEN LAUGH AND HARD! after you do that read something motivational. walk around like life is following you.

 

you can do all of this dan. You choose yourself for yourself. dan be that guy.

 

practice loving yourself but not falling in love with yourself or thats another misery dan. its the misery of the person you had called wife. when we love ourselves others arent important if we fall in love with who we are. be halthy. get outdoors feel good. and dan whether or not you may know it you are never alone. there is someone who walks behind you in this life so that if you fall you can be picked up. his name is God dan. hes always there. never feel alone and know your daughter sleeps with the peace of her father wrapped around her little heart. dan you can make it. Like i said cry with your head up and then, MOVE ON. ignore that person inside you tellling you need to cry. laugh at him and he will go away.

 

do what you like to do, when you like to do it how you like to do it. that energy is speicial dan. women call it by the name of confidence. they know they can be with you, because you can tolerate yourself.

 

dan KICK THE ASS infront of you and make it grow wings. and always remeber you do your best.

 

Live happy dan so if unfortunately tommorow never comes, you can die that way. happy. peacefull and guess what you truely LIVED your life.

 

Good job dan, another day another dan hopefully youll see tommorow.

 

when you sleep dan, think of things that may you happy. closed eyes give rise to a powerfull imagination. you are truely, where you want to be and where that will take you where you need to go.

 

hope your happy dan, im still learning but hey. we all do. smart people hahahaha

 

go kick but dan.

[Simpleoldschool]

ill share a few things with you dan.

 

Never give yourself to hate.

 

never give YOURSELF to sadness.

 

Never give yourself to greed.

 

Never give yourself to obsession.

 

Never give yourself to a lie.

 

Never give yourself, dan to negativity.

 

These are all the evils of this world. all the demons. They are known by their names and for their work. These dan, are what come after you when they take a chip or when someone elses hurt you to take a chip away at you.

 

Ill share something with you dan, its a story.

 

I was in iraq from 2010 to 2011. I was dating a fellow soldier a big no no but i let my feelings of who i thought she was because i thought herself to me and so much bigger then me i couldnt see who she was.

 

The entire time we would talk until that ended and i found out why.

 

we were for some part a support system but dan, she gave in to the above evils. then she started becoming dark. she owned and gave herself to a form of darkness. thats why people hurt eachother. they simply give into these things and she cheated with anyone and everyone she could, not because she was unhappy with me but because she gave herself to pleasures that only last the moment. then she became bitter.

 

when i was hurt and i had a magazine filled with rounds i beilieve Gods plan wasnt for me to die that die instead i fealt compelled to go do my job. i drived up to one of the offices for KBR to process work orders for the tents and billets i was in charge of. I met someone there, someone i would have never had the chance to meet if a couple of minutes ago i gave in to the lie of killing myself as an answer. when i met this man i never talked to him before then. he was touched to talk to me. we talked and he told me to love myself. those next couple of months we talked. we laughed. he taught me things i will never let go. he told me to write who i was one the inside, i did so but even more. i wrote it in and on my heart that killing myself was so stupid. that meant i hated myself. i wasnt anything but right then and right now and i needed to die. i woke up and realized life was waiting for me to see it. he took me out on the porch area one night and we looked up at the stars. i looked around and saw all the lights. some times dan you just have to stop and enjoy whats going on around you. the noizes. the air. the colors. the expierience. it was blissfull. fufilling. i was in all of that somewhere because i was living. living it, the moment or whatever it was. no one can be me, no one can be you.

 

lol if you ever tried to be someone else i doubt its worked. the only person who looks at you the same way is in a mirror and that person makes me laugh sometimes because he makes funny faces or has one. hahah sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself.

 

Dan when we grive there are two options

 

A. coming out of it stronger and more loving towards ourselves

b. bitter and hatefull because we want to force others to observe our hatred.

 

Dan the only things worth anything in this world are these three things.

 

Hope, faith and then LOVE and the greateast of all of these three things are love. Love is perfect. its why it makes us all so happy to feel its touch. there are things i beilieve others may not but i both know them and understand them. Love is perfect. 360 degrees. it surpases all the dauntless expieriences. it moves us out with hope and faith because at the end there is love. because we are always ourselves and we carry it. our hearts dan are an amazing design. how amazing are emotions they empower everything we are. our locomotion. no ones a robot making coffee in the morning making a commute to a job and going to sleep always at the appropriate time.

 

just remember this dan, everything other than love is impermanent.

 

time.

money jobs cars books tvs you name it, even us dan have a body that dies. haha ok well we have a soul but you get me. thats permanent too.

 

thats why dan the only thing that will keep a women around is if she truely loves you and if you truely love her. thats a permanent places hearts meet to touch eachother.

 

 

Dan if you ever think about suicide which we all do at some point or another we are not impervious God is read this.

 

Suicide is selfish and heres why i think that. it cutts off all the good work we can do in our lives and others lives. the love we wont feel. the days that are forfeited. when someone kills themselves because they have free will it greatly effects Gods plan. The demonstration of learning to a point of being giving and loving. If i was gone dan, if everyone was gone we couldnt talk to you.

 

just remeber dan life is great.

 

I beilieve if we live happy when we die, then we pass through into the next world where the gates of heaven are open. no pain, no hurt, no crying no evil and no heartbreak. peoples hearts will finnaly be full because they will have what they need. the affection of a loving God that they can see.feel and in the next existence be immortally loved.all of the great things that they can laugh with and about that will take them to places safe. God will be able to show them things that amount to so much more than anything we know in this life. and damn dan life is good already.your cool dan. you are pretty cool.

 

P.S.

 

teeee i got my eye on another women. i know thats quick but i just want to get to know people. i wasnt looking for it it just happened because i was ready for the day. my eyes were open and i could see around me. and i noticed the greatness in life, you will too. get there dan. i dont plan on dishonoring myself or another. sex to me is sacred so it should never be done with a guilty heart.

 

random notes:

im sitting here looking at a picture today of a women, shrouded by green trees and a beaming sun in the backround holding a dear. she looks happy. she isnt doing much but thats it you dont have to do much to be happy other than just that, be happy and be yourself everywhere you go. Dont let others judgements change you. that just means they have no idea what they are doing and they dont even know who they are themselves.

 

dont be a sponge dan, absorbing the confusion of others. youll fill up and have no where to dump it except back at yourself.

 

im not trying to share really about me dan, but that this is where you will also be. at peace. at reast and crying because your happy and knowing hurt is far away from your house.

Edited May 18, 2013 by Simpleoldschool

[Simpleoldschool]

Dan i think are biggest problem with being happy is

 

A. either falling in love with things that wont make us happy

 

b. chaseing after something we think will but wont.

 

 

society fills a house with empty promises that those things cant give us.

to me a tv really just is a big square that has moving pictures. haha wait for circle tvs what will society do next.

 

haha i think we all are just trying to get the bigger better stuff so our neighbors can say oooo and go out and do the same thing hahaha and then we can say well guess what and pull up in a lambo. but those who have less in this life really have more.

 

hahah that reminds me of german people so much. your neighbor gets something new you get it then he changes routes and gets something else new and its just a competition with bank accounts on the verge of reality coming to give a swift kick and then the repo-guy to get his dollars. hahahaha. life is actually like a comedy.

 

always remeber. do things for the outcome.

 

dan, its easy to be happy. i hope you are. let me know of anything and all of us here or anything. everyone here is posting some really good stuff. there are things to take from everyone because we all in one way or another see something someone else doesnt and has learned something else others dont. This is just a phase. it will pass and it will come to pass. you just need to know that.

 

and also i know some ways around things legally. ask if you need help with legal issues.

Edited May 18, 2013 by Simpleoldschool