Mother in law expects us to pay her bills

[ceres12]

I dont know what to do she is always asking for money and we barely have our home together we have no furniture or anything and now she is more demanding then ever and my husband doesn't see it other than her as a victim. She is just a manipulative horrible person. She is expecting my husband to pay her and her husband's(his dad he never asks for anything is always his mom) bills. She has no shame yet we are a newly married couple and we still need to get our things in place and buy stuff for the house. Should i wait to see if he pays the first bills and then the following month say something to my husband or should we leave it alone? Am upset thats not our responsibility to maintain them all the time what if he didn't have a job then what? am so upset!

[carhill]

Response: 'How does it feel to want?'

 

Then simply move on. Hoovers count on people who roll over on their demands or manipulations. Throw up some barbed wire and they move on to easier targets.

[amaysngrace]

Yes, what carhill said.

 

Tell her no. And if he won't tell her no then tell him you cannot support children and parents too so no babies until he tells her no.

[Radu]

Response: 'How does it feel to want?'

 

Then simply move on. Hoovers count on people who roll over on their demands or manipulations. Throw up some barbed wire and they move on to easier targets.

 

This ^^.

 

Also, thanks for posting this carhil, i just realised how to explain to someone how some of these ppl act.

Hoovers.

[ceres12]

His mom has always been like that but now that we are married she is more demanding then ever and expects him to pay for his parents light bill water bill etc, because she is out of work and his dad supposedly his job is not going well but this is nothing new it has always been like that and his mother made it seem like it is my husband's obligation but cmon all the time? Even before when they were not tight with money she always asked anyway. Every time he talks to her she either needs something or has some upsetting news about ANYTHING and it sucks because i feel like i cant say anything because that is his mother you get me? I cant even imagine when we do have kids she is selfish. SO i dont know if i should not say anything this month and wait till next month if my husband pays for their bills again address it and say something cause it is not our responsibility they are grown adults. She wanted to have access to our bank account!!

[xxoo]

It has to be your h who says no. She won't listen to you.

 

Talk to your h. Ask how HE feels about paying his parent's bills. Really listen. Then tell him how you feel.

 

Get on the same page. Plan what you are willing to give, as a couple (maybe nothing). And then help your h practice what he will say when she asks. It is going to be difficult for him, but he's got to stand up to her and be the one to enforce the boundary.