What's wrong with him? He's driving me nuts

[stumt]

My B/F or H/B is a very jealious person. When we met I dressed my way he said too sexy and now ( over 1yr and 1/2 now together) we start arguing when I get dressed because he says that Im dressing the way that I do to look for someone else and that if thats what I want to let him know and he'll leave. But, honestly speaking I don't dress like I do because of his reasons I dress like I do because I have always dressed like that and I have never had anyone tell me what I could and can't wear.

Also, he doesn't let me go like hanging out by myself or with my sister inlaw. If Im not hangin out with him I can't do it. And it's been since we've been together that I haven't gone out and I'm starting to feel cramped, like I have no space to breath. The only time I am alone outside is when Im at work and him, other than that he's with me ALL that time. And when I try talking to him about forget about it, he starts with "oh, you don't like it, then you know what you got to do" only because he has this mach sh*t about him that drives me nuts sometimes.

I've never had a B/F or H/B like this before so Im kinda lost.

And then when it comes to his sons mother forget about it I can't say a word because it's like war in my house. (we both have children but, his son lives w/his mom)

With everything else in our relationship is good. He is a good man really tries hard.

But there is no bending him when it comes to me hanging out once in a while or etc.

Any advise.

[Girlie]

His behavior is disturbing. I'd say he's insecure, but I think that word isn't extreme enough to illustrate what he's doing. I don't know what to say to you, other than that the longer you stay with him, the worse his behavior will likely become. Whether you realize it or acknowledge it or not, restricting someone like this and basically treating them like property and threatening to leave them if they don't do what they're told is abusive. Typically, this type of behavior escalates into other things, though not always, but it will get worse in one way or another. All I can tell you is that if this is the way you'd like to live the rest of your life, stick around. Otherwise, I'd take him up on his offer to when he says that you know what you need to do: Leave. Run like hell.

[Merin]

Don't mistake "harmless jealousy" for controlling, manipulative behaviour.

 

Trust me, I've been there.

 

While it's okay for him to want to spend time with you, it isn't okay for him to forbid you to have other friends or outside interest that don't include him.

 

He doesn't want you to go anywhere or see anyone without him, because he feels he wouldn't have control over what is being said or done, and that isn't okay.

 

After over a year together, he hasn't changed... don't look for it to happen.

As Girlie suggested.... IF you don't want to continue to live this way.... take him up on his suggestion of you know what to do AND DO IT.

[DJ_Dork]

that guy has insecurity and control issues. most likely he's at a verbally abusive stage and someday he'll be physically abusive. move on, find a new man.