seriousgirl Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 To all Ow, did he tell you he would divorce her and finally he did ? and you two get together happily ??? Does this case really happen ???? If yes, did you two have any breakup in between??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 To all Ow, did he tell you he would divorce her and finally he did ? and you two get together happily ??? Does this case really happen ???? If yes, did you two have any breakup in between??? Initially, there was no expectation he would D or that we would end up together. It was supposed to be a passing fling, from both sides. Then we really got to know each other and fell in love, and decided we wanted to be together. At that point we made plans to be together, and carried them out. He left her, we got together, and have been together happily since (a few years now). No break-ups, in our case. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Do you just wish for OW opinions? Or would you like to know a MM's perspective. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 To all Ow, did he tell you he would divorce her and finally he did ? and you two get together happily ??? Does this case really happen ???? If yes, did you two have any breakup in between??? He promised he would leave her. Twice we split up and the second time he was very upset at the idea of me moving on indefinitely, and he came home from a sporting holiday and came to me instead of going home. We then had a year together, but he went to work many thousands of miles away and it was a bridge too far, we split up. He let me down several times with things he promised to do (getting a flat for example) before we really started making progress and at times it drove me crazy. But the good times outweighed the bad and I don't regret it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 He told me all of the time he was getting a divorce to be with me. This was, of course, after he changed his story from that he was getting a divorce because his ex-wife wanted one. Anyway, he still claims he is going to get a divorce, even though we are now in NC. He claims that he will get a divorce and then come and find me. I don't believe it for a minute. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Curlyj Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 I was the OW years and years ago, and yes, my MM divorced his wife to be with me. We've been together 10+ years and have two kid. It does happen 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SunshineToday Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 OP, anything can happen. You will get the handful of FOW saying it happened, he divorced, we are now oh so happy. In reality it almost never happens, most MM do not leave/divorce their spouses. So it's up to you to decide. How long can you wait for something that you may never get.? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
DelusionalOne Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Do you just wish for OW opinions? Or would you like to know a MM's perspective. I would like a MM perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 He promised he would leave her. Twice we split up and the second time he was very upset at the idea of me moving on indefinitely, and he came home from a sporting holiday and came to me instead of going home. We then had a year together, but he went to work many thousands of miles away and it was a bridge too far, we split up. He let me down several times with things he promised to do (getting a flat for example) before we really started making progress and at times it drove me crazy. But the good times outweighed the bad and I don't regret it at all. You could have cut him some slack on that...Everyone has car troubles from time to time.. (I do get it, we dont use that term in the states other than to describe a flat tire). TFY 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SweetiePie12 Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Initially, there was no expectation he would D or that we would end up together. It was supposed to be a passing fling, from both sides. Then we really got to know each other and fell in love, and decided we wanted to be together. I love this! At that point we made plans to be together, and carried them out. He left her, we got together, and have been together happily since (a few years now). No break-ups, in our case. Congrats!! I've been thinking of situations such as yours. So often, people get together and THEN begin to get to know one another. Kind of backwards, right? In your case, you got to know one another FIRST, then made a very informed decision to be together! Link to post Share on other sites
SweetiePie12 Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 he came home from a sporting holiday and came to me instead of going home. Wow, wow, what did you think of that?! Link to post Share on other sites
SweetiePie12 Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 I was the OW years and years ago, and yes, my MM divorced his wife to be with me. We've been together 10+ years and have two kid. It does happen BEAUTIFUL! Link to post Share on other sites
KeepMeInMind Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Debbie Downer here. Fell in love with a close friend, have the most insane connection and bond. It was never a begging, pleading, desperation kind of thing in regards to expecting each other to walk away from marriages. It was "I want to be with you RIGHT NOW, and FOREVER." We were together 3 weeks and he went back. He's been back for 13 months. Yes, we still saw each other. Obviously, there's a lot that happens in 13 months, but I'll spare the details and just say that: He's not happy. She's rose colored glasses happy. I'm giving him/them space right now. And I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 OP, anything can happen. You will get the handful of FOW saying it happened, he divorced, we are now oh so happy. In reality it almost never happens, most MM do not leave/divorce their spouses. So it's up to you to decide. How long can you wait for something that you may never get.? True. It's not impossible. It's more a matter of how probable it is esp. based on your situation/your MM. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
So happy together Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been good friends for 18 years. Always been attracted and liked one another. about 18 months ago we began an affair. I am single, he was miserable. Four months ago he left and we are together. Very happy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seriousgirl Posted April 28, 2013 Author Share Posted April 28, 2013 is there any successful case that involves like a year of being apart (breakup) and then he is single and chases you again ?? Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 is there any successful case that involves like a year of being apart (breakup) and then he is single and chases you again ?? No two relationships or affairs are exactly alike. Even if you found someone who's in exactly the same position as you, it doesn't mean your situation will end up the same way as theirs. Of course there are patterns and behaviors that are the same (for example, only a small handful of affairs end up as real relationships later on), but the precise path is never exactly the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 I love this! Congrats!! I've been thinking of situations such as yours. So often, people get together and THEN begin to get to know one another. Kind of backwards, right? In your case, you got to know one another FIRST, then made a very informed decision to be together! SweetiePie...I saw this not to be confrontational but just to maybe let you realize something. There is nothing "to love" or "congratulate!" in these situations. You should be humble lest your new found love leave your for another true love in the future. Its like dancing and celebrating on a dead body. Love is wonderful, love is the best thing ever but in these circumstances it comes at the expense of another. I'm not saying you shouldn't be happy and im not saying you two should not be together but nothing to jump up and click your heels together about... 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Curlyj Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Things didn't end up so happy did they? You are the mow now? That is very true. However we had a great 10 years, but it seems our relationship has run its course. Tht happens, affair or regular relationship though. We had an affar for about 3 years before he left his wife...and 10 years post divorce And im not an OW now...i was 'dating' a single OM 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 I tried to.... Was in the early stages of a d when we met...Fell deeply in love, just when things were falling into place, she(OW) decides to bail out....She said she lost faith because it took too long. She wanted me to just "not come home" and basically run off with her.and leave the stbxw and small child(10) high and dry. I couldn't do it. Was helping the exW get on her feet as she hadnt worked in years and it just wasnt that easy. Could I have done it? Sure...But I would never have lived with myself.. I guess it serves me right for entering into a relatonship before everything was done. Believe me I wasnt looking for it... I was DEAD wrong on this. I suffer the guilt like you cant believe. Now I am in a tremendous amount of pain...And I deserve ALL of it... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
lifelesson101 Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 I think MMs who leave/divorce thier wife for the mistress are the EXCEPTION - and a very rare exception - not the rule! My MM did not leave his wife and he never promised or said he would. We did have a long term affair. It was wonderful while it lasted. We talked about the end very often and gave each other the freedom to leave the relationsihp at any time. I believed if it had to end it would a kind ending. My issue is that when the end came, he wiped his ass with me, moved on, and never looked back. It was over in two sentences. I talk about it on a different post, wont go into it here. C'est la vie! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 You could have cut him some slack on that...Everyone has car troubles from time to time.. (I do get it, we dont use that term in the states other than to describe a flat tire). TFY I'm ashamed to say I was totally thrown at first Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Wow, wow, what did you think of that?! Not a moment too soon, was my view. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 Things didn't end up so happy did they? You are the mow now? But if what she said was factually correct, it just seems mean to reply this way. The question was about the MM leaving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted April 28, 2013 Share Posted April 28, 2013 The original question was, and I quote, "To all Ow, did he tell you he would divorce her and finally he did ? and you two get together happily ??? Does this case really happen ???? If yes, did you two have any breakup in between??? curly's current affair leaves one to conclude that she didn't end up happily ever after with her former mm/now husband. Neither did you, since you aren't with him and now are going to be married to someone else, correct? The original question was about ending up happy with mm, no? "Did you get together happily?"... so I can't see your issue. Seems to me she was very happy when they got together. As for 'happy ever after', I didn't realise anyone used that phrase any more Link to post Share on other sites
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