Do women ever actually want men to fight over them?

[Mrlonelyone]

I mean physically fight over them. What do women who are that way get out of it?

[carhill]

Kind of like Caesar watching the blood-letting in the colosseum. Pedestals and looking down and all that.

[Mrlonelyone]

Kind of like Caesar watching the blood-letting in the colosseum. Pedestals and looking down and all that.

 

I kind of understand that and I kind of don't.

 

They get off on the notion that they are important enough that two people should try to kill each other, get in legal trouble, and ruin their lives over them?

 

Anyone who would arrange such a thing on purpose is psycho.

[carhill]

I didn't comment on their sanity

 

At best, it's attention-seeking and ego-feeding behavior. Plenty of sane people engage in such behaviors.

 

I doubt it's very common anymore. It was far more common decades ago in my demographic, since physical violence was far more commonly used to settle disputes out here in the country. We're kind of 'gentrified' now. Everyone has money so they use lawyers instead. Not as much fun for the ladies to watch.

[soccerrprp]

If such women really exist and everything is possible in the dating/relationship world, I suppose, then they are NOT WORTH THE salt in their sweat. Waste of energy and time and spiritually corrupt.

 

They will always have expectations of you that will be unreasonable, exhibitionist and unfulfilled.

 

Hope no one has ever had to deal with such ladies (or men).

[Mrlonelyone]

If such women really exist and everything is possible in the dating/relationship world, I suppose, then they are NOT WORTH THE salt in their sweat. Waste of energy and time and spiritually corrupt.

 

They will always have expectations of you that will be unreasonable, exhibitionist and unfulfilled.

 

Hope no one has ever had to deal with such ladies (or men).

 

Surrender all hope... for I may be dealing with such a person right now.

[Treasa]

I don't want to be with a guy who is that emotionally immature. Save physical fighting for when you're trying to defend your own or someone else's life.

[Quiet Storm]

For women that need external validation, two men fighting over you is very validating. All that drama & conflict makes her feel important. Her ego is dependent on the attention she gets from others, especially men.

 

Women that have healthy self worth would be running from the drama.

 

They feel special and worthy regardless of the actions of others.

[BoneyHadger]

No woman is ever worth fighting for like that, and if she was, you wouldn't have to do that

[Mrlonelyone]

I only ever came across one woman that wanted me to fight for her, but not physically. I told her if she wants the other guy, he can have her. Men or women who pit to other people against each other and think they are a prize to be won deserve to be alone.

 

If that situation was intentionally engineered to cause a confrontation that is the last straw.

 

If she in just multi-dating us, then it is on her to keep dates separate. : /

[todreaminblue]

I mean physically fight over them. What do women who are that way get out of it?

 

 

i have no idea what any woman would get out of it.....but a sick feeling of guilt and ....its just no....it isnt right..deb

[tbf]

Something similar. The ex-husband and I used to go clubbing. Here and there, there would be the odd man who would hassle me and wouldn't take no for an answer. The ex would stand them down with his presence, with or without a few words, for which I was grateful that he could, especially without resorting to violence. But even if it became physically violent, I also knew he could handle himself. It really is a good feeling to know that your partner is capable of protecting you, if need be.

[Mrlonelyone]

I don't date multidaters. Once I find out they are, they are history. By multidating, people ARE having their suitors fight for them so to speak.

 

Thats arrogance as far as I'm concerned. They think people need to prove to them why they should pick one. But by multidating, IMO, they are showing me why I shouldn't pick them.

 

 

that sort of" fight" isn't is the same category. Having so may eligible people to choose from, it is portal to keep options open.

 

It someone creates a situation where one of the suitors doer not hear the score that's, a recipe for disaster.

[carhill]

Another issue worthy of consideration is the observed dichotomy in some women between what they 'actually want' and what they're 'attracted to'.

[Minneloa]

If that situation was intentionally engineered to cause a confrontation that is the last straw.

 

If she in just multi-dating us, then it is on her to keep dates separate. : /

 

Hi Mr. L,

 

May I ask, did anything new happen to make your thinking evolve in this direction? Or is it more of a gut feeling?

 

M.

[tbf]

If that situation was intentionally engineered to cause a confrontation that is the last straw.

 

If she in just multi-dating us, then it is on her to keep dates separate. : /

Why must it be her responsibility to keep dates separate and why must a confrontation be one that leads to physicality?

[Mrlonelyone]

Another issue worthy of consideration is the observed dichotomy in some women between what they 'actually want' and what they're 'attracted to'.

 

Yeah, yeah. Being a member of a minority group I (and my father and uncle) know that all too well. The number of non-black women that would like a black man, even a dandy gender variant one like me, is much greater than the number that would be brave enough to walk hand in glove down the street.

 

Now it's hard to say about M. She does not seem to mind being seen around with me so long as we are not seen together with certain friends of her's who likely would not handle miscegenation well.

 

Hi Mr. L,

 

May I ask, did anything new happen to make your thinking evolve in this direction? Or is it more of a gut feeling?

 

M.

 

Nothing new. I have just been thinking over the logical implications of her setting up such an event, in a place where we often spend time, at a time when she knows I would be there.

 

I see two or three likely possibilities.

 

A.)She wanted me to see her with this guy and "get the message" that inspite of how she acts with me in private, or not around certain of her ignorant young friends, she's not interested. At least not in any more than fooling around a bit from time to time..

 

B.) She set up that event for us and was surprised that he showed up. Then played along as if there was nothing doing between us in front of him, when he was looking. her feminine way of avoiding a conflict. Not to mention sparing her this guys wrath.

 

C.) The most disturbing, she set up a situation where he and I would get into a confrontation simply for her amusement. (tbf: I don't know if you're a guy but between biological males a confrontation almost always means a physical fight at the very least.)

 

 

My read at the time was that B was what was going down.

 

With hindsight I can't see her doing A.

 

With more hindsight I could see her being crazy enough to do C.

 

 

My honest opinion is that there is a 75% chance of B and a 25% chance of A and/or C. It is most likely that she almost got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Edited April 29, 2013 by Mrlonelyone

[Woggle]

Only idiots want that.

[Minneloa]

Yeah, yeah. Being a member of a minority group I (and my father and uncle) know that all too well. The number of non-black women that would like a black man, even a dandy gender variant one like me, is much greater than the number that would be brave enough to walk hand in glove down the street.

 

Now it's hard to say about M. She does not seem to mind being seen around with me so long as we are not seen together with certain friends of her's who likely would not handle miscegenation well.

 

 

 

Nothing new. I have just been thinking over the logical implications of her setting up such an event, in a place where we often spend time, at a time when she knows I would be there.

 

I see two or three likely possibilities.

 

A.)She wanted me to see her with this guy and "get the message" that inspite of how she acts with me in private, or not around certain of her ignorant young friends, she's not interested. At least not in any more than fooling around a bit from time to time..

 

B.) She set up that event for us and was surprised that he showed up. Then played along as if there was nothing doing between us in front of him, when he was looking. her feminine way of avoiding a conflict. Not to mention sparing her this guys wrath.

 

C.) The most disturbing, she set up a situation where he and I would get into a confrontation simply for her amusement. (tbf: I don't know if you're a guy but between biological males a confrontation almost always means a physical fight at the very least.)

 

 

My read at the time was that B was what was going down.

 

With hindsight I can't see her doing A.

 

With more hindsight I could see her being crazy enough to do C.

 

 

My honest opinion is that there is a 75% chance of B and a 25% chance of A and/or C. It is most likely that she almost got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

 

Ugh! None of these is good. If it does turn out to be C, run for the hills. Not in the sense of being a coward, but because that scenario would strongly indicate that M is a selfish drama queen who lacks empathy. That said, if it's scenario B, then it seems like she is being shady & that all parties in the multi-dating situation are not on the same page. Also no bueno.

 

Have you talked with her since the incident?

 

P.S. I am female, and the world of physical confrontation is quite alien to me.

[Feelin Frisky]

Yes. In my experience Latinas and Italians. Surely other ethnicities I haven't sampled and encountered that particular nasty tendency. I think it's part of nature and it makes them feel power and get intoxicated with it.

[Mrlonelyone]

Yes. In my experience Latinas and Italians. Surely other ethnicities I haven't sampled and encountered that particular nasty tendency. I think it's part of nature and it makes them feel power and get intoxicated with it.

 

Latina's and Italians eh? Then I'm screwed.

[tbf]

(tbf: I don't know if you're a guy but between biological males a confrontation almost always means a physical fight at the very least.)

You know I'm a woman so don't pull that type of passive-aggressive crap with me.

 

No, biological males during a confrontation don't always fight in a physical manner. I've had multi-dating partners and also, exes and currents meet. None have ended up in physical altercations. That's juvenile behaviour.

[Feelin Frisky]

With me and the Italian it was back and forth between who was leaving whom and when it was her turn to leave me she wrote me a letter and in it she said "one thing I don't understand is why you never fought for me". This was bizarre to me because there was never anyone else involved--not even a thought of her and anyone. I only fought WITH her FOR us time after time. Still have no idea what she meant. Maybe it was one of her personalities confused with another.

[Mrlonelyone]

I think what they want to see is a combination of deep caring passion and not giving a crap. Gentle, manhandling and rough caressing. Being made love to and being effed like they did something wrong.

 

i.e. As she isn't my wife I don't have a right to really care who else she does things with.

 

I'm just going to sit back and see where things go now. Pick me, pick him life will go on. I'd rather be picked. Her kind of crazy is one I can live with if she can live with my crazy.

[ForeverHopeful1]

I think it is a huge turn off actually. Physicaly violence never solved anything.