Someone to just love me.

[Mrlonelyone]

That title must sound so desperate but it is the truth at this point.

 

Why can't anyone simply love me? Am I that offensive to the eye? Am I that vulgar that no one female, male, gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, blind, deaf, or drug addict can love me? I know people of all kinds who are loved, simply publically, beautifully, and openly by someone. There should be hope for me but after this last go around I am drained of it all.

 

My best prospect in years is far from a perfect person, as we all are. My best situation in years is so complicated.

 

 

Then I get here to hear others tell me how bad I am for not having the simple beautiful love story that they have. As if any of it was under my control. Are we all not mainly slaves to circumstance.

 

 

Here is the circumstance I am in.

 

I am in a complex casual multidating situation where I greatly prefer one person over others. The person I prefer seems to choose who to be with based on who else is around....like choosing shoes. There is nothing wrong with this IMO.

 

To get to that simple loving situation I may have to win through this stage. How uncommon is it?

 

 

This is mainly a rant but thoughtful feedback would be welcome.

[Lilla]

Hi Mr,

 

I am sure you are not too vulgar to love. But love is often difficult. Even when going well, it's still a process of continual communication and changes.

 

I'm curious about your situation, do you and the girl you are most interested in, both have other casual partners? How do you define your dating style and if you won through as it were, would you then want yourself and this person to be exclusive?

[Mrlonelyone]

Hi Mr,

 

I am sure you are not too vulgar to love. But love is often difficult. Even when going well, it's still a process of continual communication and changes.

 

I'm curious about your situation, do you and the girl you are most interested in, both have other casual partners? How do you define your dating style and if you won through as it were, would you then want yourself and this person to be exclusive?

 

 

 

Let me answer you this way. Since no promises have been made it would be foolish to think that any promises have been kept.

 

My dating style has, always been very casual. I am one of those people that does not think multidating is wrong.

 

If I were to win through this part of the process I would want exclusivity. It can be said this very casual multidating stage is the path to exclusivity. To expect it sooner would be foolish.

 

 

My rant was more a response to the way others would write of their simple uncomplicated love lives. How they had someone who simply loved them, right from the start, with none of the initial contest that marks my relationships. I have always had to win over my lovers.

[ScreamingTrees]

[quote=Mrlonelyone;4839226

My rant was more a response to the way others would write of their simple uncomplicated love lives. How they had someone who simply loved them, right from the start, with none of the initial contest that marks my relationships. I have always had to win over my lovers.

 

Well, perhaps they weren't as in love with you as you were with them? Why not try to find someone who does not require you to prove yourself? You must be choosing people, consciously or otherwise, who are not as compatible as you'd think..

 

I'm sorry that things haven't been working out for you, man.. I've always seen you as a strong individual, I'm sure this will pass.. Things will get better!

[Mrlonelyone]

Well, perhaps they weren't as in love with you as you were with them? Why not try to find someone who does not require you to prove yourself? You must be choosing people, consciously or otherwise, who are not as compatible as you'd think..

 

I'm sorry that things haven't been working out for you, man.. I've always seen you as a strong individual, I'm sure this will pass.. Things will get better!

 

You are close.

 

What all my lovers have had in common is racial, age, cultural, or class differences. If anything I have had to be able to overwhelm those barriers.

 

To do what you say I would have to restirct myself to a small group of what american anthropologist call "tri-racial isolate" groups. People with my name cultural and racial background. There aren't many of us, so it's just not practical.

 

 

What I am dealing with right now is age and racial differences plus what is a normal amount of competition for this stage.

Edited April 29, 2013 by Mrlonelyone

[ScreamingTrees]

You are close.

 

What all my lovers have had in common is racial, age, cultural, or class differences. If anything I have had to be able to overwhelm those barriers.

 

To do what you say I would have to restirct myself to a small group of what american anthropologist call "tri-racial isolate" groups. People with my name cultural and racial background. There aren't many of us, so it's just not practical.

 

 

What I am dealing with right now is age and racial differences plus what is a normal amount of competition for this stage.

 

Well, rarely do I meet someone of the opposite sex of a similar cultural background/nationality.. I can understand where you're coming from, but you're definitely much well off than I am, having had some success, anyways.

 

You can't find someone who isn't exactly the same as yourself who will readily accept you? Well.. I think you'll find someone eventually, even if it takes some more time.

[Mrlonelyone]

Well, rarely do I meet someone of the opposite sex of a similar cultural background/nationality.. I can understand where you're coming from, but you're definitely much well off than I am, having had some success, anyways.

 

You can't find someone who isn't exactly the same as yourself who will readily accept you? Well.. I think you'll find someone eventually, even if it takes some more time.

 

 

Well what can I say. I am a combination of two historically disadvantaged groups. African-Native american's aren't in great supply, pick your poision of stereotypes.

 

Heck, many are the times I have people think I'm an immigrant.

[Mrlonelyone]

You can't find someone who isn't exactly the same as yourself who will readily accept you? Well.. I think you'll find someone eventually, even if it takes some more time.

 

If that is the impression people got from my initial rant then I don't know what to say.

 

Only that if someone was of my specific subculture, race, and even region of origin, it would be so much easier. My mother and father did not really find true love with eachother until they found eachother, and that's exactly what they are.

 

I would love to love someone from another culture, or another race, or religion. Indeed all my loves so far have been at least one of those things. In the end it does not work, in part, because of those differences.

[Disillusioned]

The upshot is... when you finally do find that person, it's fun to watch the haters get all flustered and give you dirty looks because you don't "deserve" that person.

[hppr]

I am in a complex casual multidating situation where I greatly prefer one person over others. The person I prefer seems to choose who to be with based on who else is around....like choosing shoes. There is nothing wrong with this IMO.

 

Barking up the wrong tree IMHO.

[hppr]

Well what can I say. I am a combination of two historically disadvantaged groups. African-Native american's aren't in great supply, pick your poision of stereotypes.

 

Heck, many are the times I have people think I'm an immigrant.

 

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses the key is finding them. To hell with other people's stereotypes, prove em wrong. Yeah it's an uphill battle but so is dating while short/ugly, poor, whatever. I know what you mean though there were a few times I thought I was just totally, 100% doomed but I got through it.