Nadyajmia123 Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 I've been with my boyfriend almost two years. I have been married twice and he has been married once. He has told me in the past he doesn't want marriage again. But then he'll say possibly in 7-8 years. He just doesn't know. Both of our marriages ended due to infidelity. He has told me he was somewhat pressured by his first marriage to get married due to it was the right thing to do. I have my own home and he his. I am taking care of two homes but mainly stay with him. In the last month or so he has been looking at homes and wants us to buy one together. I'm not wanting to get married right now. I just want more of a commitment of a ring. I love him dearly and want to wait on him if that's what I need to do. But he states we don't need all of that and for me to just be happy we are together. Idk what to do. I know he loves me I just want that little bit more of a commitment of a ring. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadyajmia123 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Share Posted April 29, 2013 Confused was suppose to be in title..sorry Link to post Share on other sites
LeGenDary_Man Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 (edited) Inform him that 7-8 years is a big time and you would prefer to be his fiancé at minimum to commit to him for such a long period prior to marriage. It is possible that he is paranoid of marriage due to bad experience in his former relationship and mentioned such a long duration for considering second marriage out of fear; he might commit much earlier depending upon how the relationship between both of you pan out. However, it is also possible that he is not ready for major commitment and just wants to enjoy his time with you (Y'know: why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free). So weigh your options carefully and don't be blinded by your love for him. You have already been his GF for 2 years and he still isn't sure about committing with you in the manner you like. I wouldn't recommend you to sell your house and shift to his or buy a new one with him at current stage without serious commitment from him. Also, avoid having kids with him. Their are some cases in which a woman have seriously committed to a man for long long time without marriage only to end-up getting heart-burned in the process (man refused to marry) and leave. So do not put yourself in this trap. You have been cheated upon twice before; you should be very careful at choosing a partner this time. What do your parents think about this? Edited April 29, 2013 by LeGenDary_Man Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadyajmia123 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Share Posted April 29, 2013 Thank you for your comment. When we buy a house he said he would put in a will or in writing the home would be mine if for some reason we didn't work out. I have two children and he doesn't have kids. He loves my kids as if they were his own and very good to them. Neither of us wants to have children together so that's good. As for my parents they have both passed away so no one to ask there. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 I'm not wanting to get married right now. I just want more of a commitment of a ring. Seems like a hodge podge of commitment and standoff - ring but no date, house but no marriage, together but separate. Neither fish nor fowl. What are you trying express with all these mixed messages ??? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadyajmia123 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Share Posted April 29, 2013 I suppose what I meant to say is I'm willing to wait and am ok with not setting a date for marriage. To me a ring is just a bit closer to total commitment. Hope this makes sense Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 I suppose what I meant to say is I'm willing to wait and am ok with not setting a date for marriage. To me a ring is just a bit closer to total commitment. Hope this makes sense I'd does. But for the 7-8 years, you couldn't easily walk away from the house and you wouldn't have the legal protection of marriage. Seems like a strange, in-between state, almost as if you're unsure about each other. Or based on your histories, unsure about marriage ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 If you want marriage and he doesn't, (and it very much sounds as though he doesn't), don't buy a home together. Don't buy into his claim of possibly wanting to get married in 7-8 years...because how will you feel if you hang around based on this hope, only to then find yourself asking for advice about how to leave a long-term relationship because he STILL couldn't commit? Until you're on the same page about your future, I wouldn't dream of purchasing a home together. Link to post Share on other sites
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