Getting crush on co-worker

[Pistol pete]

Hey all

 

I'm finding myself in a bit of a quandary recently. I got relocated with my job back in January, moving up to the floor above.

 

On my first day I noticed a woman milling around and was instantly attracted to her... and then low and behold, a few weeks later.. the person who sat next to me left and the woman in question inherited her job.

 

We talk a fair bit during the day, usually having a laugh about work stuff and it seems whenever I talk to her she is always smiling at me. She is a very friendly person though, so I'm not sure if this is just how she is. She also mostly initiates the chatting.

 

The other day we discovered we were both going out to see a comedy show and that she was going with a guy. I was standing at the end of the desk, doing some filing while she was discussing it with a couple of other girls in the office. Saying that he'd be picking her up at x o'clock and hopefully he wouldn't be late this time as usual, she then says 'yeah I've got him well trained' and laughs. Naturally I was pretty bummed lol. She then looks towards me and says 'he's a friend by the way, not my boyfriend'. But I'm not sure that was meant in a.. I'm not that sort of woman, don't judge me... kinda way.

 

Trouble is, being a guy, I am USELESS at reading women, so I really have no clue lol

 

Now, the trouble is.. I like her, however the whole work thing is complicated, considering not only do I work with her, I sit next to her :\ I have asked a co-worker out before many years ago, with disastrous results so I wary of these things.

 

I was thinking that I should just sit and do nothing for now, bide my time and hopefully things will become clearer. I should also point out that she is only a temp, so I have no idea how long she will actually be working here for.

 

But any advice in this situation would be greatly welcomed.

 

Thanks

Edited April 29, 2013 by Pistol pete

[will1988]

Hey all

 

I'm finding myself in a bit of a quandary recently. I got relocated with my job back in January, moving up to the floor above.

 

On my first day I noticed a woman milling around and was instantly attracted to her... and then low and behold, a few weeks later.. the person who sat next to me left and the woman in question inherited her job.

 

We talk a fair bit during the day, usually having a laugh about work stuff and it seems whenever I talk to her she is always smiling at me. She is a very friendly person though, so I'm not sure if this is just how she is. She also mostly initiates the chatting.

 

The other day we discovered we were both going out to see a comedy show and that she was going with a guy. I was standing at the end of the desk, doing some filing while she was discussing it with a couple of other girls in the office. Saying that he'd be picking her up at x o'clock and hopefully he wouldn't be late this time as usual, she then says 'yeah I've got him well trained' and laughs. Naturally I was pretty bummed lol. She then looks towards me and says 'he's a friend by the way, not my boyfriend'. But I'm not sure that was meant in a.. I'm not that sort of woman, don't judge me... kinda way.

 

Trouble is, being a guy, I am USELESS at reading women, so I really have no clue lol

 

Now, the trouble is.. I like her, however the whole work thing is complicated, considering not only do I work with her, I sit next to her :\ I have asked a co-worker out before many years ago, with disastrous results so I wary of these things.

 

I was thinking that I should just sit and do nothing for now, bide my time and hopefully things will become clearer. I should also point out that she is only a temp, so I have no idea how long she will actually be working here for.

 

But any advice in this situation would be greatly welcomed.

 

Thanks

 

 

Do you all get lunch breaks? Do you both drink? Maybe ask her, as a coworker (and you may want to invite other coworkers) to go to lunch, or grab coffee, or do happy hour after work. From there you can talk about more personal stuff and see how that goes. That way you are not asking her out, directly, and you can better gauge the situation.

 

good luck

[road]

Hey all

 

 

The other day we discovered we were both going out to see a comedy show and that she was going with a guy. I was standing at the end of the desk, doing some filing while she was discussing it with a couple of other girls in the office. Saying that he'd be picking her up at x o'clock and hopefully he wouldn't be late this time as usual, she then says 'yeah I've got him well trained' and laughs. Naturally I was pretty bummed lol. She then looks towards me and says 'he's a friend by the way, not my boyfriend'. But I'm not sure that was meant in a.. I'm not that sort of woman, don't judge me... kinda way.

 

I have asked a co-worker out before many years ago, with disastrous results so I wary of these things.

 

 

When a girl says that and she is out going with you. Chats you up during the day. She wants you to ask her out.

 

Many married people met their spouses at work.

 

Work place romances can go well. Thing is to act with class. Date her if you think she is wife material.

 

Do not date her just to bang her and you should have not work problems.

[Tinie]

I think she likes you. Why else would she have bothered to clarify that the guy she's going with is not her boyfriend?

[Pistol pete]

I know that it would seem obvious with the boyfriend comment, however it's hard to tell because of her personality.

 

As I say she is naturally a very friendly person and.. it's hard to explain really, has a sort of ditzyness/ clumsiness about her, which is quite endearing really.. but makes it hard to tell if she says things on purpose, or because she has her foot in her mouth and just says things in ways she doesn't mean them to sound lol

 

Another example from last night, she was leaving with two younger girls in the office (which she always does.. and also goes out every lunch time with them) and she gave a general goodbye to everyone, then turned to me especially and said, 'have a good night' and smiled. As they walked away I heard them talking (I have amazing hearing), and her saying, as in retrospectively... '..have a good night.. ughh, that sounds a bit weird...'

 

Again, not really clear how she means to say things.. whether she was regretting not saying something better maybe or as I say, maybe she has momentarily got her foot stuck in her mouth.

 

Also, from overhearing some conversations yesterday, it appears as though she only intends to live in the area for a year or so. She has moved down here recently from a nearby city, maybe 40 mins drive distance... her friends here say, 'oh you should stay around here', but she seems quite adamant about moving back, despite also saying.. things could change I guess..

 

Hmmm

[road]

Stop shooting blanks.

 

You find her attractive, she is sending signals, are you gay?

 

Again if she is someone that you think can be a good wife ask her out.

 

You are worried about her moving away. She may want to stay for the right man. You may wind up willing to follow her.

[Pistol pete]

Little bit of an update

 

Since my last update the same sort of thing has been going on, we've been chatting at work and sharing a few jokes etc.

 

Anyways last night there was a work trip to a restaurant as someone was leaving.. I and the three other girls I sit with had decided that as we weren't hugely keen on a lot of the other staff, if one of us went, we'd all go.

 

Me being the smooth operator I am.. suggested that one of the girls text me as they all got to the venue so I wasn't stuck on my own with these other people... hoping that the one I am interested in would volunteer hers. Which she immediately did. So I now have her number..

 

I got a text from her to say that everyone was inside now, and I said I was just on my way.. get inside the venue and the other two girls had bailed on the event.. so I got to sit next to her all night. We chatted together all night and had a nice time.

 

At the end of the evening, our female line manager asked her how she was getting home and would she like a lift. Which she replied, 'ohh it's ok, I don't want to put you out.' To which I then said, I don't mind giving you a lift, I'm kinda going that way. She immediately said 'ok, if you're sure you don't mind.'

 

Anyways we again, had a good laugh on the way home.. I was relying on her for directions as I didn't really know the area.. turns out she wasn't that hot on it either.. after getting a tad lost, I said for her to get my sat nav out the glove box... As I was setting it up, she was having a quick browse through my cds in there, I guess to see what of music I liked, so I'm guessing she must have felt fairly comfortable lol.

 

Anyways I dropped her off and mid-way through my journey home I got a text from her saying 'thanks again for the lift, hope you got to wherever you were going safely. Sorry I was so rude, would you like some money for the lift'. I text her back that it was cool and not to worry.

 

I'm starting to think now that this girl may actually like me... but it's going to be hard to find that right moment/situation to actually act on it. I feel there's a momentum at the moment and if possible, I should capitalise on it.

 

Now that I have her number, allbeit from a stroke of luck rather than directly asking for it etc.. would it be weird if I casually text her at the weekend or something?