powershot20 Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 My wife is from Smith County, Tennessee. She moved to Los Angeles County, California (where im from and reside now). She wants to go back to Tennessee. Fast city life isn't what she wanted afterall which is fine because in my opinion California has gone to pot as it is. But thats besides the point. Point of it all is.... I'm black.. shes white.. we're going to try and move back to Tennessee but I'm scared like whoa! I go to Tennessee quiet often to visit her relatives etc. Her family had a big problem with it until they met me. Now I'm just concerned with the rest of the state. I've gotten hard looks from being with her.. Also got asked where I was from which seem to fix it with a few chuckles (someone told me Californians = Aliens). Like I said I visit alot. Its just visiting and staying to establish "HOME" is another page. I know alot of it matters of us being happy and love etc etc. But I'm concerned about it. California has its problems with race but its California. Its just Tennessee I've heard: 1) Its fine just stay away from the small cities. 2) Work will be harder to find (I work in Information Technology) 3) Interracial couples are fine in Knoxville, Nashville... stay away from Crossville. 4) Tennessee is getting better its mainly the older generation that has issues. etc etc etc Maybe I'm stupid for posting this but I'm just concerned. I understand California has its places most white people wouldn't visit, and I darn well wouldn't visit myself. But still I'm just unsure.... I know mixed couples there.. and they say everythings fine. But I take it as they've grown up in it.. They know how to deal with it. Me I know how to deal with people of every color and not care. Steer me in the right direction... or some insight someone. Sorry if I sound racial, offensive or run-on. Thanx Mikey Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Mikey, I wish I could tell you that you have nothing to worry about. And you wouldn't if you where moving to my home town. But as far as Tennessee, I don't know. There are a lot of people that are still ignorant out there. I wish you the best of luck, and you are welcome to move here if you wish!!! You'd be alot closer to her relatives than you are now. Good Luck!! Moose Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 What luck! I'm FROM Tennessee. I'm homesick everyday of my life too. It's a wonderful place! I would go back in a skinny minute too!!! Don't worry about a thing. It's a different place than the one I remember from childhood, and even then, waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy long ago, I don't remember any true and actual mistreatment of a person based on their color. The most racial bias I remember is the older folks saying things like, "he's a real nice fella even if he is a negrah". (Like, what the hell does that mean????) And today, Tennessee has become very diverse. There are Laotion kids getting into street-gang type trouble in my home town. Now if a person can move there from Laos, you can certainly move there from California! lololol You can remove the girl from Tennessee, but you'll never remove Tennessee from the girl. I'll be a Tennessean until I die no matter where I am. More importantly you love your wife, and that's where she got her 'home-training'. So how bad could it be? There are so many wonderful people there, and it is SOOOOOOOOOOO much cheaper than living in California. And if you have any other doubts, think on this.........The most loved citizen in the state of Tennessee is............Steve McNair. Gawd! That is the most awsome man!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Don't let the media be your education of the south!! They are never going to let us move on. Now I (I'm a Bama Belle) will say, the people in their 80's here are still in the old mindframe (my grandmother included) they honestly don't mean to be cruel, it was how they were raised. However, this mindframe doesn't exist in the mainstream....come on down to the south....it's more laid back and get ready to have a favorite SEC team (I know you are in TN but you should cheer for BAMA...repeat after me.....ROLL TIDE!! )....... Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Tennessee born and raised here. A few miles south of Nashville. You may want to steer clear of the smaller cities like Crossville if you don't want the "looks". Maybe compromise and stay close to the Metropolitan type areas that are more accepting. Nashville, Knoxville, Memphis, Chattanooga...you know. I know Cookeville's close to Crossville, but don't know how accepting they are there. We call those folks "Mountain People". Theys crazy. Rutherford County is growing like wildfire. Murfreesboro is up for going metropolitan....as I saw on the news. But really, we're not THAT bad! The doctor that I work for is in an interracial relationship with his wife (who also works here). People don't stare at them....we are always out and about and I've never noticed it. Give TN a chance! Link to post Share on other sites
Author powershot20 Posted September 22, 2004 Author Share Posted September 22, 2004 Well I guess thats may main concern. People raised in the old belief its wrong. Last thing I want is to be confront with it. But I know its not just older people too. Could be 30s, and 40s... This guy in a resturant I went to was sitting at the bar style seating... and he pretty much turned around alot and stared which makes me feel funny and yes I know South Carthage is a small city... but my wife is from there and so is her family. I cant just not go there anymore. But the thing is I could go to Cracker Barrel or Chilli's in Big Cities and its like I got green polka-dot skin. I guess it doesnt help me being black with most of her all white family. Makes it uncomfortable. But the good part of it all is I love being in Tennessee Its pretty and a great place for photograhy.. and actually has all the seasons! Its just sad I have to worry about it. Mostly her dad is ready to pull out his shotgun if anyone gives us any sort of grief with his kids (wife and i). I got all of her families backing. I dont know I sound like a derranged little sissy. I guess I just need to do it and see. Ill have to purchase Carl Walther P99 for extra support in the "I think we're in a tight spot boys" situation hehe. Thanx guys...... Any other comments? Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 I say F*CK EM. Live your life how you want to live. They gotta get over sooner or later, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Author powershot20 Posted September 22, 2004 Author Share Posted September 22, 2004 Originally posted by tikibrandy I know Cookeville's close to Crossville, but don't know how accepting they are there. We call those folks "Mountain People". I've been to alot of small towns in Tenn tho.. i heard stay away from Lynchberg....my wifes mom, and father mentioned something about a klan in Crossville.. and just to drive thru it. Crossville is after Cookeville but before Knoxville I believe. But they said they are mountaineers too.. they scare most people in Tenn as it is. I think they also said stay away from Lynchberg.. I'm fine with Murfeesboro, Lebanon, Cookeville, Mt Juliet, Carthage, Gordonsville.... I'm not to worried about klans... Cant be any worse then gangs heres. But just people in general.. Anymore incite ? Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Anymore incite ? Ummm...yeah...just remember it's ROLL TIDE NOT Go Vols!! Okay?? I think you can have prejudice anywhere...there are some places in the north and midwest that are way more prejudice than the south (I've heard this from a friend of mine that has an interracial child).....the Klan isn't as big in the south anymore as it is in places like the midwest....they watch them very carefully around here..... So move on over this way and remember it's ROLL TIDE!! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Klans? C'mon now! No way! We're Tennessee, not Hell! I've not heard of such a thing! God, it almost sounds like they're TRYING to scare you?! It's totally fine where I live (Smyrna), I swear to ya. I wouldn't live here if it weren't. There are some people that are prejudiced, but you get that anywhere. And racial prejudice shows naivety, true? Come one, come all. Tennessee is an awesome place to live. And we have the Nissan plant here by the way. IT people are needed in places like that too ya know! Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Most people think that the south is pretty racially charged, but for the most part, I don't think it is. Charleston, WV is really laid back. No one here cares what color who is. Suprising, huh? Anyway Mikey, I don't think that you will have any trouble. I don't think that there is much to worry about. Yes, there are stupid rednecks, but if TN is anything like WV, everyone just ignores them, or makes fun of them. We had a Klan march through Clarksburgh a while back, and everyone booed them, and threw things at them. Cheers Mikey, don't be afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author powershot20 Posted September 22, 2004 Author Share Posted September 22, 2004 alrighty, thnx guys! i feel alot better honestly! Link to post Share on other sites
Author powershot20 Posted September 22, 2004 Author Share Posted September 22, 2004 Originally posted by tikibrandy It's totally fine where I live (Smyrna), I swear to ya. Smyrna is nice! I like it there too Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Smyrna is the bomb yo! Right between Murfreesboro and Nashville. Love it! Born and raised here...never going away. Well, until Hawaii calls my name, then it'd be a different story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author powershot20 Posted September 22, 2004 Author Share Posted September 22, 2004 Originally posted by tikibrandy Smyrna is the bomb yo! Right between Murfreesboro and Nashville. Love it! Born and raised here...never going away. Well, until Hawaii calls my name, then it'd be a different story. Ya sometimes the mrs and I visit the little putt putt/go-part place in murfeesboro.. i think its next to a hotel.. right off whatever freeway oops EXCUSE ME ahem INTERSTATE... lol that goes thru Smyrna/Mufeesboro. p.s. I'm a youngin... only 21... so I thought my the next 20-40 years in Tenn... would be hell.. But i guess not. Link to post Share on other sites
Starbuck Queen Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Hi Didn't know there were so many people from TN! I'm from memphis. You would not have a prob here b/c there are tons of interracial couples. No one really bats an eye. Knoxville isn't bad, but they probably were looking at you funny b/c they don't see a lot of black people in certain places. Although you would not have many probs in Memphis, it is still a racially charged atmosphere. Meaning most churches,neighborhoods, etc are still segregated. But love conquers all, doesn't it? As long as you and your SO are confidenbt in your relationship you can ignore the idiots wherever you live. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Memphis. Wonderful city. I think you two would like it there. And it is 'Go Vols'. Dammit. -DA Link to post Share on other sites
Nosmas Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Tennessee but I'm scared like whoa! Mikey, I'd be scared to. But then....... look at Derangedangel's avitar..............they even have green people in TN!! (Ok Deranged, I like the new look) I'm afraid there's a lot to be afraid of when you leave where your used to living (even if where you're used to is CA). Racial bias is something that you have conquered with your spouse's family, and you will no doubt conquer it among others in TN where you will make new friends. BTW: I'm sure your wife has some more than small amount of trepidation (black women in TN might not like seeing you with her). Link to post Share on other sites
Urban Rubble01 Posted September 26, 2004 Share Posted September 26, 2004 Hey man. I've been in an interracial relationship for a little over 3 years (we're currently slowing things down and taking a break, the story is in the 2nd chances forum, a thread called "Questions on a 3 year relationship...). She's Cambodian, I'm white. Now, when I say Cambodian, I mean really Cambodian. Her skin is darker than most African Americans, alot of people assume she's black. We live in Seattle, which is fine, totally liberal, but my family is from Georgia. She has come out there with me twice. We get alot of looks, but I've never had any real comments, then again, we've only been down there for a couple weeks at a time. Up here we also get the occasional look when we're in our home town (rural Washington), but again, most people are too chicken**** to say anything. I've had a few confronatations, but usually it's me instigating it when people are obviously staring. I find that most people in the South are genuinely hateful in their racism, it's just ignorance. A line from a song I like goes: So just think it through Hatred is the stillborn child of ignorance and boredom Such a narrow view These seeds of tolerance are sewn by those who can afford them And I find that to be true. The majority of those kinds of people are just ignorant, not geniunely bad people. So do what we do, don't worry about it. Don't let it bother you. If someone says something by all means, say something back, but if they're just staring, brush it off. Be cool to people and you might just change their beliefs about other races. Link to post Share on other sites
Author powershot20 Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 And I find that to be true. The majority of those kinds of people are just ignorant, not geniunely bad people. So do what we do, don't worry about it. Don't let it bother you. If someone says something by all means, say something back, but if they're just staring, brush it off. Be cool to people and you might just change their beliefs about other races. Whats sad is I come from an area... you just look @ someone to long and its all over. And I dont even live in the worst part of L.A. I'll have to brush it off to the best of my ability there. I dont take confrontations to well... in CA. I dont think Ill take them to well there either. Though I wont be looking for trouble. But Im sure Ill be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author powershot20 Posted September 27, 2004 Author Share Posted September 27, 2004 Anyone think I'd get hell for people knowing @ work im married to another human... or im sorry white girl Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Urban...I am in GA. too.... So Urban may agree with me on this..... most people will just stare, they will not say or do anything, just stare... When I first moved to GA in 1991, I actually had people ask me if I had a green card, if I picked onions in the onion fields....because I moved here from New Mexico.... (I am polish,swedish,dutch,finis,german,irish) I still ponder to this day why I would need a green card? Link to post Share on other sites
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