LizardNoyce Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 I have been struggling with this situation for weeks, trying to find an alternative but I finally accept that I am jealous of my boyfriends cat. I don't know why it bothers me so much but, when I find him paying more attention to his cat while completely ignoring me just gets under my skin. I love the cat, don't get me wrong but I have huge resentment towards him. My boyfriend doesn't deny that he loves him more that me (yeah I have asked, but tried to be nonchalant about it). He plays with him and is crabby at me. He willingly takes pictures with him while I have to beg him for an hour to take one with me. He's told me his cat has been there for him more at some points than I have. I always feel like I'm competing for his love, even though I was here long before the cat ever came around. Am I just being silly or can anybody see where I'm coming from? If so, how do I bring it up without looking like a big psycho? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 You don't. You go AWOL and dump his pathetic @ss. A CAT!? More important than I am?? Get the hell outta here! I want at least equal billing - but to be TOLD the cat matters more? Oh phukkofff!! Link to post Share on other sites
JessieJ08 Posted April 29, 2013 Share Posted April 29, 2013 I don't know Thats hard I guess I would bring up like not so much about the cat like dont focus on that as much but be like why do i have to beg you to take Pics and use the cat as an example. Sorry thats prob worse Idk but he may turn it into you being jealous of a cat when its just he treats a animal better then you. I get what your saying I would be like bringing up like why do you treat a pet better then me let him know how it makes you feel. I never had anyone choose a pet or make me feel a pet was better but if I did I would def say your not treating me right if thats the case and if they acted like my feelings were not valid I wouldn't waste my time. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I don't know Thats hard I guess I would bring up like not so much about the cat like dont focus on that as much but be like why do i have to beg you to take Pics and use the cat as an example. Sorry thats prob worse Idk but he may turn it into you being jealous of a cat when its just he treats a animal better then you. I get what your saying I would be like bringing up like why do you treat a pet better then me let him know how it makes you feel. I never had anyone choose a pet or make me feel a pet was better but if I did I would def say your not treating me right if thats the case and if they acted like my feelings were not valid I wouldn't waste my time. Three words: PUNK - CHEW - ATE!! (Punctuate!!) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LizardNoyce Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 Thanks dude! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Get off my **** dude if you have no advice. Thanks! I ****ing gave you advice. Ditch this guy. Anyone who prioritises a pet over me, has some serious issues. Are you honestly willing to take second place to a cat? That's what you're asking, isn't it? Whether it's right, and whether he's wrong? I think he's waay wrong - and you need to up your own importance. Why ask for advice then be so rude? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LizardNoyce Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 I'm sorry I thought you were being sarcastic! You don't think I should ask him about it first...? I feel really dumb about this whole thing. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 No, I really don't. He was being extremely rude - I can see how you would be confused by his actions if you like him a lot - but if you take a step back - look at your post as if your best friend had written to you looking for advice.... Wouldn't you be infuriated on her behalf? That's just insulting.... My boyfriend doesn't deny that he loves him more that me (yeah I have asked, but tried to be nonchalant about it). He plays with him and is crabby at me. He willingly takes pictures with him while I have to beg him for an hour to take one with me. He's told me his cat has been there for him more at some points than I have. I always feel like I'm competing for his love, even though I was here long before the cat ever came around. Really? You don't find this completely outrageous? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 The solution for everything most women on this forum give is to "just leave". 90% of the issues are responded with "leave his ass!" Honestly its a cat, your jealous of a pet. I think that's a little ridiculous. Just forget about it... Should be a non issue. How long have you been dating ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Read the post. She's jealous of a pet her BF has already indicated is more important to him than she is. Why the hell should she put up with that? if you had a GF and she had a pet rat or pot-bellied pig, that she felt was more important to her, than you are - and told you so - tell me, what would you do? Apart from making a stew, that is? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Read the post. She's jealous of a pet her BF has already indicated is more important to him than she is. Why the hell should she put up with that? if you had a GF and she had a pet rat or pot-bellied pig, that she felt was more important to her, than you are - and told you so - tell me, what would you do? Apart from making a stew, that is? At least the cat is alive. I love my guitar (my specific heirloom from my father and his brother that died) more than I love a recent girlfriend. Its possible to have BOTH you know. Just because he loves the cat, doesn't mean he doesn't love her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LizardNoyce Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 I know it's ridiculous, believe me. Why do you think I haven't said anything to him? I need a second opinion. Being a girl, my natural instinct is to get jealous. He has more pics of his cat than he does me. He buys it **** on a daily basis. I'm lucky If I get lunch lol. I'm just saying I think it's a little weird I feel I have to compete with the damn thing. If there wasn't a reason to, I wouldn't be feeling this way... Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I think it's weird that he's that involved with a cat irrespective of any comparison to you. Cats are aloof and independent creatures that come and go as the please and feign attachment when they want to be fed or petted. Even guys that like cats aren't typically in relationships with them- they just let them hang around and catch mice. But he's got a relationship with the cat and just lets you hang around! Seems like he's confused about some primary stuff. If you hear the cat screaming and he tries to get you to go out and catch some mice... DUMP HIM! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LizardNoyce Posted May 1, 2013 Author Share Posted May 1, 2013 The funny thing is, the whole family is bonkers for this cat while I'm just sitting there like, eh. Im more of a bird person anyway but they give me crap for not liking it when he goes after my birds and tries to bite them. He just doesn't understand why I get mad. So I stop talking about it lol. I have to deal with the stupid thing for 10+ years, might as well get use to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I think you should buy yourself a dog. I bet the cat will not bother you anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LizardNoyce Posted May 1, 2013 Author Share Posted May 1, 2013 That's what I was thinking!! But with my current living situation I can't have one Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I know it's ridiculous, believe me. Why do you think I haven't said anything to him? I need a second opinion. Being a girl, my natural instinct is to get jealous. He has more pics of his cat than he does me. He buys it **** on a daily basis. I'm lucky If I get lunch lol. I'm just saying I think it's a little weird I feel I have to compete with the damn thing. If there wasn't a reason to, I wouldn't be feeling this way... Huh? Do people in your family or social circle put women down? Where does this nonsense about 'being a girl' comes from? I think what you are is extremely indecisive. Take charge of your own life woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 At least the cat is alive. I love my guitar (my specific heirloom from my father and his brother that died) more than I love a recent girlfriend. Its possible to have BOTH you know. Just because he loves the cat, doesn't mean he doesn't love her. Sounds like you should be dumped too. Loving an object or an animal more than a human being doesn't bode well for one's interpersonal relationships. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Yeah, every time he pays more attention to the cat - question his sexuality. Or simply dismiss it with "God, you're such a...'girl' sometimes....! Have you any idea how pathetic you sound?" And sneer and shake your head at him. He may well do you the extraordinarily wonderful favour of dumping you - then you will be free to focus on finding a guy who prefers your pussy to his cat. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Your guy needs to sprout a set and quit acting like a woman whose built her whole life around a stupid cat. I know, right? Yet try to post this anywhere else on LS and you will get abuse from people who put animals above their fellow human beings. I love animals. All sorts. I used to work in national park in Africa amongst wild animals. This pet-loving, freaky stuff that Westerners get obsessed with is so unnatural. Some people seriously need to get out more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LizardNoyce Posted May 1, 2013 Author Share Posted May 1, 2013 Thanks for all your help guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Dusk1983 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 The solution for everything most women on this forum give is to "just leave". 90% of the issues are responded with "leave his ass!" Yep, and you know what? They never do... Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I know it's ridiculous, believe me. Why do you think I haven't said anything to him? I need a second opinion. Being a girl, my natural instinct is to get jealous. He has more pics of his cat than he does me. He buys it **** on a daily basis. I'm lucky If I get lunch lol. I'm just saying I think it's a little weird I feel I have to compete with the damn thing. If there wasn't a reason to, I wouldn't be feeling this way... I have a hard time believing a guy buys a cat things on a daily basis. Link to post Share on other sites
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