sweetpea01 Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Hi, Okay...any input would be totally appreciated. My bf cheated on me after a yr of being together. So, we broke up and I eventually took him back. And I love him, I really do...but for SOME reason, I feel entitled to be a little bit less great as a gf. I even slept with my ex bf a few times after getting back with my ex, but I DID let him know that I was seeing other ppl. So....how did I go from THE most faithful girl alive to this half-ass gf I am now. I absolutely don't cheat on him, but from time to time I entertain the thought. Like, if I'm out and I see a gorgeous guy, I think to myself...is one kiss that bad? And it IS! I KNOW it is...but I don't know how to go back to that place where cheating was just the unthinkable. What is wrong with me?!? Sweetpea Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 If I understand it correctly, you did sleep with an old BF after you took your current BF back, but you told your current BF that you weren't exclusive to him anymore and you were seeing other people. Assuming that to be the case, I don't think you've done anything wrong. You laid it out for him when you took him back, and told him that you're not willing to be exclusive to him. And you haven't been. He accepted that, so as far as I'm concerned, you're pretty much free to do what you want. As for your thoughts about what constitutes cheating, I've had the same thoughts. Since I learned who my TBXW really was, I've wondered if a kiss is cheating. I've thought about the nature of what I learned and wondered, "OK, what if she'd only given head a few times? Would I be devastated? Or received head?" But what I kept coming back to was, it's all a question of respect and what's acceptable. If I were in a relationship right now, I would consider everything starting with kissing to be unacceptable. To do so when you're committed to somebody else demonstrates a fundamental lack of respect. But, the fact that you're wondering about this doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It doesn't sound as though you've stopped thinking cheating is unthinkable... it's just that your world has been shaken by what your BF did and you're questioning a lot of things, including what constitutes cheating. So, don't be so hard on yourself, take precautions as you continue to "not be exclusive", and invest some time in figuring out what YOU want and what makes YOU happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Crux- Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Your situation and your feeling is understandable but if you did cheat on him after you were with him....Walk..... When you took him back you should have dropped the past and resumed your faithfulness to him (hoping that he would return the favor...Not destroying it completely...) If you haven't cheated on him but are thinking about? Ask yourself the question why are you thinking about it now..Find the answer for yourself... It is natural to admire other people but to seriously debate betraying the person your in "love with" is simply wrong. Stop crupting yourself and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
iceprincess Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Well...it seems like you only took him back so you could get back at him (sleeping with your EX BF and letting your current boyfriend know about it). I wouldn't have taken that bastard back if I were you, but you did, so I think that the best thing to do right now is to COMMIT yourself to being that same girl. If you feel that you could never trust him the same again, then drop him because there's no point in being in a relationship if you have thoughts about other males. I think that you're at a point right now where you can move on, so try new things! You're a good person, stay strong! Good luck. *hug* Link to post Share on other sites
mudobber Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 I would seriously suggest cleaning yourself up and taking a serious look around for a husband. All these games that you are playing is a waste of time compared to building an eternal relationship with someone with vows to take good care of each other. Don’t deny yourself the best that this world has to offer. Sever all sexual relations, get in shape, become the most beautiful you can be and snag the nicest financially responsible guy that you can find. Then those sweet kisses of yours will really mean something! Link to post Share on other sites
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