USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I guess my definition of "wooing" is taking good care of my pets while I go on vacation to Europe, or bringing me a box of pads if I realize I stupidly let myself run out. That's how a guy can REALLY impress me and capture my heart. Clearly you identify the most with acts of service, which both of those things are. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I used to be ALL ABOUT the woo. Now it just makes me laugh and feel scorn for a guy who would attempt it. So you don't think it's like in Hokie's post above yours? Just an expression of affection or appreciation? Just curious, I have my own definition. It's consistent with the love language theory...there will be languages that you like and languages that you don't. If someone tries to "woo" you the wrong way, you won't respond well... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 It's consistent with the love language theory...there will be languages that you like and languages that you don't. If someone tries to "woo" you the wrong way, you won't respond well... I used to like the "wooing" that Star Gazer is talking about. The romantic stuff. I don't anymore about that. It's not my cup of tea. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Woo comes once you're actually dating, to me. So, interest is already established. And this is the main point of the thread. The woo isn't something you do to get her to date you. When most people think of woo, it's supposed to turn an uninterested girl into one who is willing to give you a chance. But you are talking about something completely different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Wooing = To seek the affection of with intent to romance. Wooing is the slippery, occasionally delicious, but more often infuriating exercise between being attracted to someone and dating that person. I don't 'woo'. I say, "yo homeboy! Do you wanna go out sometime or what!?". Kidding... I've never actually said that. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 woo (verb) Try to gain the love of (someone, typically a woman), esp. with a view to marriage. Seek the favor, support, or custom of: "pop stars are wooed by film companies". This indicates to me that one person/entity has clear interest in interacting with another person/entity for either sole or mutual benefit. The interest of the party being 'woo'ed' appears to be/may be considered to be unknown. I've found this 'unknown' part to be particularly prevalent in romance, as one may perceive 'signs' of mutual interest but true/lasting interest is largely unknown to the party 'wooing' until well into the interaction, if at all. Personally, I've seen a lot of what USMCHokie referenced as 'love languages' in practice. Each person is different in how they perceive the actions and interest of another. 'Woo' to one person may be completely different from 'woo' to another person. As an example, a person may perceive 'acts of service' as meaningless wrt 'woo', but respond positively to 'words of affirmation' and, as another poster mentioned, 'swoon'. In the classic sense, as other posters noted, 'woo' has largely disappeared. I was recently watching Cornel Wilde 'woo' Gene Tierney in 'Leave Her to Heaven', while she was engaged to Vincent Price, which was a great example of the classic 'woo', scripted for the screen. They didn't ride off happily into the sunset but that is what makes films interesting. Myself, I abandoned the classic 'woo' after getting too many laughs in my face in my 20's. I kind of miss that part of myself but realize there's no use in approaching interpersonal relations in a demonstrated unproductive way. I had to grow up and become a pragmatist, which is what most men are, but still admire the guys who can pull off the 'woo' with success. Good for them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tuxedo cat Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 That movie makes me tear up. I want that. I wonder if such a guy is possible in reality. I also wonder if such a guy would have pursued her as heavily had she not been so hard to get. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I certainly believe in wooing but I am not standing outside with a boombox for anybody. I would get the cops called on me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BoneyHadger Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Not sure about what exactly constitutes wooing, but as I'm reading some description, I might've done some of it in the past and it did indeed work, even on young girls (18-21). But whatever it is, I'm pretty sure you don't woo a woman who's not interested in you to change her mind, but you do the one who is to make it known she made good choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 LOVE the 'woo' (though honestly, when I glanced at your thread title, I thought you were talking about something else entirely! ) I think different people have different preferences for what it entails though. The sort of 'woo' that might sweep other ladies off their feet might bore me, and vice versa. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 LOL at the bolded. Sorry, hun. I inspire myself to be amazing. My girlfriend's presence in my life is simply an extension of my own amazingness that was present before her and will be present way after her. when you inspire yourself to be amazing...bit of an ego trip....arrogance seems to come into play...when someone else inspires you to be amazing .......humility comes into it because of that persons belief in you...not the belief in yourself...but someone believes in you enough, to want to inspire you...is humbling.....many men have inspired me....not all dates or relationships...but teachers , friends, even people who havent liked me have inspired me......and yes lovers.....they have inspired me by their belief in me thinking i can do what i think i cant .......also comes into wooing i guess......inspiration....respect...humility...and loving someone enough to put yourself out there and show it even with the possibility of not being appreciated or possibly rejected...its kamikaze city....being wooed also means showing the love back....or the wooing becomes pointless and should stop if unappreciated......that should be the inspiration......to inspire one another.....not just yourself.............deb Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Obviously, the first step is choosing a woman who inspires you to woo! I've been thinking about woo, and the chase. It's not about chasing someone who is running away. It's about chasing a feeling, chasing butterflies, chasing the swoon. It should have effects the man can appreciate. And it never gets old. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Why do some women expect to be wooed? Same reason that men do the things they do: because they can. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Why do so many women feel they should wooed just because they have a vagina? Sorry it takes more than that for me because all women have vaginas I think it goes both ways. I used my bf and the pillows as an example of how he "wooed" me, well I "wooed" him as well....I noticed he didn't have coasters on his coffee table when I was setting down a drink, asked for one and he said he didn't have any, so next time *I* came over, I showed up with a set of coasters I picked up for him when I was at Target! so I don't think it's just a guys job. He probably would have stopped if there was no reciprocation and only appreciation...which I wouldn't blame him or any guy for. It's fun to do nice things for someone you are excited about Of course it doesn't have to be material things, but these are just 2 examples that popped into my mind about our early dating days. (and they certainly weren't extravagent or expensive purchases) Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 As far as love languages...I'm not too versed on that, but if one is verbal affirmation, mine is that. Not gifts. It wasn't a gift that made me feel special, it was the thought behind it, the fact that it was for ME specifically..not just something you could pass on to any chick you are dating ya know? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I think it goes both ways. I used my bf and the pillows as an example of how he "wooed" me, well I "wooed" him as well....I noticed he didn't have coasters on his coffee table when I was setting down a drink, asked for one and he said he didn't have any, so next time *I* came over, I showed up with a set of coasters I picked up for him when I was at Target! so I don't think it's just a guys job. He probably would have stopped if there was no reciprocation and only appreciation...which I wouldn't blame him or any guy for. It's fun to do nice things for someone you are excited about Of course it doesn't have to be material things, but these are just 2 examples that popped into my mind about our early dating days. (and they certainly weren't extravagent or expensive purchases) If that's wooing, then why all the hubla about this thread. It's just being sweet and thoughtful to your partner. Isn't that stuff standard? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 If that's wooing, then why all the hubla about this thread. It's just being sweet and thoughtful to your partner. Isn't that stuff standard? Sadly, some people are never particularly thoughtful and sweet. And others get lazy and stop being thoughtful and sweet after the newness wears off. Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Obviously, the first step is choosing a woman who inspires you to woo! That's a whole topic of discussion by itself! In my last post I kind of came down on women for considering simple thoughtful behavior to be "wooing" in the '80s sense. The idea of waiting for and recognizing being INSPIRED by a woman is an area where I think men now fall short. If you naturally attract a lot of women, it doesn't matter if you "woo" -- you can do whatever is easiest. If you struggle with attracting women, it's easy to obsess about "catching up" in the attraction game and trying to adopt tactics that will give you a chance to catch up in as short of a time as possible. Chances are that classic "wooing" will not be among those tactics. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Not sure on the spelling, but a "woo" was a character in this play my class did in 2nd grade. There were actually two woos. As good as my memory typically is, I can't remember for the life of me the name of the play... Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Obviously, the first step is choosing a woman who inspires you to woo! I've been thinking about woo, and the chase. It's not about chasing someone who is running away. It's about chasing a feeling, chasing butterflies, chasing the swoon. It should have effects the man can appreciate. And it never gets old. The second step is choosing a woman who wants to be wooed by you. Link to post Share on other sites
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