msalek89 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Hey everyone. Well my ex bf and I broke up about 5 months ago. I broke up with him in the heat of the moment. I always used to do this and he would always come back but this time he didn’t. I tried to fix things for 2 weeks after the break up but nothing worked out. I decided to give him his space and focus on myself. This whole time he has always been in touch with me. He is usually texting me and asking me to hang out, but I’ve been avoiding him. I guess I have been listening to the wrong advice and letting my pride take over. For these 5 months my head has been all screwed up since I didn’t get any closure from him and since I don’t know how he feels or what his intentions might be. However, I have decided to just go with my gut now and try to get him back. I won’t deny that I am scared to get rejected and then have to build myself up again but if I don’t try one more time I won’t be able to live with this. My concern is just how do I start? I don’t want to throw things at him in one day. How can I show him that I want him back but at the same time not be pushy? Link to post Share on other sites
fayt67 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I think it's time for you to run back to him. What have you got to lose right? I think that if you shoot him a text and ask to talk about it then you'll find out. See where he stands and if he's in love with you then nothing will stand in the way good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 I think it's time for you to run back to him. What have you got to lose right? I think that if you shoot him a text and ask to talk about it then you'll find out. See where he stands and if he's in love with you then nothing will stand in the way good luck! Thanks for the response. Yea I plan to text him tomorrow but I don't know if I should ask him to hang out or just make up an excuse to pick up this suit case I have at his house and go from there. My problem is finding a way to approach him, after that I think I got it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Share Posted April 30, 2013 91 views and no one can help with an advice. Thanks everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Well, if you broke up with him, I would carefully explain how you made a mistake by breaking up, and how you have made changes, and how you will do things differently, and how much you love him. Be very genuine and be sure he understands that you are the one who screwed up. Then leave it to him. That's really all you can do. If he wants to try again, that is up to him. But if he let it go pretty easily already then I would probably just move on. If it's been 5 months, it's probably run it's course... Link to post Share on other sites
omit Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 the part were you say I used to always do this, might not be what you want to hear. I'm finding this one out my self and that's some times enough is enough, also comes a time were there is not a second chance. Loves a powerful emotion its not indestructible. Link to post Share on other sites
BustedUpInside Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I read this earlier but was trying to figure out the best way to phrase my response. I am torn over whether to tell you what I really think or just encourage you to do what you think is right. I have decided to do both. From what I think as an outsider is that you already made the right decision by ending things. They obviously weren't working and the only reason that you think you made a wrong decision is because you guys are still in contact and so you are reminded constantly about only the good things about your relationship. If you had a little space and got your head clear, I think it might be easier for you to see what you actually want rather than what you are used to. That being said, if you really want him back, my advice is to just take the plunge. Tell him you made the wrong call and you want to get back together. Take the pressure off yourself and share it with the person you want to be with. Maybe he wants the same thing and has just been too scared that you will reject him again to say anything... Either way, I hope you get the result that you want Link to post Share on other sites
fayt67 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Thanks for the response. Yea I plan to text him tomorrow but I don't know if I should ask him to hang out or just make up an excuse to pick up this suit case I have at his house and go from there. My problem is finding a way to approach him, after that I think I got it. I think getting straight to the point is the best way to go. If I was in your position i would probably text him asking to get together and talk but at the same time he might not want to see you because he could still be hurting. Don't beat around the bush it could only makes thing worst but its entirely up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 I broke up with him in the heat of the moment. I always used to do this How have you addressed this? Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Just curious of your age. Not to be rude but based on your OP, you seem quite young. In which case, move on and learn from your mistakes!! There will be many more chances at a successful LTR... Link to post Share on other sites
swiftly333 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Slowly start taking to him more, have him warm up to you again. If he seems interested, then you can talk to him about it, but don't rush right in. It takes longer to rebuild a new relationship with an ex then someone new because there is baggage there. you'll also have to show your ex that you have matured. A lot of people on here give bad advice. So many on here will discourage you. And to go "running back" isn't so ideal either, IMO. This is not a romcom and you'll have to appear more rational minded then that. Link to post Share on other sites
OwlSoul Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Yea I plan to text him tomorrow but I don't know if I should ask him to hang out or just make up an excuse Oh, I'd do the same what my ex did. He suddenly asked me out. Just a simple phrase 'Hey, I know it sounds a bit weird... but could we meet sometime?'. When I asked why, he explained that he was wrong, still loves me and etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Njeanne Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I broke up with him in the heat of the moment. I always used to do this and he would always come back but this time he didn’t. I only had to read this and thought I should address this. A relationship is not a game, you can't toy with someone's emotions and continue to break up only later to regret it and pretend it never was serious. I am sure he got sick of it, and he lost trust in you. Did you think he would keep coming back to a unstable person? I am sorry if this sounds rude, but... I am honest with what I read and imo you should stop acting immature and breaking up in heat of moment everytime, it will only lead to pain on your boyfriend's side. I've seen this happen to a old friend and trust me, she grew so sick of it she told him to grow up and kicked him out. >.> If you two ever have a serious chat, address this issue and use this time seperate to restore your self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Thanks for all the feedback. Here is an update... I decided to text him yesterday and asked him if he would like to go for some drinks. He accepted and we decided to see eahc other at his new place. I arrived and acted as normal as i could with him. I wanted to be myself and catch up. He talked pretty much about family, work and friends. Nothing about the past or crazy things that we have been doing these 6 months. I liked that because I felt like we were back to when we were friends. After about 2 hours of being there he got close to me and kissed me. Of course I kissed him back and we kept talking etc. I saw it was getting late so i told him i had to go, he offered for me to stay and i stayed. This morning we woke up late and we both had to go to work. We were in a hurry and it didnt feel right bringing things up in that moment. We walked downstairs and he told me he was going to text me when he got out of work. I said it was fine and i left. Around 4:30pm i text him saying "Hey, i know you are probably busy but i hope your day is going well If you are not doing anything tonight let me know so we can grab some dinner and drinks :D". He responded around 6:30 which is when he gets out of work saying "Hey sorry i didnt respond earlier i got to work late and it wasnt a good day but i am on my way to my parents and i got a lot of things to do so i dont think i can go out tonight." I wont denied i felt stupid but i reply saying "Okay dont worry about it, I understand... another day :)" and he didnt text back. My point was to be able to talk to him today and tell him that I would like a second chance. Now i have to just wait. I dont plan to reach out to him until the weekend, hopefully he doesnt have plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Wow thanks everyone for responding and most for being honest. I will admit it, i was stupid for playing those mind games and I know a reslationship is not a game and he is not a toy. I have been able to reflec on my mistakes and that is why I want to try again and show him that this will never happen again. Now its just pretty much up to him to decided. If you guys knew the whole story to our relationship you would understand why I acted this way. Pretty much he came from a really crazy relationship in which I saw him experience each and every single day because he was one of my roomates. That how he started to like me etc. But going back to make my point, I felt like that his past relationship some how stuck to me, i started acting like that girl and it was just nuts. I mean i wont just blame everything on my because he had his screw up moments too but me braking up with him over and over was my mistake and it now remains my punishment. I am scared of being rejected but I feel like i need to do this. Link to post Share on other sites
Lostint Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 It sounds promising. Take it slowly and try not to freak out when you don't hear back from him or he turns down an offer to meet. Think back to when you first started dating - try to be in that mindset as much as possible. The more you can feel confident in yourself, the better this will go. I know that's easier said than done. Link to post Share on other sites
Noma Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I don't know you or him personally, so I might not have the right view on this but here goes... You love him and want him back? Right?? You need to be sure about this! This is for keeps. Is this the person you see spending the rest of your life with? If so- tell him the next time you see him. Maybe not the part about spending the rest of your lives together, but tell him you would like to date again, be prepared to discuss mistakes made and tell him how you feel. I can almost bet that he feels scared and in limbo right now. You guys kissed and you both are wondering what that means. Limbo sucks. Sometimes necessary, but still sucks. Be sure in your head and heart before you do this. Then just DO IT! Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 It sounds promising. Take it slowly and try not to freak out when you don't hear back from him or he turns down an offer to meet. Think back to when you first started dating - try to be in that mindset as much as possible. The more you can feel confident in yourself, the better this will go. I know that's easier said than done. Yea that is what i need to work on. I need to take it back to when we were just friends and go from there. I was a bit bummed that I wasn't going to see him because honestly all I want is to know what he feels and wants, but i cant rush it. I am thinking about just waiting for the weekend to reach out to him and maybe I am able to see him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 I don't know you or him personally, so I might not have the right view on this but here goes... You love him and want him back? Right?? You need to be sure about this! This is for keeps. Is this the person you see spending the rest of your life with? If so- tell him the next time you see him. Maybe not the part about spending the rest of your lives together, but tell him you would like to date again, be prepared to discuss mistakes made and tell him how you feel. I can almost bet that he feels scared and in limbo right now. You guys kissed and you both are wondering what that means. Limbo sucks. Sometimes necessary, but still sucks. Be sure in your head and heart before you do this. Then just DO IT! I love him... and I want to be with him. I see myself with him. These 6 months I have dated and had my fun but he is always on my mind. I feel like he is the one. Then again he might think otherwise. But I know i made a mistake. I know i hurt him and that is why i want to make it up to him. I want to give it my best this time and make this relationship right. I know it will be hard work to rebuild everything again, but I am willing to do it, for him i am willing to. I just hope that I am not too late. Link to post Share on other sites
Noma Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 You need to tell him your intentions the next time you see him. Then take it slow from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 You need to tell him your intentions the next time you see him. Then take it slow from there. I will, hopefuly it don't wait long to see him again. I will keep you guys updated Link to post Share on other sites
Author msalek89 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Hey everyone... I was wondering if this would be appropiate. My client just gave me two tickets to this music festival that is happening this weeekend. I am planning on inviting him to go with me. Do you guys think thaat would be a good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts