amythan Posted April 30, 2013 Share Posted April 30, 2013 Hey, Today I am feeling the unluckiest person ever .. I met someone through work but he had a gf but it was clear we liked each other. After a few months I told him to contact me just when he wanted something with be. After one month NC he contacted me saying that he missed talking to me. We started talking again and he told me he is single now but still talking to his ex. I didn't want to keep around entertaining him and waiting until they get back together so I asked and we talked about what is going on between us, because it is clearly much much more that friendship .. His reply: "I like because you are very cool, and nice, and smart, and decent, and funny, and just and all round good person . The only thing which is stopping me being fully frank and honest with you is the situation I find myself with my ex. It's complicated because of history. That's not use to you, but all i can say is that if it weren't for that reason, i would have been booking flights and making up as many excuses as possible to go to see you." Great. Exactly what I thought. He was keeping me warm as a back up plan. What should I do now: Reply, disappear or keep on being friends ? I do not even know why he contacted me when I was so clear with him one month ago .. I am so freaking great that my feelings are irrelevant, right ? Link to post Share on other sites
baRx Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 i think you already answered your own question. you know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Country_Girl Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I unknowingly played the backup for longer than I care to admit. The bottom line is, if a guy wants you, he'll make the time for you/put a move on you because they won't want someone snatching you up. Your only chance at this is to disappear, and let him do the pursuing. If you're always the one to reach out, you'll stay on the back burner, where you simmer and he pursues other interests. Only to be warmed up when he needs an ego stroke, when the ones he is pursuing turns him down. I'm not about playing games, but when you're dealing with human psychology and the need to want something you can't have - sometimes you have to play the game. So I say, become scarce, don't be the option, let him wonder about you. Because as long as he knows you're there as an option, there you will stay. Be mysterious, if a person knows every detail of your life it doesn't probe them to look any further. Link to post Share on other sites
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