savethedrama4allama Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 My cousin just let me in on this situation in her life. I'd really like your advice. She and her boyfriend are in their mid-twenties, live together, and have been together for 4 or 5 years. Recently they went with a bunch of friends to a nearby city, partied it up at the clubs, and rented hotel rooms. My cousin and her boyfriend went to bed, she woke up an hour and he was no longer in bed. She got up and followed voices down the hall- he was with a bunch of their friends and also some strangers in another room, with the door open. Apparently parties had converged and it was all of their friends mingling with people she hadn't seen before. Anyway, my cousin peers around the corner to see her boyfriend complimenting a girls t!ts and a$$, and grabbing both of these regions. This girl was one of the strangers, not a friend. It appears that is all that happened between them. He did it in front of their mutual friends. One of their mutual friends caught my cousin's eye peering in and told her boyfriend he better go speak to my cousin in their room. So obviously my cousin feels disrespected and cheated on some level. Her boyfriend says he is sorry but also blames the alcohol- in my book, a lame excuse. I offered up my advice, but what do you think she should do? Link to post Share on other sites
humph.. Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 what a pig! he leaves his girlfriend sleeping and goes off to grope some girl in the next room????? If i were your cousin i'd tell him exactly what i thought of him...that he's disgusting and deceitful. How does she know he wont do it again when shes not around? She was in the next room! he did it infront of their friends! This guy has no shame if you ask me- he doesn't care about the consequences. Maybe she should ask him if he really wants to be groping other girls if they should be together after all..or maybe she should go and grope some guy and see how HE feels about it. Link to post Share on other sites
arcadia Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 let me tell you something that i truly believe.. some may not agree with me, but in my experience and experience with others i know this to be true. In most cases (i will exclude complete alchoholics, because i have never known one) alcohol does not take a person over and make them do things that is completely against their character. And if he was sober enough to speak clearly, then he was sober enough to know what the hell he was doing. I drink a lot.. and i get REALLY drunk a lot. and i have had people come on to me while drunk, and i still always know what is going on enough to know that i shouldn't do things i am not supposed to. I honestly believe that people who are social drinkers don't do things that they secretly didnt want to do already. just my opinion Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted September 22, 2004 Share Posted September 22, 2004 Depending on whether that was out of character or whether he is sorry he did it (not just sorry he got caught, if you can even tell the difference from the girlriend pov) then I'd forgive him. If this is just another thing to add to a list of indiscretions or supicions about his character, then I might, if I was her, consider finding a new man. Link to post Share on other sites
Crux- Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 I am only a socail drinker, sometimes more socail then I should be, But I belive when drinking you can see personal traits thay can tell you alot about a person. (if she or he is good or bad) Drinking to a degree provides you with an insight into a persons character. TEll her what you think of him or beter yet go partying with them and see how he is really like.. Anyone that leaves there girl aside by herself and gropes another is unrespectful and self centered (In short tell her to DICH THE A..Hole) As for what you can do, well You really can not do anything but give advice and watch your cousin walk or fall...(This is what I hate the most out of life) Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Give her a hug for me, that's gotta hurt. If my fiance did that, I'd probably send him home to his mamma's for a while so that I could clear my head. That's horribly disrespectful of him to do. If I was her, I'd wonder so many things: *Would he have told me if I haden't caught him? *Has he done this type of thing before? *If so, how many times? *Has he cheated on me? *Why did he feel the need to grope another girl when he could have just woken me up? *Would my friends have told me? *Has he done this before while my friends kept their mouths closed? He just seemed so sneaky the way you described it, STDFYM. That would put so many serious doubts in my head that I may be tempted to take a break, so that both of us could see other people and evaluate if we both even wanted to stay together. Happy men do not feel the need to grope other women. They are more respectful of their partners then that, and they would not use alcohol as an excuse for cheating on their girlfriends, because it never would have happened in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
DJ_Dork Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 It was just touching, too bad you had to see it. You can't see him 24/7 - maybe he touches a lot of girls without you knowing. Give him the good scolding lesson as you women love doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 It was just touching, too bad you had to see it. You can't see him 24/7 - maybe he touches a lot of girls without you knowing. Give him the good scolding lesson as you women love doing that. You need to get a grip. You sound bitter and angry at women in general. I can't imagine anyone anyone being "ok" with this type of behavior unless the relationship was not serious. I think that any man who acts this way is not worth a woman's time. As for a scolding, screw that! he needs to have his rear kicked to the curb. Link to post Share on other sites
Crux- Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 From what I have read from YellowLioness, She is a smart women and I would take her advice....You to DJ Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Well I'm going to be ignoring anything DORK has to say. He didn't even read the post closely enough to see that it was my COUSIN and not ME. And guess what, "women" don't like doing any one thing such as scolding. We're all different. So quit your overgeneralizations or at least keep them off my post. Furthermore, I sincerely hope that your girlfriend or whoever puts up with you goes grabbing some shlong this weekend. Let us know how you like it. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Awwww. That was nice of you. I don't really think I'm that smart. Being involved in postings with everyone at Love Shack has made me more logical in how I state things, is all. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts