bluecrabroll Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My ex may be messed in the head and hurt me, but I love her still (or loved her old self). Today was a little hard for me. I'm planning to move back home where we are from the same area and interviewing today for my new job and all I can think about is her and our plans/dreams that we had made together when this time came. My future changed; I'm not engaged, have to play the dating game again (eventually) and she is no longer part of my life (happy with someone else). I ultimately wish her the best and I want her happy but right now........ I want to hear some Karma stories!!!! I want to know that down the line there is some light to grab and maybe the ones that hurt you selfishly will get their fair share of the pain someday as well. Let me know if they end up begging to come back, apologize, or just end up worse than where you are now. Just this once and we can go back to being civil human beings that strive for neutrality. :p Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My friend is in her early 40's. She is struggling at work, her health is failing her, she has some mental health issues now: depression, anxiety. She's quite overweight and in her words isn't great in the looks dept. In her twenties she dumped her first love and bitterly regretted it. She then had a couple of flings after that but commitment wasn't on her mind. So she used one for a fling and then led the other one on. She looked the two flings up recently and saw how well they were doing. She wished she had taken it more seriously with one of them. but in her twenties she could not have known that about 15 years later she would still be alone with no partner no children and in a mess at work. This is why I never dump anyone who treats me well. As long as they are a good person, make me laugh, are kind and we get on well, there's chemistry, etc. I don't get why people are so picky and people end relationships for the most stupid reasons without even trying to make it work. You don't know what your future holds and while we would all like to tjknk everything will work out fine and we will be better, we May not be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My friend is in her early 40's. She is struggling at work, her health is failing her, she has some mental health issues now: depression, anxiety. She's quite overweight and in her words isn't great in the looks dept. In her twenties she dumped her first love and bitterly regretted it. She then had a couple of flings after that but commitment wasn't on her mind. So she used one for a fling and then led the other one on. She looked the two flings up recently and saw how well they were doing. She wished she had taken it more seriously with one of them. but in her twenties she could not have known that about 15 years later she would still be alone with no partner no children and in a mess at work. Selective memory... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My ex may be messed in the head and hurt me, but I love her still (or loved her old self). Today was a little hard for me. I'm planning to move back home where we are from the same area and interviewing today for my new job and all I can think about is her and our plans/dreams that we had made together when this time came. My future changed; I'm not engaged, have to play the dating game again (eventually) and she is no longer part of my life (happy with someone else). I ultimately wish her the best and I want her happy but right now........ I want to hear some Karma stories!!!! I want to know that down the line there is some light to grab and maybe the ones that hurt you selfishly will get their fair share of the pain someday as well. Let me know if they end up begging to come back, apologize, or just end up worse than where you are now. Just this once and we can go back to being civil human beings that strive for neutrality. :p Do you actually know what 'Karma' is (asked the irritated Buddhist, because she's ALWAYS having to correct people on their incorrect perception of what Karma actually is..... )...? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Golderz Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My ex dumped me and then quickly started seeing another guy. She strung me along for a while and then when I started to move on about 4 months down the line she came crawling back. I obviously wasn't interested. She contacted me recently (4 years on) and told me that she cheated on her long term boyfriend and in revenge he shredded all of her clothes. she's also fat now. I would like to say that I had the last laugh but my girlfriend of 5 years has just dumped me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
big bear Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Do you actually know what 'Karma' is (asked the irritated Buddhist, because she's ALWAYS having to correct people on their incorrect perception of what Karma actually is..... )...? Karma is not just a Buddhist concept. It has different interpretations in different cultures. And if you refer to Karma just as cause and effect, then it's viewing things very simplistically. It's akin to comparing it to the Newtonian Law of motion: "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." You are right most of the times, but on this you are a little less informed. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 My ex may be messed in the head and hurt me, but I love her still (or loved her old self). Today was a little hard for me. I'm planning to move back home where we are from the same area and interviewing today for my new job and all I can think about is her and our plans/dreams that we had made together when this time came. My future changed; I'm not engaged, have to play the dating game again (eventually) and she is no longer part of my life (happy with someone else). I ultimately wish her the best and I want her happy but right now........ I want to hear some Karma stories!!!! I want to know that down the line there is some light to grab and maybe the ones that hurt you selfishly will get their fair share of the pain someday as well. Let me know if they end up begging to come back, apologize, or just end up worse than where you are now. Just this once and we can go back to being civil human beings that strive for neutrality. :p After reading your story, dont worry there, Bluecrab..... THAT woman will NEVER be happy....EVER....She is a tortured individual and you are lucky to have gotten out alive. Rest assured. You can call her in 20 years from now and she will have gotten divorced at least twice, and been in and out of relationships like commuters at the turnstiles of Grand Central Station! TFY Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Karma is not just a Buddhist concept. It has different interpretations in different cultures. And if you refer to Karma just as cause and effect, then it's viewing things very simplistically. It's akin to comparing it to the Newtonian Law of motion: "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." You are right most of the times, but on this you are a little less informed. Agreed, but in no culture does it ever mean kick-ass revenge, come uppance retribution. Does it? Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Agreed, but in no culture does it ever mean kick-ass revenge, come uppance retribution. Does it? Or being happy about other people's misery. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) See this thread. Edited May 1, 2013 by TaraMaiden Link to post Share on other sites
big bear Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 You summed it perfectly there with, "Karma means that basically, you don't get away with anything. And it all counts." But here you are generalizing about Hinduism, The Caste system is a case in point. Hindus believe that if you are born into the lowest caste, then you have deserved it, and you need to accept your lot, know your place, stick to it, and hope for a better re-birth. For now, you are only good enough to sweep streets, clean latrines and live in a shack. However, many low-caste Hindus are breaking the bonds of this 'Belief' and 'movin' on up' by gaining an education and doing something with their lives. Many Hindus seek to 'block' this progress, but slow but sure, the tide is turning. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I'm not generalising... This is precisely as it was explained to me by a good friend, Haritpal Hora, a Hindu Sufi. Take it up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
big bear Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Hindus are not Sufi (in the strictest sense of term). Sufism is Islamic in origin. Yes, upper caste insular Hindus used that definition to impose the caste system. But in the four cannonical texts of Hinduism it was said that the caste is your chosen right based on the vocation you choose. Bottom-line: You cold choose your castes. Eventually, it got imposed on birth. Ok, let's just stop here, this is not the correct forum for these issues. Caste system in India is very complex. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Or being happy about other people's misery. But that doesn't change the fact that, rightly or wrongly, the human brain can, and sometime will, derive a certain amount of pleasure from someone else's pain. The shear volume of YouTube videos showing such a thing is evidence enough. The idea of karma (in its broadest western sense) can be an emotional tool for some people, and, as wrong as it may be to take pleasure in someone else's pain, to be indifferent enough towards an ex that you can see them hurting and not react through compassion suggests you are healing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 But that doesn't change the fact that, rightly or wrongly, the human brain can, and sometime will, derive a certain amount of pleasure from someone else's pain. The shear volume of YouTube videos showing such a thing is evidence enough. Accepted.... The idea of karma (in its broadest western sense) can be an emotional tool for some people, and, as wrong as it may be to take pleasure in someone else's pain, to be indifferent enough towards an ex that you can see them hurting and not react through compassion suggests you are healing. It's not 'karma'. Even in it's "broadest western sense', that's not what it is.... And as that isn't 'karma', don't call it that. Though I understand that schadenfreude is harder for some people to spell.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Hindus are not Sufi (in the strictest sense of term). Sufism is Islamic in origin. Yes, upper caste insular Hindus used that definition to impose the caste system. But in the four cannonical texts of Hinduism it was said that the caste is your chosen right based on the vocation you choose. Bottom-line: You cold choose your castes. Eventually, it got imposed on birth. Ok, let's just stop here, this is not the correct forum for these issues. Caste system in India is very complex. You have my most sincere and profound apologies. I did not intend 'Sufi' I intended 'Yogi' You are absolutely correct. I agree with suspending discussion. And I thank you sincerely for your input. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 schadenfreude is harder for some people to spell... Yes, ok, schadenfruede can be applied but I see that as an effect of so called karma...... I refer to the broadest western sense of Karma as "what goes around, comes around" and "live by the sword, die by the sword". Those phrases do not fit solely within schadenfreude and are most often linked, rightly or wrongly, with a broad, naive overview of the Sikh, Hindu and Buddhist ideas of karma combined into one easy to apply 'term'. Yes, you're right that when outlined against the individual religions definitions, what is called karma rarely actually is......... but the 'one size fits all' of karma in today's lexicon goes hand in hand with schadenfreude. This thread, I feel, is an attempt to take the stories of exs being treated the way we they treated us in order to feel schadenfreude. Can the most generic 'karma' not be accepted under that description? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluecrabroll Posted May 1, 2013 Author Share Posted May 1, 2013 Wow I woke up to something different. Maybe I did use the term Karma "loosely" or incorrectly and should have used schadenfreude. Life has its course for everyone with different endings, I understand that. I just wanted stories of the outcome of the exes from those that were treated badly. I really just wanted to delve into some TEMPORARY negative energy and yes say "I dodged that bullet, etc..." Isn't this also some form of healing? Knowing that maybe things happened this way because something better is around the corner and to be prepared for it. I never will permanently wish her misery or failure cause I loved her. But is it nice to not be the bigger person sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Yes, ok, schadenfruede can be applied but I see that as an effect of so called karma...... I refer to the broadest western sense of Karma as "what goes around, comes around" and "live by the sword, die by the sword". Those phrases do not fit solely within schadenfreude and are most often linked, rightly or wrongly, with a broad, naive overview of the Sikh, Hindu and Buddhist ideas of karma combined into one easy to apply 'term'. Yes, you're right that when outlined against the individual religions definitions, what is called karma rarely actually is......... but the 'one size fits all' of karma in today's lexicon goes hand in hand with schadenfreude. This thread, I feel, is an attempt to take the stories of exs being treated the way we they treated us in order to feel schadenfreude. Can the most generic 'karma' not be accepted under that description? No. In exactly the same way as euthanasia cannot be called murder' or a cushion cannot be called a pillow. One is one, the other is the other. You may call it the broadest western sense, but it doesn't lessen the inaccuracy. It's like telling a Christian that when anyone mentions the immaculate conception with regard to Mary, they mean the virgin birth. Common error, but an error which needs correction, not perpetuation. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Wow I woke up to something different. Maybe I did use the term Karma "loosely" or incorrectly and should have used schadenfreude. Consider yourself chastised..... Life has its course for everyone with different endings, I understand that. I just wanted stories of the outcome of the exes from those that were treated badly. I really just wanted to delve into some TEMPORARY negative energy and yes say "I dodged that bullet, etc..." Isn't this also some form of healing? Knowing that maybe things happened this way because something better is around the corner and to be prepared for it. I never will permanently wish her misery or failure cause I loved her. But is it nice to not be the bigger person sometimes. What people often fail to understand, is that if they're going to talk about Karma in the sense of a kick-back consequence - is that it makes no distinctions. It's not only about them, because there is no discrimination. Karma means you. If people want to see how "karma" has affected their ex, they had better look at how it has also treated them..... Because it's universal - nobody escapes it. However, as I pointed out, Karma's actually a different ball game. And schadenfreude isn't quite the same thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cdt76 Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I would take great pleasure in my ex's misery. In fact, I look forward to the day! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Would you guys take your KARMA debate to your own sandbox please....LOL!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 There's no debate. Just clarification. Briefly here, and in more detail, elsewhere..... Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 Duhhhh, trying to be funny here and loosen everyone up. It's hump day for crying out loud!! There's no debate. Just clarification. Briefly here, and in more detail, elsewhere..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I would take great pleasure in my ex's misery. In fact, I look forward to the day! What kind of misery would you like her to suffer? Cancer? A bereavement? A disability? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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