lemonlegs Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) Well, I dumped my ex, so hopefully nothing bad happens to me. Sometimes it just happens, doesn't mean the dumper should be punished. But my current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend was always talking to guys on the side (didn't necessarily cheat), but was very flirty and didn't treat him very well (so I've been told). She started dating her current boyfriend seemingly immediately after she dumped him. She's now pregnant at 23. I know, I know, it's not THAT young, but I think it definitely wasn't planned (she JUST finished school and doesn't have a career and I've been told she was very immature). She is now also engaged... which is seemingly a direct result of their, uh, situation... She claims she's happy but I know my boyfriend would've NOT wanted to have found himself in that situation... and same goes for me. Every one of his friends (most of whom used to be friends with her as well) say "well, you certainly dodged a bullet." Edited May 1, 2013 by lemonlegs Link to post Share on other sites
lemonlegs Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 What kind of misery would you like her to suffer? Cancer? A bereavement? A disability? Yeah, that's pretty terrible. I'd certainly hope that nobody would ever wish that on another human being. Maybe them getting taught a lesson in regards to their love life might be the very most.... Link to post Share on other sites
GI_Joy Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I think Kelly Clarkson's song lyric summarizes my opinion about this: I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well. I find it takes unnecessary energy to hate people and to boil in venom over someone else's misery, although it's my initial reaction to do so when someone has done me wrong. My story's floating around in the Other Woman/Man thread. Basically, after I was dumped by my ex a couple of weeks ago, I just randomly messaged a girl who I had suspicions about while I was still in the relationship and to my surprise I find out she is my ex's fiancee, who currently resides in a different country and had been together with him for almost a year. Our ex had basically been playing us both this whole time, though he's about to have the last laugh as the fiancee is going to disappear on him after he pays for her flight and wedding arrangements here in the US. Will she go through with the plan? I don't know, and honestly, I don't care. Blocked the fiancee from facebook after I got my own closure. The cat is out of the bag and now my ex has to deal with the guilt of his own screw-ups, not to mention he is about to be jobless and is moving back to his parents' house. Smooth move to be marrying someone from a different country when you don't have your own sh*t together Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluecrabroll Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Consider yourself chastised..... What people often fail to understand, is that if they're going to talk about Karma in the sense of a kick-back consequence - is that it makes no distinctions. It's not only about them, because there is no discrimination. Karma means you. If people want to see how "karma" has affected their ex, they had better look at how it has also treated them..... Because it's universal - nobody escapes it. However, as I pointed out, Karma's actually a different ball game. And schadenfreude isn't quite the same thing. I get your point. Of course I know Karma is universal and I cannot escape it as well. Naturally the first thing I think about is why me and what did this happen to me especially when you lived your life as honest and altruistic as possible. But maybe something better is in place for me and this is all part of the process of getting there. Link to post Share on other sites
Renard99 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 (edited) No. In exactly the same way as euthanasia cannot be called murder' or a cushion cannot be called a pillow. One is one, the other is the other. You may call it the broadest western sense, but it doesn't lessen the inaccuracy. It's like telling a Christian that when anyone mentions the immaculate conception with regard to Mary, they mean the virgin birth. Common error, but an error which needs correction, not perpetuation. I will agree to disagree. Words are bastardised on a regular basis and twisted, horrible distorted and spat out in a meaning that fits with society. Both foreign language and religion have been plundered for words and meanings over centuries. The resulting words/meanings maybe incorrect but does not make them any less wrong. They're too ingrained. P.s Just to clarify, I'm not 'putting down' what you say. The commonly held view of karma is completely inaccurate buy original definition. I'm just trying to say that society has adopted 'karma' and twisted its meaning. Yes, it's inaccurate, but like many long held inaccuracies in language, if they're there long enough, they become 'accepted'. I believe OP is referring to the widely accepted (yet inaccurate) meaning Edited May 2, 2013 by Renard99 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Duhhhh, trying to be funny here and loosen everyone up. It's hump day for crying out loud!! Being funny requires two One and either a or a . Otherwise you're just not funny. it says so in the rules. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 .... Naturally the first thing I think about is why me and what did this happen to me ...And then you should think, "Well, why NOT me? What makes me so special that i should be excluded from "The Walk of Life"...? And finally, you should think, "Right. This piece of crap. What am I going to do with it? Am I going to complain about how hot, smelly and steamy it is - or am I gonna feed the roses with it? How can I turn this apparent set-back into a motivational advantage?" especially when you lived your life as honest and altruistic as possible. But maybe something better is in place for me and this is all part of the process of getting there. .....Just to clarify, I'm not 'putting down' what you say. The commonly held view of karma is completely inaccurate buy original definition. I'm just trying to say that society has adopted 'karma' and twisted its meaning. Yes, it's inaccurate, but like many long held inaccuracies in language, if they're there long enough, they become 'accepted'. I believe OP is referring to the widely accepted (yet inaccurate) meaning Oh yes, i completely agree and understand that point. But it's something about which I crave people's indulgence. It's a topic close to my heart; and if people keep getting it 'wrong' I'm just going to keep trying to demonstrate the 'right' way of getting it. I am not singular in my passion; Some are fenickerty on grammar, others have particular personal subjects they are expertly passionate about.... (I do not proclaim myself to be an expert, could I add....) But I do feel aggrieved at the constant 'taking its name in vain'.... Thank you for your input. it's always great to enter into discussions of this ilk! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 (edited) I will agree to disagree. Words are bastardised on a regular basis and twisted, horrible distorted and spat out in a meaning that fits with society. Both foreign language and religion have been plundered for words and meanings over centuries. The resulting words/meanings maybe incorrect but does not make them any less wrong. They're too ingrained. P.s Just to clarify, I'm not 'putting down' what you say. The commonly held view of karma is completely inaccurate buy original definition. I'm just trying to say that society has adopted 'karma' and twisted its meaning. Yes, it's inaccurate, but like many long held inaccuracies in language, if they're there long enough, they become 'accepted'. I believe OP is referring to the widely accepted (yet inaccurate) meaning I was meditating on this matter, actually... as to why I feel so strongly about this whole 'Get the definition right!' thing I have, and why it seems to get my goat - and I think I found the answer.... Western Society (to give it a standard label) is almost obsessed with psychology, with finding out the why, wherefore and reasoning behind actions. We have an unlimited and maybe even unstoppable compulsion to over-think things to the point of focussed obsession. This forum is full and littered with threads about ex-partners and what mental affliction they may be suffering: Every conceivable mental disorder or imbalance is mentioned at one point: BPD, Passive-aggressive, sociopath, narcissistic, socially-anxious, Chronically depressed, controlling... you name it, we have a definition for every incident.... There is a tendency to whitewash, paint, colour or garnish some things that are tough or cruel or seem unfair, with a standard justification and explanation, by way of diagnosing a personality type..... If someone behaves in such-and-such a way, there must be some underlying condition that justifies it.... On the other side of the coin, is the 'recipient's' reaction, response or position.... and I think it's related to our holding on so much to being victims. Everyone is a victim of something. Their schooling, their parents, their ill-health, the act of a dumper and so on. We have a hard time accepting randomness and assign a victim on one side, and on the other, a someone to blame to everything. We have a really hard time accepting personal responsibility. It's always about what someone else, has done to us. Sure: Dumpees often cite their own failure in the relationship, and offer justification for a lack of required behaviour on their part, for the fact that they are now a dumpee.... But it always pales into insignificance, in comparison to how much the dumper has hurt them, how badly they have been treated, how unfair, uncaring, unfeeling, inconsiderate, unkind and cruel their ex has been/is being. And then we get the Karma comment; the desire to see justice being meted out, the wish to witness THEIR suffering, their sadness, their misery, their come-uppance.... We always want THEM to get payback. But we want some unseen force to do it. We want a mysterious and invisible 'badass' to come along and trip them up, and hang them out to dry... We wouldn't do anything - We personally don't want to be the avenging angel, the one who gets satisfaction, via our own actions in vengeance for our own broken heart. And this is how we 'distance' ourselves from the responsibility of taking a step back and seeing our own contribution to the situation. This is how we objectively decide that they deserve retribution, because we are the injured party.... and all thought of what we did, to bring us to this point - completely disappears... It takes two to tango. The moment I see someone wondering or wishing about Karma, and their ex- I immediately think "Well there's your karma, right there...." While you're wanting them to 'get theirs' - you're getting yours, too. It's not something most people want to grasp, not even those who have a better understand of Karma - beyond it being a bitch. Edited May 3, 2013 by TaraMaiden Link to post Share on other sites
Am4Real Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 No mam...Karma has it that LOL in my reply to you meant I was laughing...okay, now I'm in on the Karma discussion and seems I have the definition correct. Being funny requires two One and either a or a . Otherwise you're just not funny. it says so in the rules. :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2trill Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 l. . Looking back at how we ended and where she is now im actually the one laughing last. . Not that i want revenge but I told her that this woukd happen. During our 5 yrs she got to the point were she wanted more. Last summer I had graduated college and she was just starting college. Now that im look back and knowing how sneaky she was I know for a fact she planned to dump me before she started school.she came up with a perfect plan for a life without me im pretty sure with the aid of some friends. Now that I remember she was gonna leave while I was at work one day but I got it outta her a few days before and the first thing she did was call her friend after she told me. She thought she was gonna go live the single life party it up a yr before she moved away for school. She confirmed that but she didnt plan on getting preggo within 3 months ha ha. I look at it as perfect example of karma she dumps me to chase a fantasy and now she 7 months pregnant stuck in her grandpa basement with a baby daddy who cheated on her and now she wanna say she still care. Not so fast my friend. Now look at me got a decent job. Hot new chick that will kill for me and life is actually pretty good. She say she didn't wanna tell me she was pregnant I see why cause she knew i was right. If that ain't karma i don't know what is. My hands are clean you guys are right it's not my problem. I won't be an enemy with her bu5 it's not my problem. .... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 2trill, it pays to take in the whole thread. See this link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/spirituality-religious-beliefs/390207-s-not-karma-karma#post4846966 Link to post Share on other sites
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