Paranoia kicking in?!?! [LDR]

[Deepwounds]

In Nov 2012 I started dating my girlfriend that I met online in a gaming community. "She's 21 Im 25" We kinda just hit it off like no other relationship I have ever been in. We are about 8 hours apart and we both visited each other multiple times. We spend most of are free time in Skype and playing Video games [ we both are in school ]. We have talked a lot about how we think we were Fated because of our personality and how we met. We have talked a lot about the future together and when finishing school moving in together. Everything seems fine till a couple days ago.

 

A few days ago this guy who plays in this community started messaging her, and talking smack to me. At this time I didnt know who he was so I got on the defensive about it, and I told my girl about the stuff he says and how I feel unconformable when she talks to him. She said she likes how I am protective of her and how it lets her know I care about her. I then said that I am not going to dictate who she is friend with, but made it clear I dislike her talking to him. She then said she just wants more poeple to play games with. Which is understandable. I then proceeded to talk with the guy about the trash talk he was saying and he claims it ws just BS, and that he doesn't want anything like that with my girl . I also know for a fact hes dating another girl online too.

 

Now we all kinda started playing games together. I still see her typing to him which I am bothered that mabe she is falling for this guy. Every time hes on she wants to play, but she always asks me if I want to join her. She even woke me up in the morning asking if I wanted to play with them. When asked what they talk about she claims just about games like "Bro talk" which I understand because she does have a lot of other guy friends she played with. Also she says if he does try to make some hints of flirting she just ignores it.

 

I ask the forums for help because even after all this. We still talk about the future, Her attitude hasnt changed towards me. We still do all the same stuff before this guy came around, and she mentioned how shes not attracted to him what so ever and even threw out "He acts kinda gay" 'Sorry not trying to offend anyone.'.

 

I dnt want to push her away with jealousy or Paranoia, and I do trust her, but I have has issues in the passed with other ex's. She also has mentioned in the passed and during the confrontation that she isnt that type of person to do that and if she doesn't want to date me she will just leave me.

 

Im just looking for advice. If you have any other questions please feel free to ask.

 

She is also still planning on coming here for the summer.

[Bryanp]

If the roles were reversed would she be as accepting as you have been? A girl that has lots of male friends is usually a big red flag for trouble ahead. Good luck.

[LizardNoyce]

Girls that have a lot I guy friends is not a red flag. It's her personality an it shows that she's liked by others. If she tells you she's not interested in this guy and hast given you a reason not to trust her, them I wouldn't be worried.

Your paranoia and jealousy is baggage from ther relationships so it's not fair to her. Maybe tell her why you're feelin insecure. Give her a chance to prove herself!

[Jbum5]

Let's get this straight: other guys shouldn't matter if you are confident about yourself, her, and this relationship. If by all means she ends up cheating, you have the opportunity to get rid of her. If she cheats, look at it positively because you've dodged a bullet, and be thankful that you don't have to go through administrative headaches to file divorce papers and possibly lose part of your wealth.

[LizardNoyce]

Yeah if she's always had a lot of guy friends then you're gonna have to deal with it. That's her personality and she won't like it if you try to change her

[LizardNoyce]

Okay, first of all he's asking for advice. Not to be judged on how he lives his life and who he hangs out with. He can play video games all he wants if he pleases. Second of all, he probably does do things outside sometimes but he just didnt mention it because that isn't the point here. Get off your high horse, seriously.

[NoMoreJerks]

If the roles were reversed would she be as accepting as you have been? A girl that has lots of male friends is usually a big red flag for trouble ahead. Good luck.

That is so untrue. Well, maybe in some cases it is a red flag, but as a general rule, women do not befriend people of the opposite sex with sex/romance in mind. I am female and most of my friends are men. I have never dated, and will probably never date any of them, and am not really interested in any of them sexually or romantically.. they are just good friends. Maybe they think of me differently than I think of them, but that's another matter altogether.

[chucksagent]

BryanP is 100% right. Selfish men and selfish women lack the ability to put themselves in your shoes.

 

My buddies and I have often had this happen and we developed a rule/trick that ALWAYS works. Have a friend or you yourself create a "fake" female and have her start flirting with/talking smack on your girl...she won't be too "cool" for long. Don't listen to these out of touch liberals.

 

The MINUTE he said bad stuff about you, she should have deleted him. End of story. Sorry, but anyone with class, honor and respect would have done that and would agree with me. Bottom line liberals.

 

For example...I had a buddy who moved to Texas for a woman who he had been involved with for some time long distance...First weekend there lol they are at a wedding. This other guy is flirting HARD with my buddies girl. Right in front of HIM and her own parents!! And being new there, he didn't want to flip in front of her parents. The guy was like rubbing her knee when laughing and real flirty stuff.

 

They get back to the table, and her Mom says "Sweetheart, you're lucky Mike didn't knock that guy out. Why was he so flirty?" And my buddy added "Thank you! I'm glad you said something, I thought I was just being paranoid."

 

His girlfriend goes "Oh, your new here babe, you don't know how us southerners are when being friendly and touchy."

 

My buddy, witty as he is goes, "Oh babe, glad I know now! I'm happy I can rub girls legs when laughing and you won't be mad."

 

IMMEDIATELY shes like "well that's different." Baaahahahahaha Liberal hypocrisy. Happens in real life, happens in politics, and happens here on these very boards.

 

Trust your instincts my gamer friend! (I am a fellow gamer) I had a zero tolerance policy for liberal hussy behavior like you are dealing with and it served me well as my wife is gorgeous and wonderful. She would NEVER behave like that. But I have been in your shoes and dated girls like that. No respect for themselves or for you, she just likes the attention.

 

"Looking for someone to game with" is the MOST PATHETIC excused I've ever heard. Yeah, she and 1 million other people, lol finding someone to game with is the easiest thing ever to do. You can EVEN find one your own gender if you look closely!

[Deepwounds]

BryanP is 100% right. Selfish men and selfish women lack the ability to put themselves in your shoes.

 

My buddies and I have often had this happen and we developed a rule/trick that ALWAYS works. Have a friend or you yourself create a "fake" female and have her start flirting with/talking smack on your girl...she won't be too "cool" for long. Don't listen to these out of touch liberals.

 

The MINUTE he said bad stuff about you, she should have deleted him. End of story. Sorry, but anyone with class, honor and respect would have done that and would agree with me. Bottom line liberals.

 

For example...I had a buddy who moved to Texas for a woman who he had been involved with for some time long distance...First weekend there lol they are at a wedding. This other guy is flirting HARD with my buddies girl. Right in front of HIM and her own parents!! And being new there, he didn't want to flip in front of her parents. The guy was like rubbing her knee when laughing and real flirty stuff.

 

They get back to the table, and her Mom says "Sweetheart, you're lucky Mike didn't knock that guy out. Why was he so flirty?" And my buddy added "Thank you! I'm glad you said something, I thought I was just being paranoid."

 

His girlfriend goes "Oh, your new here babe, you don't know how us southerners are when being friendly and touchy."

 

My buddy, witty as he is goes, "Oh babe, glad I know now! I'm happy I can rub girls legs when laughing and you won't be mad."

 

IMMEDIATELY shes like "well that's different." Baaahahahahaha Liberal hypocrisy. Happens in real life, happens in politics, and happens here on these very boards.

 

Trust your instincts my gamer friend! (I am a fellow gamer) I had a zero tolerance policy for liberal hussy behavior like you are dealing with and it served me well as my wife is gorgeous and wonderful. She would NEVER behave like that. But I have been in your shoes and dated girls like that. No respect for themselves or for you, she just likes the attention.

 

"Looking for someone to game with" is the MOST PATHETIC excused I've ever heard. Yeah, she and 1 million other people, lol finding someone to game with is the easiest thing ever to do. You can EVEN find one your own gender if you look closely!

 

Not making excuses for her, but in this day and age there is more male gamers than female. Also she cant stand the typical "ATTENTIONWHORE" Girl gamers which most of the time u run into. This is why she has more guy friends. Also it happens to be shes making new friends because I have a differ group of friends in the community and she doesnt get into contact with her old friends from the same group of friends.

 

As for my situation I have lost most of my paranoia and it was my body just reacting from my passed. I guess over analyzing the situation planted a seed and it took place. This was the first time I ever encountered this issue with this girl so I took a step back and took some advice from here.

 

If you try to stop them from cheating/fooling around it just makes them want to kinda, but in the mean time. When I have this issue Im just going to stay strong act strong and I should even worry.

[LizardNoyce]

Good idea! Plus, I've learned that putting your problems on this forum just helps you get judged, nothing else. Strangers don't need to know your business because we're all self righteous and feel the need to put down others.

[chucksagent]

LizardNoyce - That is the POINT of this forum...putting on a situation in your life and getting feedback and opinions. And as far as judging, nobody is judging anyone. Facts are facts. You shouldn't allow someone you love to be disrespected. Anyone who says otherwise is a fool. That is all factual. No opinion or judging.