DelusionalOne Posted May 1, 2013 Share Posted May 1, 2013 I just want to be over this. I want some peace. I'm tired of being "haunted". I'm tired of "triggers" that make me cry. I'm tired if being angry. I'm tired of thinking about him and all the crap that goes along with it... I'm just tired of it. No matter how busy I am or what I am doing I get assaulted by some "ghost". I try and force myself to get over it .... Seriously it's been 3 months now... It's time to move on and yet nothing I do seems I help. Anyone else feel that way or am I alone in my insanity? Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Delusional One, I feel like I must have issues. It's been 4 and a half months! Today I feel nothing but anger for him. I can see clearly how much he used me and how special he thought he was to have two women tripping all over themselves to be with him. I don't want to have any feelings for him. You know the worst part? Reading everything on this board and having time to reflect...if he were to come back there is no way I would take him back. He broke my trust and he broke her trust and I hope one day he sees he ruined two women's lives. Just remember everything you are mourning was POTENTIAL. If he didn't fill that potential then its his loss. Be glad you didn't make any stupid moves or do anything irreversible like i did. Hugs to you...it takes time I guess. One day you'll finish thinking and processing and romanticizing. I realized today that he has every reason to 'miss me' and I really don't have any reason to miss someone like him. Feel free to vent and feel your emotions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Over three years and its still hard. But now it's contained and pocketed. But while I sit here on my deck John Mayer's "Dreaming With A. Broken Heart" comes on and sends me back. The worst is over but there is still sadness. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 When you are ready and are totally fed up in feeling this way, you'll push yourself even harder and not let the hurt and pain take over, you'll fight it even harder and tell it to F-OFF so you can live your life again more at peace and feel happy all around again. Everybody's breaking point (enough is enough) stage is different. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Delusional...I'm sorry you are still struggling so. I had another "ok" day, mainly because I was really busy doing crappy stuff. Can you do something special for yourself this weekend? Start taking care of yourself, maybe help you move through this low? Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 No you arent alone.. 5 months and still not there....but it is getting a bit better.. Mornings and weekends are the worst. I am hearing that EMDR type therapy has good results...Frankly, id throw myself out of a 5 story window if I can get past this at this point. I am going to try it..Forget the antidepressants. Gave up on that..side effects worse than the pain. Only thing helps me is the gym so I workout like a nut. Just hang in there(I know, you are probably tired of hearing that, too) TFY Link to post Share on other sites
FallenPrincess Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I hear ya. I don't want this response to be all about me, so I'm just going to give you a big hug. Know you aren't alone. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 No you arent alone.. 5 months and still not there....but it is getting a bit better.. Mornings and weekends are the worst. I am hearing that EMDR type therapy has good results...Frankly, id throw myself out of a 5 story window if I can get past this at this point. I am going to try it..Forget the antidepressants. Gave up on that..side effects worse than the pain. Only thing helps me is the gym so I workout like a nut. Just hang in there(I know, you are probably tired of hearing that, too) TFY I agree with this - working out is probably the best thing anyone can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Or if you can't afford to lose any weight, do YOGA! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DelusionalOne Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 I hear ya. I don't want this response to be all about me, so I'm just going to give you a big hug. Know you aren't alone. Please share. I'm not possessive of my threads. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DelusionalOne Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Or if you can't afford to lose any weight, do YOGA! I do 3 hours of yoga a week. I love it. Totally addicted! Namaste! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DelusionalOne Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 I hear ya. I just want peace as well. The NC is a bitch. It's just this stony wall of silence that I want to break through (don't worry, I won't). It's brutal. I think I'm dwelling, I have an appointment tomorrow that I'm hoping will help with that. I predict they'll insist on a break from LS, which is probably a good idea. You gotta do what's best for you... I'd hate to see you go. I can relate to a lot of what you said... but I totally understand about the "dwelling" Link to post Share on other sites
bellasue Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I share the insanity. I'm only two and a half weeks out.....I admit when I am out and about I look for him. Just to have a glimpse. Every song seems to trigger some memory. It's all I think about. I am considering painting every room in my house to try to busy my mind. : ) Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
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