Praying4Peace Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I just wanted to share this. I hope its not too weird or crazy. Yesterday was the most beautiful and sunny day. I was having a 'good' day. I went to the grocery store to pick up some supplies and was just looking at everyone I passed with curiosity. I have a lot of time to reflect now that I'm mostly on my own or with a kid (they are little). I saw a woman at the salad bar who looked around my age or older. She smiled sweetly at me and let me serve myself the chick pea salad first. I also was standing at the deli waiting to be served and began talking to another woman about kids lunches. I looked around and most of the customers were women...everyone seemed so nice and devoted to their families...getting food, thinking of dinner, being normal. When I talk to strangers now I always wonder if their lives were touched by infidelity or if they are going through something now. It makes me feel really sad and makes me not give a CRAP about stupid MM's. I know that MW's can be the same way but again and again I keep reading about these MM's that have it made...soft spot to land on either side. They keep lying and lying and then stare and play dumb...and then beg each woman to not leave them...I mean they are effing idiots. If begging doesn't work then just take a step back and the two women will destroy each other verbally and direct all hate at each other while I just 'pretend I don't understand...blink blink.' Women are so strong and empathetic and giving and forgiving. I will never ever pick a man over a woman again. It makes me sick to my stomach. Most of the BW's on here are too good for their WH's. And most of the OW's here (with the exception of the sprinking of crazies...no offense...just my opinion) don't deserve to be treated badly either. Sometimes I can't help but think that MM's have it so good. 14 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I just wanted to share this. I hope its not too weird or crazy. Yesterday was the most beautiful and sunny day. I was having a 'good' day. I went to the grocery store to pick up some supplies and was just looking at everyone I passed with curiosity. I have a lot of time to reflect now that I'm mostly on my own or with a kid (they are little). I saw a woman at the salad bar who looked around my age or older. She smiled sweetly at me and let me serve myself the chick pea salad first. I also was standing at the deli waiting to be served and began talking to another woman about kids lunches. I looked around and most of the customers were women...everyone seemed so nice and devoted to their families...getting food, thinking of dinner, being normal. When I talk to strangers now I always wonder if their lives were touched by infidelity or if they are going through something now. It makes me feel really sad and makes me not give a CRAP about stupid MM's. I know that MW's can be the same way but again and again I keep reading about these MM's that have it made...soft spot to land on either side. They keep lying and lying and then stare and play dumb...and then beg each woman to not leave them...I mean they are effing idiots. If begging doesn't work then just take a step back and the two women will destroy each other verbally and direct all hate at each other while I just 'pretend I don't understand...blink blink.' Women are so strong and empathetic and giving and forgiving. I will never ever pick a man over a woman again. It makes me sick to my stomach. Most of the BW's on here are too good for their WH's. And most of the OW's here (with the exception of the sprinking of crazies...no offense...just my opinion) don't deserve to be treated badly either. Sometimes I can't help but think that MM's have it so good. Amen to that, Sister. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 It is a fact that men who cheat are viewed differently. It's an age old story and it hasn't changed a whole lot over time. Look, my xom is doing well (as far as I can tell) - he is unscathed. My husband "got away" with it. And to some degree I have sympathy for his xow because I have been there. I agree. Women are strong and both ow and betrayed women deal with a lot and in some ways the man in the middle (mm) pit one against the other when d-day hits. We should do a better job of caring for each other as women. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 I'm not an OW or a...er, BS? BW? But I did find the title of this thread interesting. When I was younger (I'm 38), I saw women as competition. In the last couple of years, I started seeing women as sisters, comrades, you name it. I feel a much stronger bond with women now, whereas before I never really had that many female friends. I just wanted to say that I loved this post and agree with you wholeheartedly. And good for you! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DelusionalOne Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 It is a fact that men who cheat are viewed differently. It's an age old story and it hasn't changed a whole lot over time. Look, my xom is doing well (as far as I can tell) - he is unscathed. My husband "got away" with it. And to some degree I have sympathy for his xow because I have been there. I agree. Women are strong and both ow and betrayed women deal with a lot and in some ways the man in the middle (mm) pit one against the other when d-day hits. We should do a better job of caring for each other as women. Same with mine on both accounts... My DH "got away with it" more than once and xMOM... Well he's sitting pretty with his W and new OW. I'll own my own part of what happened, but I'll be damned if I'll take full responsibility for what he openly sought and pursued and fricken walked away in the catbird seat. I believe in Karma... And I hope when it kicks him in the ass, God will let me be there... Just in case Karma needs some help! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Praying4Peace Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Well...from what I read the 'anger' stage hits at about the same time with betrayal. Whether it be BW or OW. The all-you-can-eat buffet of EgoStroking is closed at this time. I think for my exMM a D-day was just the day you switch up who you're having a lot of sex with. LOL. And he kept going back and forth. He must have thought he died and went to some high stress heaven. It makes me laugh....if it wasn't so sicko! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Sometimes I can't help but think that MM's have it so good. It's true. I've commented on this before. Most times it's women at the short end of this stick. Usually A dynamics involve competition and drama between a female BS and female OW or in addition OOW. It's a lot rarer to see two men going at it over a MW or comparing themselves to each other. But in general, even outside of As, most women are socialized to seek validation from being in relationships with men and many women unfortunately see other women as "competition" and opponents in terms of that goal. Many women grow up learning that finding a man/a husband twill be the pinnacle of their success. Even successful women, Oprah for example, who is a billionaire and has so much influence, half the people are wondering how come she never got married. Society puts a lot of pressure on women to find men and even smart, successful women are often just as indoctrinated into this and behave in ways that show this. Whereas, more men are socialized to be a lot more independent and there is not this great pressure for them to find a wife or find a woman to validate them. Men have their own unique issues re socialization, but it's just far more common to see the cat fights and woman against woman thing than to see men against men. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Praying4Peace Posted May 2, 2013 Author Share Posted May 2, 2013 Its because men have a lot of pride when it comes to their wives cheating. They would rather cut and run. If you took some of the situations where the BW is working on reconciliing with her WH...and flipped the scenarios...the men would be OUT OF THERE. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DelusionalOne Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Don't fool yourself, the mm loves and thrives on the competition that he sets up between the two women, even when one of the is in the dark about it. AAaaaawwwwww then it must sooooo suck when we go NC and no one is fighting over their sorry, pathetic ass. Yeah, I know.... not really. Link to post Share on other sites
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