A guy flaking on a date and his excuse?

[candie13]

I know this is odd, but this is the part that bothers me most.

 

If I was exhausted, I would tell the guy no and MEAN IT. He doesn't get a say after that. I don't care what he feels he "has" to do. Sleep comes first, then booty call.

 

It seems like that's all you are to him. An option for sex. No idea if his family story is true, but it doesn't really matter as you two aren't in a relationship.

 

in theory, it sounds perfectly reasonable... IRL, however, if you've got the hots for a guy... you will see him, especially if he insists to see you. that's very ego flattering. I would like that very much, from the guy I fancy, I'm too impulsive for my own sake - my best friend sometimes calls me "boy crazy" !

[Treasa]

in theory, it sounds perfectly reasonable... IRL, however, if you've got the hots for a guy... you will see him, especially if he insists to see you. that's very ego flattering. I would like that very much, from the guy I fancy, I'm too impulsive for my own sake - my best friend sometimes calls me "boy crazy" !

 

I used to be like that. I don't care how crazy I am over a man nowadays, though...my needs come first. He can wait. If he can't, he's not the kind of guy I want to get down and dirty with anyway.

[Emilia]

in theory, it sounds perfectly reasonable... IRL, however, if you've got the hots for a guy... you will see him, especially if he insists to see you. that's very ego flattering. I would like that very much, from the guy I fancy, I'm too impulsive for my own sake - my best friend sometimes calls me "boy crazy" !

 

It's just my opinion but generally speaking it's good to draw boundaries, men respect you for it even if they get miffed.

[Emilia]

I used to be like that. I don't care how crazy I am over a man nowadays, though...my needs come first. He can wait. If he can't, he's not the kind of guy I want to get down and dirty with anyway.

This is it precisely.

[candie13]

It's just my opinion but generally speaking it's good to draw boundaries, men respect you for it even if they get miffed.

 

absolutely!

 

But I'm Romanian, I draw barriers everyday - and it's usually different ones, of course !

 

I just admit as to how I am. If I like a guy, I will put in some effort to see him. And if he likes me, he'll do the same. I'd much rather know sooner than later, especially if I fancy him.

[candie13]

I used to be like that. I don't care how crazy I am over a man nowadays, though...my needs come first. He can wait. If he can't, he's not the kind of guy I want to get down and dirty with anyway.

 

The OP is traveling to see him. Time is a luxury.

 

It should always be a time versus effort balance. Not even that. It should be a pleasure versus effort. If the ratio is positive, I think the OP is right to see the guy, even if she is dead tired. Otherwise, why bother? Nothing quite like a good O to sleep like a baby!

 

I honestly hate it when people go "oh, you went to se him... he'll take you for granted". in reality, if I got to see my man, I usually come back home with a huge huge grin on my face. Up to me to handle the relationship in such a way as to not be the one always making the efforts.

 

Sorry to sound anti-feminist: good sex with a guy you're lusting after is worth one hour (or two, if you're lucky) of less sleep :laugh:.

[Emilia]

The OP is traveling to see him. Time is a luxury.

 

It should always be a time versus effort balance. Not even that. It should be a pleasure versus effort. If the ratio is positive, I think the OP is right to see the guy, even if she is dead tired. Otherwise, why bother? Nothing quite like a good O to sleep like a baby!

 

I honestly hate it when people go "oh, you went to se him... he'll take you for granted". in reality, if I got to see my man, I usually come back home with a huge huge grin on my face. Up to me to handle the relationship in such a way as to not be the one always making the efforts.

 

Sorry to sound anti-feminist: good sex with a guy you're lusting after is worth one hour (or two, if you're lucky) of less sleep :laugh:.

 

It's not that. It's about what men value. You can't offer it on a plate in the beginning. In a relationship? By all means. At the early stages? It should be on your terms. It pays.

[PondJumper]

I also got the impression that there are some sort of feelings here, otherwise he would have canceled without giving you the personal details behind his cancelation.

 

Even though you say it's current practice, I am bothered by people not answering my texts. Especially men I take an interest towards. I find those a bit rude - I am bit sensitive in that regard.

 

I agree... don't like the lack of response... make HIS statement a little more suspicious. I think he was letting me down easy and he didn't reschedule...

I will wait for him to contact me. If not, there is my answer but yes, I do care for him.

[candie13]

It's not that. It's about what men value. You can't offer it on a plate in the beginning. In a relationship? By all means. At the early stages? It should be on your terms. It pays.

 

As I mentioned before, when I am having sex, it's usually in a relationship. I dated my current bf for a while, before having sex.

 

I don't know the situation of the OP - when, how long, how often they see eachother. I recognized a bit of my own reactions, in her - my own reactions in my thing with my guy. Was I this crazy at the beginning of our sexual period? I am afraid I was . Turns out, he was like that as well - jumping from the airplane directly to my place, sleeping over during the weekends... It's a feeling you get from your partner. Could I not get burnt, despite the wait for sex, because I seemed eager or into him? For sure!!! Turns out our passion for sex is only matched by the intensity of our fights . I've never pretended to be very calm and balanced.