ComingInHot Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 zevahc wrote, "... But that I felt wrong about the A because of my upbringing." Now think, how are you going to bring up your daughter? It's okay to have an A? It's Not okay to have an A? Don't feel bad for sleeping with another wife's H? etc... It is my thought that raising a child to believe it is wrong to sleep with another who is M, is a GOOD thing. I mean remember how You felt when your wife had Sex with another man?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author zevahc Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 zevahc wrote, "... But that I felt wrong about the A because of my upbringing." Now think, how are you going to bring up your daughter? It's okay to have an A? It's Not okay to have an A? Don't feel bad for sleeping with another wife's H? etc... It is my thought that raising a child to believe it is wrong to sleep with another who is M, is a GOOD thing. I mean remember how You felt when your wife had Sex with another man?! No, I totally think its wrong. Who can't cite a circumstance in life where its "do as I say, not as I do"? I'm not trying to say it was ok. The fact that I didn't feel guilt over loving this girl didn't mean I didn't feel wrong about the PA etc... I went to IC for the very reason of KNOWING I'm in a jacked up situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zevahc Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I want my daughter to be raised with conviction. To have a solid value system, ethics, respect herself and expect others to respect her as a woman. That doesn't mean I'm a perfect example. It also doesn't mean I expect her to be perfect. But I hope that she is convicted when she knows she does wrong, whatever that may be. No matter how big or small in the worlds eyes. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 zevahc wrote, "I want my daughter to be raised with conviction. To have a solid value system, ethics, respect herself and expect others to respect her as a woman. That doesn't mean I'm a perfect example. It also doesn't mean I expect her to be perfect. But I hope that she is convicted when she knows she does wrong, whatever that may be. No matter how big or small in the worlds eyes. " OH MY GOSH! You'd be a near-perfect man that every woman (single) would want! if you'd just stop sleeping with a MW... Seriously. I would walk on water to get my H to step ALL the way up as a dad like that! He's working on it though. But still! So, ya. STOP helping her cheat. She already said she was Not going to leave until she had "really" given her M a try. That could take Years!! Do you have Sole custody of your daughter? I ask because you said you are with her "every moment". That is hard, to not ever have a break. Have you tried joining a gym? (full of single in-shape ladies) How about biking? Hiking? swimming? Down Hill Skiing?!?! Awesome* You can meet MANY available ladies just by doing what you already Love to do Link to post Share on other sites
Author zevahc Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 zevahc wrote, "I want my daughter to be raised with conviction. To have a solid value system, ethics, respect herself and expect others to respect her as a woman. That doesn't mean I'm a perfect example. It also doesn't mean I expect her to be perfect. But I hope that she is convicted when she knows she does wrong, whatever that may be. No matter how big or small in the worlds eyes. " OH MY GOSH! You'd be a near-perfect man that every woman (single) would want! if you'd just stop sleeping with a MW... Seriously. I would walk on water to get my H to step ALL the way up as a dad like that! He's working on it though. But still! So, ya. STOP helping her cheat. She already said she was Not going to leave until she had "really" given her M a try. That could take Years!! Do you have Sole custody of your daughter? I ask because you said you are with her "every moment". That is hard, to not ever have a break. Have you tried joining a gym? (full of single in-shape ladies) How about biking? Hiking? swimming? Down Hill Skiing?!?! Awesome* You can meet MANY available ladies just by doing what you already Love to do I can't reveal my hobby because its not a large activity and I think its not wise. Too many people who know me might put one and one together because my name pops up under that activity on the web. And others know I've been a single parent for 10 years. Her mother when she had the A moved out and for a long while didn't want to be a parent. She was out of the picture living with her AP and several other guys. So for 6 years it was status quo. 4 years ago she challenged me for custody and lost. Up until then we had a TO under the court. It's sad that my attorney at the time and the courts made us live under a temporary order for that long. But that's another matter of the crappy legal process and dependency on those scumbags. I don't have a lot of time to get out as a single parent. Mother lives in another state far away. I knew from day one my daughter didn't have a choice and its been a privilege raising such an amazing young lady. I'm actually trying to date through some online sites. But I'm very selective. Most of all I want to marry a best friend. I want that connection and I want someone who will fight when things are tough. Just starting to date again to get back into a normal life. Only time will tell if I meet the person that meets that mold. I do think I'm a good guy, good career, etc...but I find it very very hard to meet women in my career and daily routine. We will see...right now I'm just trying to get out there and meet women and make friendships. I don't like to get into relationships quickly because I hate ending them when something is missing. Been there and done that. I still cherish the friendships and women I've dated and I'm friends with almost every single one except my ex wife. They were all great women. Just not the one for me or vice versa for some reason. Guess I just find meeting them hard. I don't know how really to approach a total stranger without seeming creepy either. But that's about all that's left in my daily routine. Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 zevahc, I can read clearly that you love this MW. And I can understand the convenience & ease of growing the relationship due to sharing the same work environment. I'm sorry that you have so much to offer and are giving it to someone who can't (at the moment and who knows how long). I think this MW may actually be a nice person which makes things even harder for you as once you look past the A love you see she is betraying her H the same way your W destroyed you. Please know that as young as you sound, the days and years fly by. Consider a future Filled not one wasted. But ultimately it is your choice how you want to live your life & spend your time. I wish you well* Link to post Share on other sites
Author zevahc Posted May 4, 2013 Author Share Posted May 4, 2013 zevahc, I can read clearly that you love this MW. And I can understand the convenience & ease of growing the relationship due to sharing the same work environment. I'm sorry that you have so much to offer and are giving it to someone who can't (at the moment and who knows how long). I think this MW may actually be a nice person which makes things even harder for you as once you look past the A love you see she is betraying her H the same way your W destroyed you. Please know that as young as you sound, the days and years fly by. Consider a future Filled not one wasted. But ultimately it is your choice how you want to live your life & spend your time. I wish you well* Thank you for your words. I'm not old but not extremely young...in my eyes at least...the Divorce process will age you...you know. She is a great person or I wouldn't even have been her friend in the first place. I'm not justifying her actions (or mine), nobody is perfect....she has turmoil over this just the same as I do...different seat, different perspective, but again...yes I think she's a good person. I said it earlier...should have been wiser...but wasn't....and i can't put the blame in any one persons court...it takes 2 to tango. Link to post Share on other sites
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