Lich1 Posted May 2, 2013 Share Posted May 2, 2013 Hi, all. I guess my problem is determining when the "window" is for asking out a friend. I recently missed a window with a woman I've known for a couple years. We'd known each other in passing (classes and such) but as of late we've become closer friends. Her sense of humor is very similar to mine, she's really intelligent, and it doesn't hurt that she's quite cute. Recently we had been hanging out somewhat frequently and conversing outside of class, going to lunch/dinner, with phone calls and many texts. She's made joking comments about the two of us, jokingly said that she was jealous of another woman I'd hung out with, and our interactions are peppered with casual physical contact. On one occasion when I moved over on a couch to give her more room, she just chuckled to herself (possibly ruefully?) and shook her head. However, I was anxious about asking her out on a date, because I wasn't certain if she was actually signaling or just being friendly, and I didn't want her to feel awkward about rejecting me. She seems to have closed off a bit, so I think I missed the chance, if there ever was one. How can I recognize these things so that I'll know when to make a move? I think the main problem is that I couldn't really be sure if she was interested, but I don't want her to think I led her on or something, because then she'll resent me and I do value her friendship. If only people came with a built in LED or something to indicate interest... Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 If she doesn't end up with you in the long term, she will end up with somebody else. In that case, she won't really be available to be your close friend anymore, because men and women can't be close friends when in relationships with other people. Casual friends, perhaps, but not close. (I know, some people will disagree). So therefore, in the long term, either you will end up together as a couple, or you will end up without her at all. So you have nothing to lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lich1 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Hmm, that's interesting. I didn't really think about that way but you're probably right. I have generally fallen off with (female) friends after they or I get into a relationship. I know I need to take the plunge and soon, so I guess it's just a matter of doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
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