EmptyHeartGirl Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 It's been 2 years NC. It has been such a long hard journey for me to get to a point where I didn't think about him all the time. With the weather much nicer I was inspired to get out and have a good time with a friend. We go to one of my favorite bars to have drinks and catch up. Halfway through the conversation I hear my name I look up and he's there. Everything else seemed to be a blur. He walked over and gave me a hug and said how good it was to see me. I can;t remember the rest of the conversation. I was very nice, maybe too nice as my friend pointed out. I'm so bothered by this as I feel like it has set me back. No we didn't make any plans to connect, or catch up but I feel awful because I realize how much I miss him and I hate that I do. I keep telling myself he didn;t give a crap about me, but it really isn't helping. Not sure what to do Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Wow-that must have been so hard. It will be interesting to see what lies ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Wow...that's really difficult. I hope I never see my exAP ever again. Did it end very badly for you two years ago? (Of course it ended badly but I mean were you friendly and was it mutual or was it heated and angry?) Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Let me ask, why you were nice to your xMM? NC 2 years and the guy had the balls to walk over and talk to you. Wish you would have just turned your back or said nothing with a stern look on your face.. DO NOT let seeing him briefly set you back! This was a little bump in the road, 2 years later.. Whatever you do, don't focus on this too much. Go on with your life and forget him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Wow-that must have been so hard. It will be interesting to see what lies ahead. You mean if he contacts her again and she lets the A starts up again? God I hope not! 2 years is a long time and A LOT of healing.. To take a huge step backwards is not a good thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EmptyHeartGirl Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 Thanks everyone! I'm not in a place where I would ever be tempted to go back, The whole thing hurt me immensely and I could never allow myself to go back to that place. I guess I'm trying to understand why after everything that's happened I still care about him, and seeing him just brought all those feelings back. @P4P It didn't end badly. i finally stopped responding to his messages. @WWIU-I'm not sure why I was nice, to be honest I was in shock, not to mention I didn't want him to know that after 2 years I still had any feeling @wisernow- no worries i wont go back to that place. i have been constantly reminding myself of how i felt 2 years ago. it's enough to keep me away 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 total t/j here, but I can't resist. Once in a while I imagine running into xmm, I see him sitting at a table in a restaurant with his wife. I see myself walking up and speaking with her and asking how she is, then I look at him like he is the dogpoo that I would wipe off my shoes, (my high heeled blues ones by the way), and then as I turn around to leave, I do a wipe with my hand of all the contents on the table, right into his lap. I turn around and wink at his wife, she smiles back. :cool: I'm a bitch like that sometimes. You know what? When I lie in bed asleep tossing and turning and am tempted to break mental NC by reliving all the 'good times' ...I will make stuff up like this instead! In fact I'm going to borrow this very fantasy from you- complete with the awesome blue heels. LOL!!! ps- sorry OP for the t/j... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I am waiting for the day we are face to face. I have seen him once in 3 years in he same establishment but we had no interaction (other than the red stripe beer thing which I spoke of in another thread). We live about 20 minutes apart, we are from the same hometown, his parents and her mom still live in this hometown (I see them from time to time and they treat me like sh@@. It is inevitable that we will eventually run into each other but I am very thankful that it has not been before now. I would not have been strong enough. Now I am. He won't even know I still care. It will be like we never had any kind of relationship other than a surface one. I have done enough theater I can pull it off and I can't wait until I have that opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I am waiting for the day we are face to face. I have seen him once in 3 years in the same establishment but we had no interaction (other than the red stripe beer thing which I spoke of in another thread). We live about 20 minutes apart, we are from the same hometown, his parents and her mom still live in this hometown (I see them from time to time and they treat me like sh@@. It is inevitable that we will eventually run into each other but I am very thankful that it has not been before now. I would not have been strong enough. Now I am. He won't even know I still care. It will be like we never had any kind of relationship other than a surface one. I have done enough theater I can pull it off and I can't wait until I have that opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Oops double post. - sorry - couldn't figure out how to get rid of it Link to post Share on other sites
Author EmptyHeartGirl Posted May 3, 2013 Author Share Posted May 3, 2013 I'm feeling a little better today. All of your comments have been so helpful. Frozensprouts I am actually glad it happened and I am very happy that I was able to face him and not break down, not sure I would have been able to do that a year ago. It still seems surreal, but I'm trying to continue to move forward. Thanks everyone this board continues to motivate me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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