Another friend question

[bellasue]

Assuming you were friends before the affair, and the BS knows this, how likely is it they will let you spend time together in the future?

 

I know it's not fair or right of me to think these things, but in my case the BS used to send me thank you notes for dealing with her WH in non sexual situations. Ironically, the notes usually said, "thanks for taking care of WH and making him happy." Weird how things turn out.

 

Anyone else experience this?

[spice4life]

Hmm...very odd that she would send you thank you notes. I have not experienced that, but I can't say I would be surprised. My guess is probably not if they're advancing toward a new level in their marriage. Being friends with him would get in the way. If it were me I would wish them well and walk away - for you[/b] and your own sense of well being. The friendship died once you crossed the line into the affair. If you stay connected you will be holding onto a "dark cord" that plays a negative message in your mind if you had any feelings for him. Cut that cord so you can move on and be free to be happy for real and not as part of a fantasy.

[whichwayisup]

Assuming you were friends before the affair, and the BS knows this, how likely is it they will let you spend time together in the future?

 

I know it's not fair or right of me to think these things, but in my case the BS used to send me thank you notes for dealing with her WH in non sexual situations. Ironically, the notes usually said, "thanks for taking care of WH and making him happy." Weird how things turn out.

 

Anyone else experience this?

 

She trusted you, had no idea that you and her husband took advantage of her kindness and faith that you two were really "just" platonic friends.

 

She will never allow him to spend time with you. That is done. You two crossed the lines and the 'friendship' you once had before crossing lines and having the A, is over. The A ruined it.

 

She probably feels really foolish by having such blind trust and feels taken advantage of her good faith.

 

Are you holding onto hope that she will accept a friendship to continue?

[ComingInHot]

bellasue wrote, " Assuming you were friends before the affair, and the BS knows this, how likely is it they will let you spend time together in the future?

 

I know it's not fair or right of me to think these things, but in my case the BS used to send me thank you notes for dealing with her WH in non sexual situations. Ironically, the notes usually said, "thanks for taking care of WH and making him happy." Weird how things turn out.

 

Anyone else experience this?"

 

I'd probably guess No.

If they have a good councilor, they'll be told that Only Friends of the M be allowed. You are no longer a friend of their M.

 

Make new friends. Female friends. Single friends.

It's hard, I know.

But your actions & her H's actions have shown that being friends is No longer an option.

 

It sounds like her H has chosen his W. Try to respect that now. He had his opportunity to make a break and be w/you.

Maybe they will decide, after trying R, to D and he'll come find you. My hope is that if he does, You will be happily moved on w/someone that You love and is worthy of your love who loves you back*!

[underwater2010]

Assuming you were friends before the affair, and the BS knows this, how likely is it they will let you spend time together in the future?

 

Not at all. In fact that was a deal breaker for me. Any form of contact with his "friend" and I walk. No questions asked.

[Owl]

As you've already heard...BS's aren't likely to be willing to accept ANY kind of interaction in the future.

 

Your best bet is to recognize that the loss of that friendship was part of the price of the affair, learn from that painful lesson, and move on.

[RickFox]

No way in hell my W would let me be friends with xmw. Hell, she wouldn't even let her drop her daughter off to our daughter's Bday party. She wants nothing to do with her and expects the same of me.