blackendangel13 Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Ok I have posted here several times (see "Whats his deal") and broke up with my ex a little over 2 months ago. For awhile we were seeing each other afterwards and I have been doing the no contact thing for three weeks. In that time I have been doing wonderfully and been seeing someone else who treats me like a queen. We have been taking it super slow and he is post break-up also so nothing is complicated. Well anyway, Saturday is my ex's birthday and I am contemplating sending him a card. Nothing major or meaningful, just a blank card that says Happy Birthday. I don't want him to call me, and I am super worried about him showing up to a place where he knows I will be on Saturday. I just think its something I should do considering he was such a big part of my life. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 There is much less thought that goes into an e-card, as opposed to a real card. That way, you can still wish him happy birthday, but you won't give him the impression that you actually took time out of your day to run to HallMark, agonize over the card, pick it out, and finally pay for it, then stick it in the envelop, pay for the stamp, and send it out. go to http://www.bluemountain.com, or http://www.superlaugh.com/ . That way, there is much less hassel and no cost. don't want him to call me, and I am super worried about him showing up to a place where he knows I will be on Saturday. Do you have caller ID? Just ignore his calls. Also, if he does show up, just ignore him. Short of a restraining order, that's all you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 Thanks for the advice. I will not be answering his calls because thankfully I do have caller I.D. and do not want to get sucked back in. There is nothing I can do about him showing up though you are right. The only reason I have not sent him an e-card is because he doesnt check his email ever. So he will probably not get it till his next birthday. Link to post Share on other sites
JessicaAlmond Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 I agree go with the e-card it does seem less meaningful.. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 So he will probably not get it till his next birthday. Not to seem insensitive, but that's totally not your problem. He's lucky you're even considering making a nice gesture. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonestar Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 If you're not going to answer his calls and don't want to see him, then don't send him a birthday greeting. That's not right. You're initiating no contact and then choosing a one sided contact in order to make yourself feel good. If he still wants contact with you, that's not fair. You've got someone new in your life. Let your ex be. Don't string him along in any manner, but leave it a clean break. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 No thank you, sometimes I need a slap in the face when it comes to him. Now you see why I cant take his calls lol. No seriously you guys are right about the E-card. With the crap he has put me through he should be happy to get anything at all. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
Breathe Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 I agree with Lonestar - you shouldn't send anything. Just let it alone and go on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 You guys are probably right. I am in no way leading him on though, that was not the point of the card. I quit calling him and making contact because he was leading me on. Breaking up is just hard. He was my best friend and eventhough we haven't talked in three weeks I thought it was more of a friendly thing to do than a relationship thing to send him a card. It probably is a bad idea though and another excuse for me to hold on to something. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Gosh, I get my EX the same thing for every special occasion... a big box of jack sh*t nothing AND the knowledge that I'm much happier without his dumbass in my life... NOW that is the "gift" that just keeps on giving.... *Merin's Hallmark* Tee hee! Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted September 23, 2004 Author Share Posted September 23, 2004 Lol thanks for that one. Made my day! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Originally posted by blackendangel13 Lol thanks for that one. Made my day! You're Welcome Girl! Link to post Share on other sites
lilablue Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Listen to my story and tell me what you think" I met a guy at work and we dated for a while. However, we broke up because of communication problems. He left the area to go to grad school and I did a no contact with him for a month. I contacted him after the month by email. He responded casually. So, I sent another email and he really opened up to me and told me that he had thought of me and that I probably felt his vibe. I responded that I must have felt it because he had been on my mind. I have not heard from since him our email exchange last week. So, I sent him an e-card stating the following: Hello! I hope my emails have put a smile on your face. I haven't stop smiling since I got your replies to my emails. I am deeply appreciative of you being so candid and open with me. I had prayed for a honest and new beginning. I am often reminded of you when I hear the music of Anthony Hamilton on the radio. Maybe, Earth, Wind, & Fire has the same effect on you. He replied: Thank you. Is that a way of saying you miss me? What Do you REally think?? Is he interested??? Link to post Share on other sites
backspn Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Who broke up with who. People always leave this out and its very important to evrything we tell you. If you broke up with him then he is interested in your response....if you did than tell him you do miss him...if you really do. If he broke up with you then let him make more moves...but I have a feeling that you broke up with him. He wont make the first move cause you probably wanted space....its all on you now. Link to post Share on other sites
lilablue Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 I broke up with him. I replied back that IS it that OBVIOUS that I miss you I ended with a smiling face and the e-card had a smiling face. What do you think??? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 blackendangel13 I have one ex from over 10 years ago - we became friends & we do exchange greetings, cards, etc. But that is the only one I can think of. I agree with the others - don't send him anything. Maybe one day when you're well & truly over "it" & if you become friends then you can do the "friendly" thing. and lilablue I broke up with him. I replied back that IS it that OBVIOUS that I miss you I ended with a smiling face and the e-card had a smiling face. What do you think??? you should start your own thread - it's bad etiquette to hi-jack someone elses Link to post Share on other sites
lilablue Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 He just replied about me missing him :Just a bit Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted September 24, 2004 Author Share Posted September 24, 2004 Was the break-up messy? What kind of communication problems caused this? Link to post Share on other sites
lilablue Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 No not really. I cut it off because he was kinda disrespecting me. I wrote him the following e-mail xplaining why I could not see him anymore: About last night...I want to express to you my concerns about it. I was tired last night, however, I became discontented when you started getting sarcastic and testy with me when I questioned you about dinner,etc. This quickly reminded me of my last visit to your place when you became upset with me and gave me 10 minute time-outs, spoke rudely to me, and push me away from you when I try to get close to you. I personally feel that you do not have much respect for me and treat me like a stranger although we have known each other since February and have spent quality time together. I like you, but you make it difficult since you are quick to anger by the simplest things I say to you. Your behavior towards me is inconsistent. On Monday, I thought you had fun with me. However, last night, the tone in your voice indicated to me that you were already upset with me about nothing. I realize that in my tired state last night and with you acting petulant, that joining you last night would result in a less than desirable evening. It should not have to be so difficult for us. I want to build a friendship with you regardless of the fact that you will be in school for the next three years. But, I do not want to change you if this is who you are. I only hope that you can see my point of view and realize that I do my damnedest to be a good friend and lover to you. I don't wish you ill harm, but I want the best for you, as I want the best for myself. However, he has being humbled by grad school and being a broke full-time student. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blackendangel13 Posted September 24, 2004 Author Share Posted September 24, 2004 Well if you say he is being humbled and what not him acting this way might be a way of him boosting his self-esteem. He may not be interested at all and just know that you care about him and it makes him feel better about himself. Although everyone is different and this may not be the case. My advice is just to keep up a good guard. Try not to tell him these things to make his head swell. If he asks if you miss him just say "I think about you sometimes" and stay as vague as possible. Let him show you he has changed. Link to post Share on other sites
lilablue Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 You are right. He asked if my last email meant that I missed him? I told him does it seem that obvious. He replied," Just a bit." I just sent him an email and I did not acknowledge the missing him. I did tell him that maybe I will see him when I visit my relatives in Fl for christmas. In his last email, he stated, "Yeah, maybe we bump into eachother someday." I hope I did not screw it up??? I think he is keeping his guard up again. Link to post Share on other sites
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