Devestated!!!

[Scot]

I am devestated. I went from being the happiest man alive after my girlfriend said yes to my proposal and she also moved all of her stuff into my house and six days later we get in a fight and it becomes unresolved and the next day she files a restraining order. She states in the order that she was trying to break up and I would not let her. There was no physical abuse involved. I was just insistent that she stay and talk it out and she kept insisting on leaving to be by herself for awhile. She is the nicest woman I have ever met and we both have sons from different marriages only 6 months apart. We were together almost 27 months. The love we have for each other I know is there. It's just all the other little things that continued to get in the way. I have never felt so much hurt in all my life. I lived for that woman and now I can't even talk to her. I fear for my psychological well being. I need new reasons in my life. She was all I ever lived for. Her and our kids. Love does not hurt; the absence of love hurts.

[Beesting]

Devestation is a murky area in psychotherapy because the only thing it serves to do is make treatment and recovery of situational depression (NOT clinical therefore antidepressants NOT necessary).

 

Why are you upset? At the loss or the betrayal of trust or both? You first need to understand what it is that you are mourning.

 

I must admit that if an arguemtn one week after an engagement resulted in the filing of a restraining order, there was a deeper problem there from the start. Perhaps she was ambigious about teh committment level that engagement results in. perhaps there was already difficulty in resolving conflict from teh get-go.

 

Either way, you must seek counseling with a liscenced therapist, not because that is a cure-all, but because I believe your situation merits professional help. There is a difficulty here in perception. Perhaps you could invite your ex for a session at least to have her feel safe in order to discuss things logically.

 

DO NOT approached her on your own. People associate licesure with credibility. She will be more willing to talk to you with the help of a therapist.

[Scot]

Devestation is a murky area in psychotherapy because the only thing it serves to do is make treatment and recovery of situational depression (NOT clinical therefore antidepressants NOT necessary).

 

Why are you upset? At the loss or the betrayal of trust or both? You first need to understand what it is that you are mourning. I must admit that if an arguemtn one week after an engagement resulted in the filing of a restraining order, there was a deeper problem there from the start. Perhaps she was ambigious about teh committment level that engagement results in. perhaps there was already difficulty in resolving conflict from teh get-go. Either way, you must seek counseling with a liscenced therapist, not because that is a cure-all, but because I believe your situation merits professional help. There is a difficulty here in perception. Perhaps you could invite your ex for a session at least to have her feel safe in order to discuss things logically. DO NOT approached her on your own. People associate licesure with credibility. She will be more willing to talk to you with the help of a therapist.

[Scot]

I think I am really upset at the fact she took these measures. You are right in thinking that she has problems resolving conflict. She is on Prozac, but I do not want to put the blame on that. I do not think that is the answer.

 

I would love for us to be able to talk this out, even if we never get back together which looks as if it is the case.

 

Thanks for the input!!

Devestation is a murky area in psychotherapy because the only thing it serves to do is make treatment and recovery of situational depression (NOT clinical therefore antidepressants NOT necessary).

 

Why are you upset? At the loss or the betrayal of trust or both? You first need to understand what it is that you are mourning. I must admit that if an arguemtn one week after an engagement resulted in the filing of a restraining order, there was a deeper problem there from the start. Perhaps she was ambigious about teh committment level that engagement results in. perhaps there was already difficulty in resolving conflict from teh get-go. Either way, you must seek counseling with a liscenced therapist, not because that is a cure-all, but because I believe your situation merits professional help. There is a difficulty here in perception. Perhaps you could invite your ex for a session at least to have her feel safe in order to discuss things logically. DO NOT approached her on your own. People associate licesure with credibility. She will be more willing to talk to you with the help of a therapist.