Estate Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 You sound over sensitive and needy. She sounds like a drama queen. Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 What kind of a loser calls himself Rick The Dick? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sibernox Posted May 8, 2013 Author Share Posted May 8, 2013 Thank you to everyone who has contributed. I do have a little update: Yesterday I picked her up from work, and on the car ride home, she told me that she missed a call from 'Rick the Dick' while she was working. I told her to call him back on the spot, and to put him on speaker-phone. I Don't know if that was the right call, but I couldn't help it. I am so sick and tired of getting cheated on. Anyways, after some resistance, she called him. Convo between them went something like this, after the initial hello's: Him: You sound like you're in a bad mood. Her: I am. Him: Well I can't help you with your bad mood over the phone, but if you hang out with me I might be able to. Her: I can't do that, I'm with my boyfriend Him: You're with your boyfriend right now or you have a boyfriend? Her: both He hangs up. Ten minutes later, he calls her back while she's at my place. Him: sorry about before, phone hung up Her: it's fine. what's up? Him: Did you wana hang out or no? Her: I told you I can't, I have a boyfriend. Him: oh ok Her: I don't really remember, but did I cheat on my boyfriend with you saturday night? (something I told her to ask if he called back) Him: yes Her: you piece of $hit, are you serious? whhy are you lying? Him: I'M a piece of ****? *hangs up* ----- I don't know what to do... It sounded like he was lying when he said she cheated on me, but I just can't be sure. There's no way for me to know, and it's killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
joemax Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 Again, very sketchy... Link to post Share on other sites
Estate Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 This is more on you than her man. She got drunk, probably swapped numbers with the guy, then SHE CALLED YOU! Guys are guys... if a girl who had a boyfriend gave me her number then she's obviously not very happy with the guy and I wouldn't care about him. I'd be more concerned with WHY this all happened. You sound super needy and controlling... if that is the way then the relationship is probably going down the tubes anyway due to that. This incident has zero relevance to whats really wrong with the relationship but from what you've told us it's clear you're not a good boyfriend in her eyes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 This is more on you than her man. She got drunk, probably swapped numbers with the guy, then SHE CALLED YOU! Guys are guys... if a girl who had a boyfriend gave me her number then she's obviously not very happy with the guy and I wouldn't care about him. I'd be more concerned with WHY this all happened. You sound super needy and controlling... if that is the way then the relationship is probably going down the tubes anyway due to that. This incident has zero relevance to whats really wrong with the relationship but from what you've told us it's clear you're not a good boyfriend in her eyes. Eh, she probably just likes the attention. Not much you can do about that. She's not really relationship material IMO. Maybe convert her to FWB? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sibernox Posted May 8, 2013 Author Share Posted May 8, 2013 (edited) sibernox I think you blew it with your girlfriend who probably did nothing wrong Inviting attention from guys is not wrong? And why do you say I blew it? Please elaborate. I'm supposed to see her in a couple of hours to speak with her, don't know what I'll do. Can I even tell her I'm uncomfortable with her going out to bars for a while? Or do I tell her to do whatever she wants? Edited May 8, 2013 by sibernox Link to post Share on other sites
Estate Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 Eh, she probably just likes the attention. Not much you can do about that. She's not really relationship material IMO. Maybe convert her to FWB? There's no doubt she's acting like a drama queen but this needy insecure behavior by the OP? Incredibly unattractive and more than likely why she'd give her number to this guy in the first place. Lucky for him she had enough integrity to realize it and call HIM before doing anything with this other guy. I would take what that guy said on the phone with a pinch of salt, sounds like a douche. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 This is more on you than her man. She got drunk, probably swapped numbers with the guy, then SHE CALLED YOU! Guys are guys... if a girl who had a boyfriend gave me her number then she's obviously not very happy with the guy and I wouldn't care about him. I'd be more concerned with WHY this all happened. You sound super needy and controlling... if that is the way then the relationship is probably going down the tubes anyway due to that. This incident has zero relevance to whats really wrong with the relationship but from what you've told us it's clear you're not a good boyfriend in her eyes. I tend to agree. The OP is a major overreaction, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 Honestly, I think this is sort of an overreaction. I'm not saying women, even though they have boyfriends, should go to bars and flirt with men and accept all kinds of attention and phone numbers. But the girl called you to tell you a guy was bugging her, come get her. Of course she's going to talk to people, including the opposite sex, while out. That's sort of the point of going out. You'll even get some dudes who want to exchange numbers for things like cat exchanges, etc. It's not unheard of that she gave her number *truly* for the purpose of having him drop off some cats. Or just gave her number in general. People often are social animals even when in relationships. And this isn't coming from some young girl who wants to create a justification for sly cheating or sly flirting. I'm well into my 30s, have been in a five and a half year relationship in which I never cheated (and I count a kiss on the lips as cheating), and am currently in a relationship of 9 months in which I have never cheated, nor do I go to bars much. But I happened to be in one last night (more like a restaurant that had lots of cocktails; still quite enough of a 'bar feel' to be called a bar), with my boyfriend, for the book reception of a friend of mine. I talked to a bunch of men, and am more social in general than my boyfriend. Also, I'd say that there have been various times that I, while in a relationship, briefly humored some guy's interest in me via text. Very briefly and very light. And it wasn't 'encouraging' them. It was more like "haha...i'm flattered. you'll find someone soon though" (and other than that, just talking about regular things). Not ongoing, ever. I'm not saying cheating doesn't happen, but trust me when I say plenty of women out there aren't trying to cheat on you just because they talk to a guy who's interested in them, for like a day. If it's ongoing, that's another thing. But if it's that they traded a few texts and it was purely joking/light/social...and then let it trail off, that really isn't, in my mind, a huge deal. I think relationships are important and should be respected, but one thing I don't like about them is the way people hold each other so close, feel easily threatened by anyone of the opposite sex. People protect the sanctity of their relationship by saying "just don't put yourself even remotely in the realm of any possible even slight temptation," and to me, that is a bit too much. I wouldn't want to keep someone on so short a leash. I mean, how satisfying is it to know that the main reason they stay with you is that their exposure to others, including their charms and mild attempts at winning over, is strictly overseen and curbed? I'm not saying that one shouldn't be wary of a girlfriend who flirts with guys at bars, but I'd judge this on a case by case basis. And from what you've written here, it seems like an overreaction so far. Oh yeah, last fall I had a guy text me off and on for about a month. He knew I had a boyfriend but kept trying anyway. I was nice to him. And I"d given him my number under similar circumstances as your gf....some sort of hobby, event, info-relaying, etc. Never saw him in person, never cheated. Never even wanted to. I just don't go around saying "I can't talk to you, period, because I have a boyfriend." This, times ten. ::applause:: Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Dude, that conversation was WAY to comfortable for someone that gave out her number for kittens. AND the dude didn't know that she had a boyfriend. She never told him and he was surprised and pissed enough to hang up on her when she told him. Wouldn't you think that a girl that was 100% dedicated to her boyfriend would make that fact known upfront? Then, perhaps she wouldn't have gotten in a situation that required your assistance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 She felt uncomfortable with him yet she gave out her number and still continued to text him and call him? The last time I got uncomfortable with any guy, I blocked their number or I blocked their calls (this is 2013, all smartphones can block calls and sms). No guy is that important especially if she had met him on a night out. Link to post Share on other sites
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