MM wants to go ahead proceeding with our plan

[2sunny]

Alright...in order to avoid being further distracted from the subject of this post, what I summerize here is that let us wait and see, to see how things play out.

 

It is what it is right now, too late say any could/should/would have.

 

So far he has been delivering all the promises or any request I have ever asked, even very difficult ones.

 

And this time, he is the one saying the timeline, and challenging me the purpose to wait longer. Will see.

 

I hope you get what you want from I'm... But from this vantage point - I can't understand how you view this as a positive decision for yourself.

[2sunny]

Ha, it seems you already have my life planned out. At this point, as MM keeps saying that he wants to tell wife and asks for D next month, I am pretty much nervous. Even today I try to convince him to postone till July...

 

I also asked him what if MM's wife wants to reconcile, MM said he just wants me....etc.

 

I told him he/myself need to make sure the repercussion to be minimal impact. And he seems to have plan out, as he talks out our future house...etc.

 

Not sure if he is just saying it, but over past 11/12 months, he always delivered every words/promise he told me, even sometimes I asked for very strange/demanding request, he always made it happen.

 

You are encouraging him to lie more? Lie longer?

 

Think about that - it's the basis of your relationship with him.

 

I feel sorry for you Mount - that you find this acceptable.

 

It's not!

[Mount]

I am not quite getting what you tried to say?

 

I hope you get what you want from I'm... But from this vantage point - I can't understand how you view this as a positive decision for yourself.

[Mount]

Ah...I see. basically he was saying the same thing to me - what is the point to wait more time. So guess he or you are right...let him do the right thing to break the Affair news to wife. And he also told me he would tell her we (he and me) had been seeing each other almost one year..guess he really does not lie except A with me?

 

You are encouraging him to lie more? Lie longer?

 

Think about that - it's the basis of your relationship with him.

 

I feel sorry for you Mount - that you find this acceptable.

 

It's not!

[2sunny]

I am not quite getting what you tried to say?

 

You are settling Mount - and that's never a good thing.

 

Now you even state he may want you for your money! Come on - why would you need a man that desperately?

 

I hope you can see how awful this looks for you.

[2sunny]

Ah...I see. basically he was saying the same thing to me - what is the point to wait more time. So guess he or you are right...let him do the right thing to break the Affair news to wife. And he also told me he would tell her we (he and me) had been seeing each other almost one year..guess he really does not lie except A with me?

 

you're joking, right?

 

No one is that naive. MM lie - it's the basis of their whole being.

 

You can't change the cheating part of him - that's who he is - a cheater!

 

The question is - why is that acceptable to YOU?

 

You need counseling Mount.

Edited May 9, 2013 by 2sunny

[Mount]

That I was joking....he does not need my money for sure. His salary is over 4 times than mine.

 

I dont understand why you say desperately? Did I mention enough I did not have any feeling or likeness with soooo many single guys I have dated, doesn't matter how much they tried to woo me, or even I tried, tried to be reluctantly making myself like them, but I just don't.

 

Again, pls open your eyes that right now the MM is setting timeline, not me. He wants me, and of course I love him too. Yes he is cheating, but me is also part of it. It is what it is, leturing or preaching is not helpful here in this forum.

 

You are settling Mount - and that's never a good thing.

 

Now you even state he may want you for your money! Come on - why would you need a man that desperately?

 

I hope you can see how awful this looks for you.

[Mount]

Again, I dont know what is going on with you? Why do you think the world is pure, clean, innocent...?

 

Everybody lies, big or small, fraud, compromising, you don't know they did or are doing, it does not mean they did not do the ugly thing - you just don't know.

 

Again, it is REALLY pointless and wasting time to discuss that. I firmly believe complaining, bitching, bitterness never working , or never being postive thing if you want to achieve something.

 

Time will tell, and action will make it happen. That is it, simple.

 

you're joking, right?

 

No one is that naive. MM lie - it's the basis of their whole being.

 

You can't change the cheating part of him - that's who he is - a cheater!

 

The question is - why is that acceptable to YOU?

 

You need counseling Mount.

[2sunny]

That I was joking....he does not need my money for sure. His salary is over 4 times than mine.

 

I dont understand why you say desperately? Did I mention enough I did not have any feeling or likeness with soooo many single guys I have dated, doesn't matter how much they tried to woo me, or even I tried, tried to be reluctantly making myself like them, but I just don't.

 

Again, pls open your eyes that right now the MM is setting timeline, not me. He wants me, and of course I love him too. Yes he is cheating, but me is also part of it. It is what it is, leturing or preaching is not helpful here in this forum.

 

You are giving your own information on why it looks desperate.

 

Wy need any man - much less one that is taken?

 

Why not be happy all on your own? Then leave room when you are happy to attract a happy available man after you get to a healthier mindset?

 

 

Time will show IF he actually tells his W - if that's what he intends - then it may as well be now - as in today. Then see if he actually tells her.

 

MM love to build false hope - and future fake.

 

Heck, you've been like a yo yo with this dude!

 

Allowing him that much power over your emotions and putting yourself in that position is always a HUGE risk that is CERTAIN to bring MAJOR drama!

 

But you have no one to blame but yourself - because you are choosing it.

[2sunny]

Again, I dont know what is going on with you? Why do you think the world is pure, clean, innocent...?

 

Everybody lies, big or small, fraud, compromising, you don't know they did or are doing, it does not mean they did not do the ugly thing - you just don't know.

 

Again, it is REALLY pointless and wasting time to discuss that. I firmly believe complaining, bitching, bitterness never working , or never being postive thing if you want to achieve something.

 

Time will tell, and action will make it happen. That is it, simple.

 

My world is good and pure because I make choices based on not causing harm to myself or others.

 

I have friends and family that live in that same mindset.

 

Why would you view the world otherwise, Mount?

 

 

And I don't see my views as "bitching" or "complaining" at all.

 

Maybe you don't recognize truth when you see it?

[Mount]

Am I here blaming myself ??- where did you get such idea? Did you even see many my posts here whining, complaining..like crazy women? Pls do not project anything your life or youself upon other people.

 

Again, I don't even expect him to build anything yet, he said that himself not me. So I am very ease on what he said about timeline or whatever he perceived us as future whatever, because I am not the one saying that.

 

And I said many times I know what I want, not being emotionless, but I firmly believe excessive emotion DOES NOT HELP on anything for a person, lifewise and workwise and/or anything.

 

 

 

You are giving your own information on why it looks desperate.

 

Wy need any man - much less one that is taken?

 

Why not be happy all on your own? Then leave room when you are happy to attract a happy available man after you get to a healthier mindset?

 

 

Time will show IF he actually tells his W - if that's what he intends - then it may as well be now - as in today. Then see if he actually tells her.

 

MM love to build false hope - and future fake.

 

Heck, you've been like a yo yo with this dude!

 

Allowing him that much power over your emotions and putting yourself in that position is always a HUGE risk that is CERTAIN to bring MAJOR drama!

 

But you have no one to blame but yourself - because you are choosing it.

[2sunny]

I can't follow you now - this doesn't even make sense.

 

Your not addressing the real issues - you really need help Mount.

 

Please - as said many times - get intensive counseling to help you sort out your issues.

[2sunny]

And I was pointing out that you are responsible for your decisions - so, yes, each person owns how they participate.

 

I can't understand how this decision would make you proud of yourself.

 

Stop acting like you're at the mercy of him. You're blowing around like a feather in the wind - and that makes him the wind.

 

Take a stand for yourself! What do you stand for Mount?

[Mount]

When you said many times and DOES NOT take effect....that means useless, correct?

 

Alright, guess we are on DIFFERENT PAGEs, and you can perceive anything you want to see, he blows me like wind, or I can/have been manipulated him do anything for me, even something he was not supposed to do.

 

Anyway, you are mostly welcome to visit other posters' page. Enough said and time is precious for everyone I suppose.

 

 

I can't follow you now - this doesn't even make sense.

 

Your not addressing the real issues - you really need help Mount.

 

Please - as said many times - get intensive counseling to help you sort out your issues.

[2sunny]

No Mount - I said you ALLOW him to blow you around. That makes YOU responsible for your actions.

 

"He blows you around" would put the blame on him - making you the victim... You aren't the victim of him - you are the victim of yourself - by your own choices.

 

Big difference!

 

That's why I said you are responsible for how you participate.

 

 

But you seem to be moving away from owning your behavior - and that's why I think counseling would help you grow.

[Mount]

My whole this post was telling the logistic thing and details, and I was not asking to have lecture or preach about moral standard (this forum is about OW, OM, MM, MW, affair - remember?).

 

For the following bold part, you even don't know about me at all, and you jumped on the conclusion that who I was supposed to be...etc

 

Did my post start with any topic regarding victim? And what is point to talk about this at this my post?

 

Again, lectureing or preaching about victim or whatever is so pointless or so wrong here in this post, is totally away from the content or what I was asking/talking about from the beginning of the post. So pls post away and your angriness or whatever emotion need to be addressed in your business by professional or whatever, not here in my post.

 

Also, did I ever complaint or blame someone else from the very first my post here from last year up to now? Never...I always know I am doing, I am fully aware the possible consequence, I dont / never like bitching/complaining feeling/eomotion... like most the people do here, because everyone's destiny is made by themselves.

 

I really have no time to post back related to those kind of uselss moral discussion, that is not the point of this post. Pls post away to "save" other women here.

 

 

No Mount - I said you ALLOW him to blow you around. That makes YOU responsible for your actions.

 

"He blows you around" would put the blame on him - making you the victim... You aren't the victim of him - you are the victim of yourself - by your own choices.

 

Big difference!

 

That's why I said you are responsible for how you participate.

 

 

But you seem to be moving away from owning your behavior - and that's why I think counseling would help you grow.

Edited May 9, 2013 by Mount

[2sunny]

Ok Mount. Yes, your decisions make your destiny.

 

I hope your decisions make you happy.

[Mount]

Realistically, my decision would require his collaboration as well, just like everyone's decision would require people surrounding you to work together in order to make it happen.

 

As said million times here again, no one would force anyone else doing things she/he would not want to do. Every result is an outcome of collaboration , not a soley emotional wishful thinking, or should/could/would talking.

 

Yes, will see.

 

 

Ok Mount. Yes, your decisions make your destiny.

 

I hope your decisions make you happy.

[Owl]

OK...so after reading this, I'm still lost.

 

What's "our plan"? What's the timeline to that plan? The individual steps needed to implement that plan? The final "goal" of that plan?

 

If you've not spelled it out like this...perhaps it's time to do so?

[Mount]

That is the down-side that when some posters replied with lots of moral education, talking about emotion, feeling, victim or being victim...etc, that totally distracts the WHOLE main content/point of the post.

 

As I wrote clearly if reader patiently enough to dig in the information, MM said he wants to out A to wife next month and asks for D, then he said he wants us to move together; He will get a house if wife stays in their current house...etc. Remember, what he proposed is mainly by his thoughts/will...whatever.

 

Also, if MM does deliver what he said, I will collaborate with him to proceed.

 

Right now I am just very calmly to see what is next. That is it. Hope it is clear enough by me summerzing again.

 

 

OK...so after reading this, I'm still lost.

 

What's "our plan"? What's the timeline to that plan? The individual steps needed to implement that plan? The final "goal" of that plan?

 

If you've not spelled it out like this...perhaps it's time to do so?

[Got it]

Mount, my thoughts are if a month is an acceptable time period to wait, see how things play out. Like they say in business, prepare for the worst hope for the best.

 

But have a back up plan in place if things don't happen as planned, go through the "what if" scenarios, play through your possible reactions/decisions and so no matter what happens you are somewhat prepared for next steps.

 

Focus on your other areas of your life, don't become consumed with what he is or isn't doing, and nurture your family, friends, and other interests. Keep being Mount, living your life, enjoying it at 100%.

[2sunny]

That is the down-side that when some posters replied with lots of moral education, talking about emotion, feeling, victim or being victim...etc, that totally distracts the WHOLE main content/point of the post.

 

As I wrote clearly if reader patiently enough to dig in the information, MM said he wants to out A to wife next month and asks for D, then he said he wants us to move together; He will get a house if wife stays in their current house...etc. Remember, what he proposed is mainly by his thoughts/will...whatever.

 

Also, if MM does deliver what he said, I will collaborate with him to proceed.

 

Right now I am just very calmly to see what is next. That is it. Hope it is clear enough by me summerzing again.

 

So you leave yourself at the mercy of what MOM will or will not do? Do I have that right?

[Owl]

That is the down-side that when some posters replied with lots of moral education, talking about emotion, feeling, victim or being victim...etc, that totally distracts the WHOLE main content/point of the post.

 

As I wrote clearly if reader patiently enough to dig in the information, MM said he wants to out A to wife next month and asks for D, then he said he wants us to move together; He will get a house if wife stays in their current house...etc. Remember, what he proposed is mainly by his thoughts/will...whatever.

 

Also, if MM does deliver what he said, I will collaborate with him to proceed.

 

Right now I am just very calmly to see what is next. That is it. Hope it is clear enough by me summerzing again.

 

Understood...but realize that from my perspective, this is merely a list of things he said...not a plan of action with specific steps, timelines, nor clearly defined goals spelled out and jointly agreed upon.

 

And the biggest emphasis on all of this is right where you placed it...it's what he's said...not what he's DONE.

[ComingInHot]

Mount wrote, "Ha, it seems you already have my life planned out. At this point, as MM keeps saying that he wants to tell wife and asks for D next month, I am pretty much nervous."

 

Why are you nervous Mount?

I ask because a few hours later you posted, "So I am very ease on what he said about timeline or whatever he perceived us as future whatever, because I am not the one saying that."

 

I think you have more emotion than you let on here because of your reply to 2Sunny, "That is the down-side that when some posters replied with lots of moral education, talking about emotion, feeling, victim or being victim...etc,"

Otherwise, all this talk of being Moral & Ethical & having emotions for more than just yourself etc... would have rolled off.

 

Ya know Mount, it's OKAY to want to talk logically and realistically about things. I think the issue for many of us is that we don't find Affairs, cheating, infidelity, sharing bodily fluids w/three people and so on neither logical nor realistic.

To some of us, A's really do show a lack or lapse in morals/moral judgment and they are not ethical and they Do raise a-lot of emotions within us.

I don't necessarily believe I am stating this as a BW or for all BS's but for some AP's & WS's as well and others on involved in an A situation.

 

But I DO think that you said it the best in that this whole thread is an "UPDATE" on your CURRENT Stitch and the OUTCOME is yet to be REVEALED but the date or time is set.

We will see then and honestly Mount, I think you can be pretty cool* and I want you to have a happy future*

CIH

[2sunny]

That is the down-side that when some posters replied with lots of moral education, talking about emotion, feeling, victim or being victim...etc, that totally distracts the WHOLE main content/point of the post.

 

As I wrote clearly if reader patiently enough to dig in the information, MM said he wants to out A to wife next month and asks for D, then he said he wants us to move together; He will get a house if wife stays in their current house...etc. Remember, what he proposed is mainly by his thoughts/will...whatever.

 

Also, if MM does deliver what he said, I will collaborate with him to proceed.

 

Right now I am just very calmly to see what is next. That is it. Hope it is clear enough by me summerzing again.

 

So he said he's got this plan - and his plan also depends on what his wife decides to do?

 

So now you've placed your future and life not only on what HE may or may not DO - but it's now also dependent on what his wife decides too?

 

Sheez, that's now two other people removed from being TOTALLY and SOLEY IN CHARGE of YOUR LIFE Mount.

 

My life isn't dependent on what others decide to do or not do - that is strictly up to ME and MY CONSCIENCE!

 

You need to become more in charge of your own decisions and life plan - in order to become happy on your own.