How is it possible nobody thinks you're attractive?

[JuneJulySeptember]

Ok, I'll explain.

 

Hot people like hot people.

 

Cute people like hot people and cute people.

 

And average people like average, cute and hot people.

 

But there lies an unsaid Mason-Dixon line where nobody finds you attractive.

 

Let's just say for every man who is of a certain level of unattractiveness, given the ratios of population in this world, there are several women who are equally unattractive. Not just saying it. It's the case. So, somebody could easily ask, "How could I have gone through two or three decades of life with no or very, very few people finding me physically attractive. I must have passed thousands of people who are of at least equal attractiveness in my life just going through my daily routine"

 

I think the answer is because at a certain point people no longer find their equals attractive, but only everything above them. At what point do you guys think that is?

 

Opines?

[charlietheginger]

no one likes ugly people

[carhill]

How is it possible nobody thinks you're attractive?

 

Anything is possible and it's also entirely possible you'll never really know one way or another for as long as you shall live.

[xxoo]

There was a story in the news this week about a woman who got a face transplant. Back in 2007, her estranged husband attacked her with lye, burning her entire face. She was scarred to the point that the news would warn viewers before displaying her image.

 

She has her new face, is alive to raise her children, and is very grateful. Better yet, she has a boyfriend. She and her piano teacher fell in love....before the face transplant. Her name is Carmen Tarleton, if you want to look her up.

 

Stories like that are why, no, I don't believe anyone is too physically unattractive to find a mate. Physical beauty is not required for love.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

There was a story in the news this week about a woman who got a face transplant. Back in 2007, her estranged husband attacked her with lye, burning her entire face. She was scarred to the point that the news would warn viewers before displaying her image.

 

She has her new face, is alive to raise her children, and is very grateful. Better yet, she has a boyfriend. She and her piano teacher fell in love....before the face transplant. Her name is Carmen Tarleton, if you want to look her up.

 

Stories like that are why, no, I don't believe anyone is too physically unattractive to find a mate. Physical beauty is not required for love.

 

Sorry for going off-topic, OP.

 

But this woman's story is a perfect example of why you shouldn't cheat on your spouse. Apparently, he caught her with another man and when crazy...beat her with a baseball bat and threw chemicals on her.

 

I'm not saying she deserved it, but she certainly could have avoided this situation by simply getting a divorce.

 

Again, sorry for stealing the thread, OP, but this really is a good lesson.

[KungFuJoe]

Sorry for going off-topic, OP.

 

But this woman's story is a perfect example of why you shouldn't cheat on your spouse. Apparently, he caught her with another man and when crazy...beat her with a baseball bat and threw chemicals on her.

 

I'm not saying she deserved it, but she certainly could have avoided this situation by simply getting a divorce.

 

Again, sorry for stealing the thread, OP, but this really is a good lesson.

 

Are you freakin serious with this?

 

Wow.

[MissBee]

I don't think it's possible to be someone that no one on earth is attracted to. For every kind of look there is, someone likes it, and also, being attracted to someone is hardly ever only looks. I see plenty of physically hot guys who I am not drawn to, I don't think anything sexual about, they are just handsome and that's it. Then I have guys who may not be as hot on a physical level but their quirks, manner of carrying themselves, mind, the chemistry between us is just riiiight and sizzling and I'm very attracted to them.

 

I have seen people who are not that attractive (to me) or who may even be disfigured and they have wedding rings on or a bf/gf, likewise I see people who personality wise I'm like WHO would be attracted to you??? But sure enough, they have a partner.

 

Some people may have a look that lots of people are attracted to and some less so, but everyone has their group of people who will be attracted to them.

[somedude81]

The reason this happens is because women are very, peculiar. It's much more complicated than it seems to win a woman's fancy.

 

Men are willing to accept far more from a woman than the other way around, simply because men want women more than women want men. A guy would put up with so much just to be with a woman. But if a guy isn't classically attractive and a little insecure, he will be shunned by women.

[outsidethebox]

I won't say you're wrong, OP, but I do think less than cute people do hook up with each other and that there isn't some sort of I think I'm cuter than I really am and won't settle for less than what I think I deserve just because they don't think I'm as cute as I think I am as a general rule. Sure some people may be like that but not to where you can draw some rule out of it.

[USMCHokie]

So, somebody could easily ask, "How could I have gone through two or three decades of life with no or very, very few people finding me physically attractive. I must have passed thousands of people who are of at least equal attractiveness in my life just going through my daily routine"

 

Emphasis added.

 

These people are likely not as attractive as they think they are. So these "thousands" of people are probably more attractive than them.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Emphasis added.

 

These people are likely not as attractive as they think they are. So these "thousands" of people are probably more attractive than them.

 

It doesn't matter how ugly you are though.

 

If you are not disfigured or a dwarf, there are thousands of people of the opposite sex in the same league category, subjectively.

 

Even if you are a man and a solid 1 or 2, there are thousands upon thousands of women who are also a 1 or 2. So, it makes sense that they should find you hot.

 

But, not the case.

[JuneJulySeptember]

 

I have seen people who are not that attractive (to me) or who may even be disfigured and they have wedding rings on or a bf/gf, likewise I see people who personality wise I'm like WHO would be attracted to you??? But sure enough, they have a partner.

 

Some people may have a look that lots of people are attracted to and some less so, but everyone has their group of people who will be attracted to them.

 

A lot of unattractive people are able to get a mate because either the other person doesn't care that much about looks, or settled.

 

But I'm talking about pure attractiveness, "I think you're hot!"

 

I think there are TONS of people, especially guys, who nobody has ever thought was hot.

[USMCHokie]

It doesn't matter how ugly you are though.

 

If you are not disfigured or a dwarf, there are thousands of people of the opposite sex in the same league category, subjectively.

 

Even if you are a man and a solid 1 or 2, there are thousands upon thousands of women who are also a 1 or 2. So, it makes sense that they should find you hot.

 

But, not the case.

 

No, not hot...remember, they don't find you attractive because you are attractive. They find you attractive enough to be with because that's all they can attract. It's either settle for you or don't mate.

 

My mantra is that you're only as attractive as what you can attract.

[USMCHokie]

I think there are TONS of people, especially guys, who nobody has ever thought was hot.

 

Indeed. Yet women have an uncanny way of raising their perception of a guy's overall attractiveness through his non-physical traits...so he may lack physical attractiveness, but his personality may make up for it in his overall attractiveness.

[big bear]

Ah the beauty conundrum. My take is this commercial. Watch it:

 

Dove New Commercial - 'Real Beauty Sketches' - YouTube

 

The point is firstly, beauty is skin deep and appreciate who you are and how you look.

Edited May 6, 2013 by big bear

[USMCHokie]

The point is firstly, beauty is skin deep and appreciate who you are and how you look.

 

Sure, this is all well and fine if you plan on a life by yourself. If you want to spend it with someone else, then others need to be able to appreciate who you are and how you look.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Ah the beauty conundrum. My take is this commercial. Watch it:

 

Dove New Commercial - 'Real Beauty Sketches' - YouTube

 

The point is firstly, beauty is skin deep and appreciate who you are and how you look.

 

So funny that you linked that.

 

I saw that the other day on Youtube. You know what I thought?

 

Those women wish they were prettier, but still reject tons of guys who they deem to be not attractive enough for them.

 

Aren't I a ray of sunshine?

 

No better place than the internet to be honest.

[JuneJulySeptember]

No, not hot...remember, they don't find you attractive because you are attractive. They find you attractive enough to be with because that's all they can attract. It's either settle for you or don't mate.

 

My mantra is that you're only as attractive as what you can attract.

 

Yes.

 

But there is a line where you are generally very happy and attracted to your mate and think they are dayum hot. I think a lot of average/cute people can achieve this.

 

So, there is an imaginary line under which people who hook up with their equal, at least lookswise, are unhappy and settling.

 

Where is that line?

[USMCHokie]

Where is that line?

 

It moves based on what you can attract. If you start attracting attention from more attractive people, then your idea of what is attractive will start shifting.

 

For example, you have two married people who are relatively average/cute, and they are attracted to each other. The wife (or husband) begins to go to the gym more and improve her physique and physical fitness; she starts wearing better clothes for her improved physique; and she learns how to apply makeup properly. Other men start noticing her and giving her attention. This is a textbook case of that line moving. Before, she was perfectly happy with her man and found him attractive. However, as she began attracting more attractive men than her husband, she begins to feel like she is unhappy and settling.

 

So once again, you are only as attractive as what you can attract. That "line" you're talking about is always moving. Sometimes people initially draw that line with a partner when they realize, "well sh*t, it ain't gonna get any better than this, so I must as well just lock it down now..."

[xxoo]

A lot of unattractive people are able to get a mate because either the other person doesn't care that much about looks, or settled.

 

But I'm talking about pure attractiveness, "I think you're hot!"

 

I think there are TONS of people, especially guys, who nobody has ever thought was hot.

 

You want to isolate physical attraction, but it doesn't work that way--esp for women. Strong sexual attraction can come from things other than pure physical attractiveness.

[xxoo]

It moves based on what you can attract. If you start attracting attention from more attractive people, then your idea of what is attractive will start shifting.

 

For example, you have two married people who are relatively average/cute, and they are attracted to each other. The wife (or husband) begins to go to the gym more and improve her physique and physical fitness; she starts wearing better clothes for her improved physique; and she learns how to apply makeup properly. Other men start noticing her and giving her attention. This is a textbook case of that line moving. Before, she was perfectly happy with her man and found him attractive. However, as she began attracting more attractive men than her husband, she begins to feel like she is unhappy and settling.

 

Unless the sex with her H is the kind that makes a woman completely addicted to a man. Hot sex is not dependent on physical hotness. There is a way into a woman's sexual pleasure centers that is not visual at all.

[GoodOnPaper]

But I'm talking about pure attractiveness, "I think you're hot!"

 

What would prove to you that you're "hot"? Being able to attract someone -- to whom you are also attracted -- for a ONS or other casual sex situation?

 

I think there are TONS of people, especially guys, who nobody has ever thought was hot.

 

I wouldn't be surprised. I'm pretty confident that I'm in this category even though I've been married for almost 20 years to someone who from the get-go was more into me than I was into her. Yet her attraction style is . . . different . . . than the pure intensity that I imagine happens between two people are drawn to one another for casual sex. While she is very drawn to me, it's more like "I-want-sex-because-it's-a-component-of-our-relationship" rather than a "I-want-sex-because-you're-hot" thing. It's difficult to put into words, but my point is that you should be aware of what you are looking for in regards to how a woman expresses her attraction to you. I think this "line" you are looking for will have to be figured out on a case-by-case basis.

[man_in_the_box]

The wife (or husband) begins to go to the gym more and improve her physique and physical fitness; she starts wearing better clothes for her improved physique; and she learns how to apply makeup properly. Other men start noticing her and giving her attention. This is a textbook case of that line moving. Before, she was perfectly happy with her man and found him attractive. However, as she began attracting more attractive men than her husband, she begins to feel like she is unhappy and settling.

 

Well it doesn't appear that I'm gettingdumped anytime soon nor have I noticed any signals that its coming. This phenomenon seems more like a individual characteristic than a completely situational one.

[KathyM]

Obviously, there are people who are not physically attractive, but they may have other great qualities about them that attract people, such as their great personality, their charm, their sense of humor, etc. That doesn't mean that their partner will find them physically attractive, but yet they are attracted to the person, and not just the shell. You seem to think that all people need to have physical attractiveness in order to attract someone, but that's just not the case. People are attracted to a variety of traits, and the combination will determine how attractive you are. If you are talking about physical looks only, obviously some will not be considered physically attractive by anyone. If a person doesn't have physical attractiveness going for them, they usually have other desirable traits that others may find attractive, such as a great sense of humor.

[USMCHokie]

If a person doesn't have physical attractiveness going for them, they usually have other desirable traits that others may find attractive, such as a great sense of humor.

 

And if they don't have other desirable traits...?

 

The key assumption you make here is that ugly people usually have great personalities...how do you come to that conclusion...?