How is it possible nobody thinks you're attractive?

[xxoo]

And if they don't have other desirable traits...?

 

The key assumption you make here is that ugly people usually have great personalities...how do you come to that conclusion...?

 

If a person has zero desirable traits, people will be repelled. At that point, is it really about appearance? If that person could gain a few desirable traits, where would physical appearance fall in importance?

[Mme. Chaucer]

It can't be proven that there's anyone on the planet whom nobody thinks is attractive. Unless you can present that person to every other human. Which you can't.

 

So stop worrying and complaining and make yourself an interesting and vital person. People like that. And even if they don't, you will be miles ahead of where you are right now.

[USMCHokie]

If a person has zero desirable traits, people will be repelled. At that point, is it really about appearance? If that person could gain a few desirable traits, where would physical appearance fall in importance?

 

If someone started with zero desirability, I personally believe that improving physical appearance first will prove to be substantially more useful for attracting others. But that's just my opinion based on my experience and reasoning.

[xxoo]

If someone started with zero desirability, I personally believe that improving physical appearance first will prove to be substantially more useful for attracting others. But that's just my opinion based on my experience and reasoning.

 

I think a lot of people here would agree with you, hence the focus on physical attractiveness on the dating forum.

 

But I don't agree. Being good looking is no substitute for character, personality, intelligence,etc. however, I am speaking from the point of view of choosing a partner, not getting laid.

[somedude81]

I think a lot of people here would agree with you, hence the focus on physical attractiveness on the dating forum.

 

But I don't agree. Being good looking is no substitute for character, personality, intelligence,etc. however, I am speaking from the point of view of choosing a partner, not getting laid.

Of course if one isn't good looking they need to have phenomenal levels of character, personality, intelligence,etc or else no one would consider dating them. This mainly applies to men as the vast majority of women do not have this issue.

[xxoo]

Of course if one isn't good looking they need to have phenomenal levels of character, personality, intelligence,etc or else no one would consider dating them. This mainly applies to men as the vast majority of women do not have this issue.

 

The millions and millions of married couples argue otherwise.

[USMCHokie]

Of course if one isn't good looking they need to have phenomenal levels of character, personality, intelligence,etc or else no one would consider dating them. This mainly applies to men as the vast majority of women do not have this issue.

 

No, it applies to both men and women, and I'd strongly argue that a zero desirability woman will gain considerably more from improving physical appearance than would the zero desirability man.

[candie13]

I remember this guy I met in highschool. He was short, rather chubby - with a belly, rather hairy - except for his head, he was slightly starting to get bald. He did have piercing blue eyes. No baby boy face though.

 

Anyway, he was a lady killer. Had the most charming personality, he had wit, knew how to talk, was reading even more than what he was eating (which was... a lot ).

 

bottom line: you make yourself attractive. You work hard at improving yourself. You get out of your comfort zone and talk to the others. Yes, this may be easier to some people and harder for others.

 

In the end, I seriously don't know any guy who managed to sleep with more girls, from my high school (he was older though). He did have an incredible record - including my cousin . It has been done before!

 

Attraction has little to have with looks - and this is especially true for men!

[USMCHokie]

I remember this guy I met in highschool. He was short, rather chubby - with a belly, rather hairy - except for his head, he was slightly starting to get bald. He did have piercing blue eyes. No baby boy face though.

 

Anyway, he was a lady killer. Had the most charming personality, he had wit, knew how to talk, was reading even more than what he was eating (which was... a lot ).

 

I'd be willing to wager $100 that he had a steady supply of drugs. In high school, you wouldn't believe how successful the unfortunate looking druggies are at attracting high school girls...

 

No, make that $500; I don't have to pay any taxes this year.

[somedude81]

The millions and millions of married couples argue otherwise.

So every person alive in the world is married?

 

If you want to argue with me, which I know you like doing, try and have something to back up what you are saying.

 

No, it applies to both men and women, and I'd strongly argue that a zero desirability woman will gain considerably more from improving physical appearance than would the zero desirability man.

Aside from some freak accident to mess up her face or in the very rare case that a woman is born so unfortunately disfigured, zero desirability women do not exist.

 

If you have any examples outside of the extreme, she was paralyzed or she is retarded or she weighs 400 lbs etc, I'd like to hear what you consider to be a zero desirability woman.

[somedude81]

I remember this guy I met in highschool. He was short, rather chubby - with a belly, rather hairy - except for his head, he was slightly starting to get bald. He did have piercing blue eyes. No baby boy face though.

 

Anyway, he was a lady killer. Had the most charming personality, he had wit, knew how to talk, was reading even more than what he was eating (which was... a lot ).

 

bottom line: you make yourself attractive. You work hard at improving yourself. You get out of your comfort zone and talk to the others. Yes, this may be easier to some people and harder for others.

 

In the end, I seriously don't know any guy who managed to sleep with more girls, from my high school (he was older though). He did have an incredible record - including my cousin . It has been done before!

 

Attraction has little to have with looks - and this is especially true for men!

He's an example of having one of the phenomenal traits that I mentioned a few posts up. If he wasn't lucky enough to have a very charming personality he wouldn't have had a tenth of the success that he had.

 

BTW the bit about getting out of your comfort zone and talking more to others, that doesn't affect dating at all. I'm far more sociable than I used to be. I talk to women all the time and yet I still have absolutely fail with them. Yes I can talk to them without fear now and like to socialize, but I have no idea how to attract them with my words.

[candie13]

yet! you have no idea how to attract them with your words... yet! but you are making huge progress. you are working on yourself, improving yourself, taking an interest in other people and what they might like. Asking yourself questions. That is great, because if you are asking yourself this question, chances are, you will get a few interesting answers!

 

How different is your attitude from that of a man who is defensive, aggressive, thinking he "deserves" someone to be attracted to him?

 

You are infinitely closer to becoming an attractive man. Infinitely closer. The key to success, IMHO is to get a few female friends... and to love women .

 

Word goes that that guy was absolutely crazy about women. And I don't mean in the sense of "he was in OD unless he was f*cking one". I mean he genuinely loved women. He loved how women would smell, how they walked, how they would act towards him, how their skin smelled... I could feel it. Women love to be the object of desire of a man. And I am sure that as a lover, he was all dedicated to pleasing women too...

 

I think embracing one's sexuality, no hung ups, desire to offer pleasure with no self interest... Word got around about what that guy could do - and my "sources" have confirmed that all the gossip was true, and then some .

 

I think if men don't fear women, if on the contrary, men love women and accept their sexuality... it's impossible for the spark not to happen. As a woman, that is how I feel, anyway!

[amaysngrace]

How is it possible that nobody thinks you're attractive???

 

Do you think you're attractive? That's one.

[xxoo]

So every person alive in the world is married?

 

If you want to argue with me, which I know you like doing, try and have something to back up what you are saying..

 

It's not personal, SD

 

You said:

 

Of course if one isn't good looking they need to have phenomenal levels of character, personality, intelligence,etc or else no one would consider dating them. This mainly applies to men as the vast majority of women do not have this issue.

 

My response was that millions of married people argue otherwise. Millions upon millions of physically unremarkable men are married. Do you really believe they all have phenomenal levels of character, personality, intelligence, etc? They don't! Most of them are average all around, and they not only found someone to date them, but they found someone to marry them. For every married hetero woman, there is a married hetero man. Who are all these women marrying? Men who are good looking or phenomenal in some other way? Absolutely not. Most are marrying someone much like themselves.

[MissBee]

Indeed. Yet women have an uncanny way of raising their perception of a guy's overall attractiveness through his non-physical traits...so he may lack physical attractiveness, but his personality may make up for it in his overall attractiveness.

 

Ditto! So I doubt there is any way to say there is a person out there that NO ONE has ever thought was attractive.

[GoodOnPaper]

Millions upon millions of physically unremarkable men are married. Do you really believe they all have phenomenal levels of character, personality, intelligence, etc? They don't! Most of them are average all around, and they not only found someone to date them, but they found someone to marry them. For every married hetero woman, there is a married hetero man. Who are all these women marrying? Men who are good looking or phenomenal in some other way? Absolutely not. Most are marrying someone much like themselves.

 

Be careful . . . you may burst that bubble some of us have about how being attractive or attracting someone we're attracted to is this major, next-to-impossible accomplishment.

[ltjg45]

Do you think you're attractive? That's one.

 

Me? Attractive?

 

Give me a break. That's the last word I would call myself.

 

I'm more insulted my mother would call me attractive.

[JuneJulySeptember]

What would prove to you that you're "hot"? Being able to attract someone -- to whom you are also attracted -- for a ONS or other casual sex situation?

 

Somebody calling me hot.

 

Simple as that.

 

Obviously, there are people who are not physically attractive, but they may have other great qualities about them that attract people, such as their great personality, their charm, their sense of humor, etc. That doesn't mean that their partner will find them physically attractive, but yet they are attracted to the person, and not just the shell. You seem to think that all people need to have physical attractiveness in order to attract someone, but that's just not the case. People are attracted to a variety of traits, and the combination will determine how attractive you are. If you are talking about physical looks only, obviously some will not be considered physically attractive by anyone. If a person doesn't have physical attractiveness going for them, they usually have other desirable traits that others may find attractive, such as a great sense of humor.

 

It's easy for somebody who has never had problems attracting others based on nothing but looks alone to say "just show your other qualities."

 

They don't realize how much of an uphill climb it is.

 

In any case, the point was more why don't unattractive people find unattractive people attractive. There's tons of unattractive people to go around.

[amaysngrace]

Me? Attractive?

 

Give me a break. That's the last word I would call myself.

 

I'm more insulted my mother would call me attractive.

 

Well if you don't find yourself attractive then how could you expect anyone else to?

 

You probably give off really bad vibes.

[KungFuJoe]

Well if you don't find yourself attractive then how could you expect anyone else to?

 

You probably give off really bad vibes.

 

This. I know I've said it a million times already, but how you perceive yourself and your overall attitude is a MAJOR MAJOR factor on how well you do with the opposite sex.

 

You ever wonder why it's easier to meet women when you already have a gf? It's not because women want to steal you away...it's because you don't give off that smell of desperation when you are already with someone.

[ltjg45]

This. I know I've said it a million times already, but how you perceive yourself and your overall attitude is a MAJOR MAJOR factor on how well you do with the opposite sex.

 

You ever wonder why it's easier to meet women when you already have a gf? It's not because women want to steal you away...it's because you don't give off that smell of desperation when you are already with someone.

 

I don't walk around desperate or annoyed or anything bad concerning me.

 

Hell, you can even see me try to smile at others and I'm pretty terrible at that.

 

But if anyone ever asks me if I like my life or I'm content with who I am, there is no way I can say anything positive concerning it. In fact, I rather not talk about it. I get to deal with bull**** every single day, just like now.

 

At this point, I feel like I am worthless until I find something worth doing, whatever that may be.