ssllmmee Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Hi everyone! About 1 month ago a very nice looking girl moved to the apartment block in front of mine. She's 28 years old (I'll tell you how I know it), apparently single and she's living alone there. On the other hand, I have been living here with my parents since I was born, 23 years ago. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't be living with my parents with my age but well, I'm Portuguese, unemployment rates are really high here so young adults have a tough time trying to find their first job. Living with parents until 26, 27 is the norm here, unfortunately. Anyway, moving on to the important part. I'm really attracted to this girl, which I don't find weird because my 2 ex girlfriends were also 5 years older than me and I only seem to feel attracted to women in their late 20's... Don't ask me why, I don't know and I don't care. Three weeks ago, I was on Facebook and against all the odds her profile appeared on my suggested friends list (probably because we have 2 friends in common). I recognised her immediately, but sent her a message saying something like "Hi, sorry for your profile invasion but your face looks familiar to me. Where do I know you from?". In the next day she saw the message but she didn't reply and hasn't done it so far. I later realised that my impulsive approach wasn't the best one but what's done it is done. Now, I'm perfectly aware that when a woman doesn't reply, 99% of the time is because she isn't interested or she doesn't care. But I would like to ask you if there is still something that I can do in order to change this. I've been trying to avoid her lately on the street because after being "rejected" I feel kind of weird when I see her. Thanks and have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Take her a home-made cake, (Yeah - you make a cake - or cookies....) and welcome her to the block. you know she's been there a while, but you thought you'd just let her settle in first....Tell her where you live, and that you hope she will be happy here. If she needs anything, you're just across the block. Would she like to come over for a coffee some time? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I'm just going to be blunt. Your initial approach was so terrible that she probably forgot about it quickly. It's like when you get spam emails - you click the delete button and you forget about it. The old "hey, you look familiar" line is so commonplace that she probably thought it actually was spam of some sort. I've been trying to avoid her lately on the street because after being "rejected" I feel kind of weird when I see her. Stop avoiding her. She didn't "reject" you, so stop feeling weird. Next time you see her, smile confidently at her and make non-creepy eye contact. Try chit-chatting with her. Bring up a topic common to the both of you, like stuff that happens in your neighborhood. Ask when trash day is, or something. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Don't over think it man. She probably has no idea it was even you. Link to post Share on other sites
Jbum5 Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 You live next door and you're still resorting to communicate over an overused social networking site with generic spam bot lines? Don't be a moron, it's likely that you'll run into her a few times on your way in and out of your home so during one of those times take a moment to say hi and make small talk. After all, she is your neighbor so it's not totally random. Start from there and work up. Link to post Share on other sites
c.jude Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 I agree with the posts above. If I was plagued with FB messages and texts without even meeting you in person, I would be quite creeped out. Just meet her officially in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssllmmee Posted May 7, 2013 Author Share Posted May 7, 2013 Any advice for doing that without being too nervous and making myself look like a fool? (Alcohol or drugs not accepted). Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssllmmee Posted May 10, 2013 Author Share Posted May 10, 2013 Ok guys, I really need some advice on this. I saw her yesterday, she was walking in the street like 10 meters in front of me. I really wanted to talk to her, I knew what to say but I got so nervous that I could literally feel my stomach burning inside. I always get stupidly nervous when I try to approach a woman. I need to solve this before I can talk to her, otherwise I will not be able to say 2 words straight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssllmmee Posted May 18, 2013 Author Share Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) So, I haven't seen her lately but I have been trying to gain courage to talk with her and I think that I can do it. But before that, I would like to know what you guys think about this approach as I'm not very good with this things. - Hi there! I noticed that you recently moved to that apartment, didn't you? - (Insert her reply here). - Well, I am (insert my name here) and I just wanted to tell you that I live in the apartment block right in front of yours and if you need something any day I can help. By the way, what's your name? - (Insert her name here). - Nice to meet you! ... I was just thinking, would you like to talk a bit more one of this days? - (Insert her reply here). - (If she says yes) Ok have my number, you can call me when you want (give her my phone number). See you! ... And congratulations on your new home! I know, I'm being to imaginative and this is a bit scripted and it can go a totally different way, but what do you think about the general idea? Anything there that I shouldn't say or that I should add? Edited May 18, 2013 by ssllmmee Link to post Share on other sites
Tinie Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Yeah it's scripted. You know what? Just breathe and relax. She's as much of a human as you are. I really don't think she's going to kick you to the curb simply because you walked up to her and talked. I, for one, like it when a guy approaches me- it shows confidence. Stop thinking automatically that she'll be disgusted with you and that she'll reject you right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssllmmee Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 Well the age factor also concerns me a bit I admit. She's 4 years older and many women aren't interested in younger men. That hasn't stopped me in the past, but I knew those girls didn't care about my age. I don't know what is the opinion of this one in particular on that. I guess I'll only find out after talking with her. Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 I'm really curious as to how you hooked up with your previous girlfriends with your level of timidity 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssllmmee Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 I started talking with them online. My biggest problem is the aproaching part Link to post Share on other sites
dabesdiabetic Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Why don't you drop some kind of joke on her? Something like hey arent you the new neighbor!? Whatta think you can just move here and not meet everyone around!? But of course, this must all be done with a smile and a just kidding at the end. Somethig to break the ice in which u can easily transition into where you from why you moved blah blah. When you feel the convo slowing it's always best to even be like oh well it I'd love to chat but I gotta (whatever you're doing), but Definetly see yah around or something like that. Link to post Share on other sites
karnak Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Man, ganha coragem e fala com ela. Sabes bem que as mulheres gostam de homens descarados (embora a maioria delas não admita). Se ela gostar de ti, e se sentir atraida por ti, vai gostar que metas conversa com ela. Se ela não tiver interesse em ti, até podes aparecer coberto de ouro, que ela não te vai ligar nenhuma na mesma. Vai à luta, camarada! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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