Just another broken heart

[Scot]

My girlfriend broke up with me, for reasons which I'd rather not go into, other than to say I have never intended to have done anything to hurt or upset her, and vice versa. We had an incredibally loving and caring relationship from the very beginning, right up until the end.

 

What we shared together was truly amazing. Everybody envied us and I have never been so emotionally close to someone in my life. I know she loved me very much, as did I her and she was just as emotionally close to me.

 

Now that we are apart, I am feeling this incredible sense of loss. It is not likely we will get back together, so I am not going to wish or hope for it.

 

I miss her more than anything, but we are not in contact anymore, because she felt it would be easier. I want my wounds to heal. She has not contacted me. I hurt that we're not together, but she believes it is the best thing that we are not.

 

I am afraid that if she starts to see someone new, this would break my heart completely.

 

I fear of having these horrible feelings of inadequacy, accompanied by a lot of pain, and anger, and when I get angry with her, I feel very guilty. I feel like I was not enough for her. I have always said that I would be lucky to ever find someone like her again. She was a bit mixed up over some events in her life that have been going on since we met, couldn't handle them well, and when we split, she felt it was the best thing for us.

 

This is really hard for me because my happiness and the best relationship I've ever had is not there anymore and I've never felt such loss in my life.

[Taressa]

Scot,

 

I've only a moment to write before taking off to visit my sister.

 

Please gather your friends about you this weekend and make arrangements to get out of the house and do something fun. This heartbreak is going to heal but only with the help of some honest friends who will give you the gift of time.

 

I'm so sorry for what you've gone through but I know that once mended, your heart will be stronger and wiser than before. You will be happy again, Scot. Concentrate on BUILDING that happiness one day at a time.

 

You will be okay. The hurt will fade.

 

And by the way, you sound like quite a sweet man. I'm betting that in time you will find even better love... one reciprocated that lasts.

[Scot]

Thank you. Those are very kind words!

Scot, I've only a moment to write before taking off to visit my sister. Please gather your friends about you this weekend and make arrangements to get out of the house and do something fun. This heartbreak is going to heal but only with the help of some honest friends who will give you the gift of time. I'm so sorry for what you've gone through but I know that once mended, your heart will be stronger and wiser than before. You will be happy again, Scot. Concentrate on BUILDING that happiness one day at a time. You will be okay. The hurt will fade. And by the way, you sound like quite a sweet man. I'm betting that in time you will find even better love... one reciprocated that lasts.

[sparkle]

Scot,

 

I understand that this is a tough time for you, and you're going through a lot...pain and a mix of emotions. But you

 

are already making good progress. You've accepted the fact that it's unlikely you two will get back together, and that you are "not going to wish or hope for it".

 

You're off to a good start. You want your wounds to heal, but just be patient and hang in there. Time will be the greatest healer right now. Don't try to rush things and shut off your feelings of pain and loss. Just cope with them, think them through, and take it slow. You still need time to accept everything and move on.

 

You miss her very much, but think about how you might feel if you two were still in touch with each other. You might have still been trying to put together something that needed to be left alone, and it might have been even harder to move on. Yes you miss her and you might always miss her, and you need her right now, but one day you'll realize that you don't need her anymore. Not talking to each other will just let you come to terms with that a lot sooner.

 

Feelings of inadequacy, pain and anger are normal. You don't need to feel guilty. First of all, don't feel inadequate. For whatever reason it did not work out, you've learned from your mistakes and her mistakes. It wasn't meant to work out. You've actually become a better person, you've become more experienced, you've learned a lot. So realize that in your next relationship, you'll know how to handle things even better. This has nothing to do with the type of person you are, it has all to do with the fact that you two just weren't meant to work out with each other.

 

About feeling anger and feeling guilty, DON'T FEEL GUILTY.

 

It's as simple as that. What yout think in your own mind about her is your business and it's not going to hurt her in any way, so you don't need to feel guilty that you get angry with her. Being angry is normal. Become angry with her, and it will lessen your hurt.

 

About pain, that is natural. You will feel pain. And the more you loved her, the deeper this pain will be. But again, time will make it weaker and weaker until you don't feel it anymore. But besides time, there are other ways to ease this pain:

 

*Learn about yourself. Find out your hobbies and interests. You might have put these on the backburner. Now it's time to learn about what you like to do.

 

*Get in touch with old friends and family where your ties may have deteriorated over time. Or get closer to your friends and family. Better yet, meet new people and build new friendships.

 

*Keep yourself BUSY. This is the best advice I can keep you. Keep yourself busy with your hobbies and interest. Spend time with your friends. Hang out more. Spend more time outside. See and experience the city more, wherever you are.

 

Most of all, don't worry, don't despair,

 

you WILL feel better.

 

You WILL get over the pain.

 

You WILL meet new people.

 

You WILL be happy.

 

You WILL fall in love all over again with someone new.

 

I hope this helps. I wish you the best as you deal with your pain.