stanchain Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Ok here is the deal. About 7 months ago I found out my fiancé was texting some guy from her class and deleting the messages so I wouldn't know. On top of that they were talking on Facebook as well. I found out and told her it needed to stop. 2 days ago I happen to use her phone and found out she has a secret email account with messages between the two of them. She snatched her phone and deleted the messages before I could read them. She refuses to give me the email address and password, and won't even given me the email address. She swears it was just about school. She still hasn't deleted him from her Facebook and hasn't even apologized for it all. What should I think? What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
noble Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Well.. If the conversations over email with him were just about school, then why the secret email account, and why refuse to show you the emails? You need to think logically. If this was happening to a friend of yours, would you tell him to trust his girlfriend or would you see that she is clearly lying to you? I mean, come on, she's lying. People don't hide things like this unless there is something to hide. If it was nothing, it would be out in the daylight and she wouldnt have created a secret email address and she wouldn't be refusing to show you the messages now. So you can either.. A.) ignore the truth and continue to be with her, knowing that she is probably cheating with this guy behind your back B.) Confront her and demand the passwords to the accounts.. if she refuses to show you.. break up with her or.. C.) Confront her and demand the passwords.. and whether you find out something or nothing, you can try to forgive her... But.. I think people are more worth forgiving when they actually seem sorry for the things they've done, and it just seems like your girlfriend is trying to sweep everything under the rug..So I dont know if I would advise you to trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stanchain Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 It's funny you said demand the information. We were actually in the car driving when I saw the emails.... She snatched the phone and I demanded it.... She refused to give it to me. I told her give it to me or I'm getting out the car. She refused and at the next light I got out and walked a mile home instead of going to the ball game with our kids. So Sh rather me walk away then hand me the phone back.... Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 (concisely) Yes. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 She perfectly understands the huge meaning of her actions in the car. She knew such an extravert behavior will make you very suspicious , will make her untrustful in your eyes, ruin your relationship and can lead to separation. But still, she made a choice to act like that. the only reason she did it, is because the evidence in the mail means worse! the extravert behavior MAYBE will lead to separation, BUT the evidence in the mail SURLY will make you leave her. Now after she deleted all the evidences, she will give you the access to the innocent mails... and after you will push more she will cry and "admit", that it was "just 1-2 mails which he just flirted with her and she didnt want you to be upset because it means nothing".... SHE IS CHEATING! its your call from now.... Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 She perfectly understands the huge meaning of her actions in the car. She knew such an extravert behavior will make you very suspicious , will make her untrustful in your eyes, ruin your relationship and can lead to separation. But still, she made a choice to act like that. the only reason she did it, is because the evidence in the mail means worse! the extravert behavior MAYBE will lead to separation, BUT the evidence in the mail SURLY will make you leave her. Now after she deleted all the evidences, she will give you the access to the innocent mails... and after you will push more she will cry and "admit", that it was "just 1-2 mails which he just flirted with her and she didnt want you to be upset because it means nothing".... SHE IS CHEATING! its your call from now.... Haha this happened to me exactly how you said it. Snatched the phone anytime I went near. I said "I need to see those e-mails now. This is suspicious as hell and if you don't let me see what's going on here I'm out." She refused and I left. And hour later, she's like "I changed my mind, you can take a look". Well everything was deleted. Did she think I'd actually believe she didn't delete the stuff during that hour? But yeah, gotta get out man, she's either cheating or planning on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stanchain Posted May 9, 2013 Author Share Posted May 9, 2013 Well she never gave me the email address... Or password for that matter. Of course she swears nothing happen... But refuses to sign in to the email. I'm hurt and devastated. We have a 2 and 5 year old and I promised my daughter that daddy will always be here... But right now it is hard. I wanna walk away. I shouldn't have but I looked at her phone tonight and the history doesn't show yahoo.... So did she even delete the account like she said? I don't want to leave my daughter but right now I don't know what else I can do. By refusing to give me the email it only increases my disbelief. Oh did I mention she has been to his house at least twice???? For so called study groups that she did behind my back? Link to post Share on other sites
MichiganMan222 Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 What's suspicious about this? Suspicious is something that seems or has the appearance of being inappropriate. As far as I'm concerned, this is concrete evidence that leaves no doubt. How can you even consider tolerating someone with this kind of character? Fiancée? Nauseating. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Ok here is the deal. About 7 months ago I found out my fiancé was texting some guy from her class and deleting the messages so I wouldn't know. On top of that they were talking on Facebook as well. I found out and told her it needed to stop. 2 days ago I happen to use her phone and found out she has a secret email account with messages between the two of them. She snatched her phone and deleted the messages before I could read them. She refuses to give me the email address and password, and won't even given me the email address. She swears it was just about school. She still hasn't deleted him from her Facebook and hasn't even apologized for it all. What should I think? What should I do? What???????!!!!!! Drop her! Move on! Come on, man! She is spitting on you and you're letting her. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Well she never gave me the email address... Or password for that matter. Of course she swears nothing happen... But refuses to sign in to the email. I'm hurt and devastated. We have a 2 and 5 year old and I promised my daughter that daddy will always be here... But right now it is hard. I wanna walk away. I shouldn't have but I looked at her phone tonight and the history doesn't show yahoo.... So did she even delete the account like she said? I don't want to leave my daughter but right now I don't know what else I can do. By refusing to give me the email it only increases my disbelief. Oh did I mention she has been to his house at least twice???? For so called study groups that she did behind my back? ___________________________________________________________ Now that you know for sure she was\is cheating, you have to decide what to do. If you want to try to work it out, you have to be very persistent: The only way you could stay is if she stop lying to you. She has to tell you the whole truth, she has to expose all her passwords - Email, facebook, phone , everything! She must commit to NC to that guy, even if she has to quit her studies. relationship can survive maybe cheating, but only if she feels honest remorse and total regret, and she must promise to do anything you ask her so you can heal your wound, and she must sacrifice a lot to earn your trust again. If she refuses, you know, children can survive divorce, it happens all the time. they grow up fine, you can share custody. If you let her get away with it, she will learn a big lesson - you are a doormat, and its allowed to cheat on you, disrespect you, step on you, and your children will suffer and feel the ban atmosphere in the house. you will be giving them a bad example of dady\man in the long term. She is a liar and a cheater! you deserve better, unless she is willing to work hard to change her attitude 180^. (sorry for my poor english, not my mother language) Link to post Share on other sites
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