Infnitysign Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 So last night my gf and I went to my friend's place to play board games and have a few drinks. Half way through the night was great and everyone is having fun and I gave my phone to my gf to ask her about the new facebook/text msg app. She saw that a really old friend back from 11 years ago in my grade school friends and messages me, asking how I've been. She initially said that my old friend "a girl" was flirting with me and i felt a bit betrayed that she would think so and say that to me. I brushed it off saying "I don't think she was, but I'm just to oblivious to hints when I get them from girls". My gf goes off and pushed me into admitting that I was flirting back and I refuse to say that I was in return flirting with my old friend. She then goes and pushes my head and and throwing my phone at me where I was lying on the ground. I was so heated and almost told her how disrespectful that was in front of everyone, but I restrained myself and just smiled and kiss her on the forehead. Then through out the other half of the night playing board games she would be bias against me and making sure I would lose, but I didn't care because it was just a board game. After the party we were leaving and she brought it up and I gave her my honest answer, but that didn't satisfy her at all and I am not going to play 20 questions with her with every answer I give her. I raised my voice and It just got out of control and I said that this was childish and she drove off and I walked home around midnight. She has always been insecure and jealous at the sight of me talking, messaging, and generally being nice to girls. What is everyone opinion in this situation and could I have handled this better? Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 So last night my gf and I went to my friend's place to play board games and have a few drinks. Half way through the night was great and everyone is having fun and I gave my phone to my gf to ask her about the new facebook/text msg app. She saw that a really old friend back from 11 years ago in my grade school friends and messages me, asking how I've been. She initially said that my old friend "a girl" was flirting with me and i felt a bit betrayed that she would think so and say that to me. I brushed it off saying "I don't think she was, but I'm just to oblivious to hints when I get them from girls". My gf goes off and pushed me into admitting that I was flirting back and I refuse to say that I was in return flirting with my old friend. She then goes and pushes my head and and throwing my phone at me where I was lying on the ground. I was so heated and almost told her how disrespectful that was in front of everyone, but I restrained myself and just smiled and kiss her on the forehead. Then through out the other half of the night playing board games she would be bias against me and making sure I would lose, but I didn't care because it was just a board game. After the party we were leaving and she brought it up and I gave her my honest answer, but that didn't satisfy her at all and I am not going to play 20 questions with her with every answer I give her. I raised my voice and It just got out of control and I said that this was childish and she drove off and I walked home around midnight. She has always been insecure and jealous at the sight of me talking, messaging, and generally being nice to girls. What is everyone opinion in this situation and could I have handled this better? How can someone push you into admitting something you didn't do? Did you flirt back or not? Until I hear more about this, it's hard to say. I think you both sound immature, but you should definitely get away from her and find someone who won't physically touch you out of anger. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 What is everyone opinion in this situation and could I have handled this better? Every girl is different my friend. But I'm guessing your girlfriend is quite attached, maybe a little over attached? However, she may not feel like she's #1. Talking it out is always helpful and reassuring that you are telling the truth will help as well. Maybe do something with just the two of you? Also, leave your cell phone at home or in the car and pay attention to her. Also, you can stand your ground and make her feel secure as well without the arguments. It's tricky, but it can be done! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infnitysign Posted May 7, 2013 Author Share Posted May 7, 2013 How can someone push you into admitting something you didn't do? Did you flirt back or not? Until I hear more about this, it's hard to say. I think you both sound immature, but you should definitely get away from her and find someone who won't physically touch you out of anger. I would know if I was flirting. Ugh another girl who thinks I'm flirting in my situation. I can't even get a break on this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infnitysign Posted May 7, 2013 Author Share Posted May 7, 2013 Every girl is different my friend. But I'm guessing your girlfriend is quite attached, maybe a little over attached? However, she may not feel like she's #1. Talking it out is always helpful and reassuring that you are telling the truth will help as well. Maybe do something with just the two of you? Also, leave your cell phone at home or in the car and pay attention to her. Also, you can stand your ground and make her feel secure as well without the arguments. It's tricky, but it can be done! Standing my ground is hard when I'm rational and she is irrational, but I will try and make sure she feels like my #1. But I will not turn myself into a puppy dog following instructions. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 Personally speaking, I think it's childish. I think you should tell her that until she has the ability to talk to you in a rational manner you are walking away. If you play into her irrational thoughts you are going to be met with passive agressive behavior that is meant to punish you. It's a completely ridiculous cycle and it's up to you whether or not you want to involve yourself in such silly behavior. JMHO. If it were me I would see it for what it is and shut it down. There is nothing worse than someone reading a situation wrong and then trying to punish you for it. It's simply not worth it and it is very immature. I think you should cut yourself loose from her and let her know that when she comes to her senses you will be willing to talk...IF you haven't moved on by then. A good relationship is measured by the person they bring out in you. If she feels jealous of what ever you do, no matter how innocent, then you are NOT the right person for her. Good luck...I hope you take care of you instead of feeding ridiculousness. Life is too short to waste on such nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 I think what he meant when he said "She pushed me into admitting I was flirting back" was that she was trying to get him to admit to it, but he wouldn't admit to it because he didn't do it. Innocent flirting is fine too. I pump my friends tires all the time. It doesn't mean anything if you smile and compliment a friend. Make them feel good about themselves, doesn't mean you're going to cheat or that you want to cheat. I'm generally a flirtatious person though, even when I'm not trying to be. It just comes off like that I guess. And she pushed your head and threw a phone at you? That's abusive and not acceptable behavior from a partner. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 I've never used it as copout. I've never used it period. I just don't like it when people make assumptions that are waaay off base when all they have to do is ask me directy in a calm mature manner. I'm not a liar so I would tell them the truth. If they can't do that then how they are feeling is on them. Pushing someone to admit somthing they didn't do is ridiculous IMHO. It's immature and would give me cause for concern to be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
chelsea2011 Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 That wasn't directed at you in a negative way. Sorry if you took it that way. I was merely stating that it wasn't always the case as in mine that's all. Anyway, carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 I would know if I was flirting. Ugh another girl who thinks I'm flirting in my situation. I can't even get a break on this forum. I wasn't accusing you of anything. I was asking for clarification. It's interesting how quickly you got defensive, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infnitysign Posted May 8, 2013 Author Share Posted May 8, 2013 I think what he meant when he said "She pushed me into admitting I was flirting back" was that she was trying to get him to admit to it, but he wouldn't admit to it because he didn't do it. Innocent flirting is fine too. I pump my friends tires all the time. It doesn't mean anything if you smile and compliment a friend. Make them feel good about themselves, doesn't mean you're going to cheat or that you want to cheat. I'm generally a flirtatious person though, even when I'm not trying to be. It just comes off like that I guess. And she pushed your head and threw a phone at you? That's abusive and not acceptable behavior from a partner. Right on, and in my messages to my grade school friend showed that I mixed her up with another girl who had the same name and I thought she got married because of her last name was different, but I was wrong and she is single. I just mixed her up with another grade school friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infnitysign Posted May 8, 2013 Author Share Posted May 8, 2013 If you legit werent flirting then she overreacted. However, it is impossible to tell based on the original post if she overreacted or if she really did pick up on the fact that you are flirting and is mad. Nonetheless, her behavior afterwards is very immature. I actually find when most people tell their girlfriend or boyfriend that they are insecure that they themselves are just acting disrespectfully and inappropriately and they are using that word as a copout. I have met a few people here and there who are legit insecure and act this way no matter what their partner does. Age has taught me many people say "you are insecure" to deflect attention away from their disrespectful behavior however. I would need more details on the situation to see which one it is though. I was going to tell her how disrespectful it was to push my head and throw my phone at me when everyone was looking. I stopped myself from telling her because then I would be disrespectful to her by saying that to her infront of all our friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infnitysign Posted May 8, 2013 Author Share Posted May 8, 2013 I've never used it as copout. I've never used it period. I just don't like it when people make assumptions that are waaay off base when all they have to do is ask me directy in a calm mature manner. I'm not a liar so I would tell them the truth. If they can't do that then how they are feeling is on them. Pushing someone to admit somthing they didn't do is ridiculous IMHO. It's immature and would give me cause for concern to be honest. I was truthful to her at the moment she saw the messages and I am a oblivious to flirting and hints and I know I am. She also knew this because she was the one who asked me out after 2 years of giving me hints and flirting with me, but maybe I am too serious of a person. After leaving I assured her and my answers to her questions did not satisfy her and I refuse to play 20 questions with every answer i provide. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Infnitysign Posted May 8, 2013 Author Share Posted May 8, 2013 I wasn't accusing you of anything. I was asking for clarification. It's interesting how quickly you got defensive, though. Here is the conversation if you need clarification of flirting Friend-Hey, do you remember me?... (^_^) We went to elementary school (new spirit) together! How you been; it's been sooo long. Me-I do remember you, It's been good so far and how have you've been, I notice you're not a "Her" anymore. But I might be wrong about your last name Friend-Yeah-definitely the wrong pa cee...lol Me-Sorry you guys have the same first name and even spell the same Friend-Omg! Can't believe u forgot me!!! We used to play together all the time...oh well. Hahaha I don't blame u cause I did move after 4th grade. So u probably forgotten who I am. Hahaha.., Me-I'm sorry that was 11 years ago Friend-What?! Lol-don't be sorry! Me-OK I'm not sorry anymore, but I don't keep in touch with anyone that went to grade school with me anymore Friend-Yeah-same here. Me-So whats up? You still live in the twin cities? Friend-Yes I do. What about you? Me-I still live here in twin cities. Friend-Yes-u just play such a huge role in my childhood that I just can't forget about you-lmao; j/k!!!! No it's just that I was on fb n u came up on my 'ppl you may know' list n so that's y I decided to save u as a buddy. Hahaha... ends here and I havent messaged her back anymore Link to post Share on other sites
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