I honestly hate my mother in law she will be the reason for my divorce in the future

[ceres12]

hi everyone thanks for the responses,

 

I understand its his mother and i am not asking him to choose but to also respect where i stand as his wife. When his mother says something is what goes and am sick of this, it has been like this for over 8 years that i have dated him and now married.

 

His parents for all the time i have known my now husband they have always asked for money his mother not his dad is the one that ask money for both of them i know his dad wouldnt ask, his mom is the one that does it and ofcourse he goes along with whatever she says or does. My inlaws have both made a lot of money they own their home and barely ay mortgage it is really low.Both of them made at one point 30 bucks and hour each full time work with little to no house payments. Now his mom left her job because she felt they were rude to her! She actually in fact got fired long story short she is claiming unemployment though but still her husband is working. She goes shopping for random stuff (no she is not a shopping addict or anything she is just selfish and doesnt care about other people) (this is one of her and her husband's big fight issues her husband refused at one point to have a joint bank account and long story) and i dont mind helping but how do i know she does not use this money to spend on buying crap when she told me one time herself she used to tell my husband she needed money and in fact she didnt she was just saving it for herself. WTF so yea i dont trust her!

 

Anyway,

she called again and keeps telling my husband that i dont email her and blah blah blah, thing is she does not email me to not make the story so long we got in to another heated very heated arguement because im fed up having to explain myself to that woman when my husband doesn't even email my own parents let alone go out of his way to say hi in a short email. I use to email her out of respect for my husband but she was always asking for something or it was dramatic to get me to tell my husband so he feels bad for her and sends her money and i got tired of her using me so i rather her talk to him directly ( i didnt tell him this of course when that happened i just let her communicate with her son directly instead)

 

anyway, i know i know i married him and thanks to her i have him in my life and what not but c'mon doesn't mean i have to let her abuse of me and my husband just because she gave birth to him i mean i know that sounds bad but there should be a line of respect and space for her to let us live our lives.

 

anyways, am already fed up with this mother in law drama i want a divorce i am done fighting, the little money i manage to save up my husband is now wanting access to it and now our marriage is turning in to a complete night mare. I already don't even want children with my husband of how bad this lady is affecting the way now am seeing my marriage. I am just sadly fed up i can't take it, i hate how his mother uses him only for money and he will never notice it.

[ceres12]

i honestly feel like calling this woman on the phone on loud speaker with my husband next to me and just bluntly and politely and respectfully ofcourse tell her that i do not feel comfortable in the way she is preventing our marriage from growing and flourishing by constantly intruding in a needy way and manipulative way. Also, telling her i am still very upset with the nonesense and lies she said of my dad. I feel like honestly been sincere and expressing my concerns, by telling her how are we to have our own home one day if we are constantly asked for money, how are we to even be a marriage or kids like this. That she only calls to bring bad news or ask for money, and to explain politely and by choosing better and appropriate words the reasons why i do not email her.

 

I know this goes against EVERYTHING a wife should do with their mother in laws but i truly can not be fake or hypocritical i feel as though communication is very important and my husband and i have talked so many times and it is not getting better so maybe having this conversation with him present can alleviate something or i hope it would. I know if i spoke to her and not have him present she would just tell him horrors that i insulted her and blah blah blah so i rather him be present. She keeps calling asking my husband to pay their bills, which she just tells him a number ( i would even feel more comfortable to see an actual copy/or fax of an actual bill!) then just then i might believe her. Since she lied to my husband one point about needing money when in fact she didn't her exact words to me!!

 

I dont know i am seriously considering this.

[UpwardForward]

So, in other words mother in law (and perhaps H) have mismanaged their earnings.

 

Now she's leaching off of her son for not even basics i.e. food and shelter?

 

You have said your H wants access to even the money you've managed to save. Do you know for a fact that his mother has asked him for money these last weeks - or is it a story?

[ceres12]

yes they did not manage their finances well at all.

 

His mother asked him for money these last weeks, she ofcourse put on a show for my husband first and was like 'i feel terrible asking as though am some sort of beggar but times are so rough and you know blah blah blah." You can pretty much imagine i swear she could have won an Oscar, and ofcourse my husband buys it every time.

 

My husband wants access to my small savings and brings it up every time, and i keep telling him thats for emergencies only otherwise we would have absolutely not savings!

 

anyways, fights are getting worse than ever from worse to worse i had enough i want out. He can support his mother all his life until she drains him dry.