Friends or One Day more?- Mixed Signals

[cynthiaj]

So pretty much-

About 2 months ago I became reconnected with a guy i briefly knew in high school (we met again through a mutual friend). For the first 3 weeks or so we were dating, together constantly (often times around other friends as well), and hooking up. We then began discussing business and decided we were going to start a little business venture togehter and hopefully grow it into something big (involving buying and flipping houses etc). Since then, He says he doesnt think we should mix business with pleasure so just wants to be my best friend. He still calls me everyday, texts me all day, and wants to see me everyday. A lot of the time our other friends are around too, but thats how it was when we were dating. We no longer have sex (which we had only done a few times initially anyways) but we cuddle, its hard for him to keep his hands off me, sleep in the same bed when he stays over, and when we go out (to events with friends or bars or nightclubs) usually end up attached at the hip and once again all over eachother.

He did just get out of a relationship (2.5 year relationship) and also says he wants to focus on making money and doesn't want our business to affect our relationship which is why he wants to remain friends. At the same time, hes not dating anyone else (though I have heard hes a bit of a flirt from time to time), always wants to be with me, and is now mentioning renting a room at my house (I have a 4 bedroom house and live alone and hes starting school up the street from my house- he makes good money and already has his own place but says he wants to stay with me to help me with all the business stuff and be here for me) and says he will sleep in the other room (though hes still sleeping in my bed even though i have other rooms in my house available). One of the business ventures we want to start revolves around working from home in one of my empty rooms. He's even mentioned that one day if we dont end up buying a house together that he always wants to live next to me. Basically, I'm extremely confused. I don't know whether he has feelings for me but is confused, truly just sees me as a friend, or is in denial about falling for me. Any advice? Sorry guys, this has just been driving me nuts lol. Im only 25 so am not a pro at all this relationship stuff and am a bit naive with all this relationship stuff.

[Leegh]

I don't know, and since it's only been two months since you and he reconnected, maybe he doesn't even know yet what his true feelings are. I would give it a little more time, but after a month or more, try to find more clarity from him. His actions do indeed seem confusing, as it does seem as though he likes you a lot, maybe he just needs a little more time.

[imtooconfused]

I can see why you're so confused. You guys have certainly blurred the lines between friends and lovers. Friends (for the most part) don't snuggle, friends don't sleep in the same bed (even non-sexual) and friends don't talk about buying a house together. He is putting up barriers to a full-on relationship by keeping you close-but-not-too-close, but to what end is hard to say.

 

In your explanation, you do a good job of explaining what he is looking for (and what he's not looking for), but you don't describe what you are looking to get out of the relationship. It sounds like you are interested in him but his wishy-washiness is preventing you from being happy with him, or with anyone else. You need to decide whether it's worth waiting for him to come around. If not, you need to re-define the reasonable "friends boundaries" that allow you to get on with your life and meet someone who is willing to commit.

[JenFree2013]

Yes, it's true... You should be sure of anything... from feelings to commitment... take your time and surely all answered will come out...