I am a physique and underwear model. But I can't get girls...

[FitChick]

If you are a model, you should be meeting other models, stylists, makeup artists, hairdressers, photographers through your work. Ask them to fix you up with their friends. Take an acting class to gain confidence as well as to meet women.

[cozmo]

If you are a model, you should be meeting other models, stylists, makeup artists, hairdressers, photographers through your work. Ask them to fix you up with their friends. Take an acting class to gain confidence as well as to meet women.

 

The model world that I have seen has strict etiquette when it comes to stuff like that. Its hard to explain, well, I guess due to the fairly sexualised nature of it, especially underwear etc there are quite strict boundries unless u want to get a bad rep.

[cozmo]

I just wish I knew how to do it. I know I spend too much time doing stuff girls aren't into. And I also spend too much time at home being miserable about it all.

 

But "Go out more" is too broad. If I go out all I do is walk about and mind my own business, I meet the same amount of girls outside as in my flat: 0.

[soccerrprp]

I just wish I knew how to do it. I know I spend too much time doing stuff girls aren't into. And I also spend too much time at home being miserable about it all.

 

But "Go out more" is too broad. If I go out all I do is walk about and mind my own business, I meet the same amount of girls outside as in my flat: 0.

 

Get out! It sounds like a simple lack of confidence and esteem issues. Get out. If your girl friends say you're hot, then your likely hot. How do you behave with your friends? Confident? If so, why? Try to view potential dates as friends, but don't behave like one (not platonic). You've got what most guys don't, so feel very good about that. You're more than half way there just by looking good.

 

Now, work on your confidence. You're using OLD, so search for the ladies that you are interested in and ask them out. Have some nice pics of yourself up. I'm sure you do.

 

Good luck.

 

Dang, I wish I was an underwear model.

Edited May 14, 2013 by soccerrprp

[cozmo]

OLD depresses me, I never have any luck and not many good looking girls use it. I hardly see anyone I like the look of.

 

You say "Ask them out" like it is that easy. I have never done that in person and I have never gone up to a girl. Well I did once at a house party, I had it going over and over in my head: I was going to say "hey, what's your name?" I was playing mental gymnastics for ages and I finally made my self talk: I choked after hey, luckily she got distracted and didn't hear me.

 

I have never gone and approached a girl since.

[somedude81]

Where do you actually expect to meet girls?

[cozmo]

I don't know. I don't how people do it. I have no clue that is the issue. I never did it as a teenager, I have no reference points on what to do.

[somedude81]

I don't know. I don't how people do it. I have no clue that is the issue. I never did it as a teenager, I have no reference points on what to do.

That's the first thing you need to work on.

 

No matter how hot you are, girls aren't going to knock on your door asking you to date them.

 

You need to go to a location where there are a lot of girls.

 

If you go to college, sign up for a dance class. Social dance, salsa, country line dancing, there are always tons of girls in those classes. If you aren't a college student then take a cardio class at a gym. Again there are bunches of girls there. Go the same time for a couple of weeks and you'll start to know some of the girls.

 

Meeting girls is the easy part. Once you are exposed to more girls your looks should do the rest for you.

Edited May 14, 2013 by somedude81

[cozmo]

Sounds predatory... doing something JUST to find girls...

[somedude81]

Sounds predatory... doing something JUST to find girls...

And you expect them to come find you?

 

Good luck with that.

[cozmo]

everyone else makes it seem so easy

[Emilia]

What's up with the notion that just because a guy has a good physique that girls automatically flock to him? This is generally an inaccurate assumption, in my experience.

 

This guy isn't the first good looking guy to experience this. It's not like he's walking around without a shirt all day. He probably looks fairly normal in plain clothes, and without the conversational skills and social confidence that he needs, his physical strengths could be going by completely unnoticed rather easily. Not to mention, depending how many hours per week he spends training/working/studying (basically out of the public eye), the actual amount of exposure he's getting to situations that lend themselves to females approaching HIM could be insufficient to overcome the statistical unlikelihood of that happening.

 

I agree. I see shy fit guys in boxing or weightlifting gyms all the time. They are too shy to even look at me in the eye.

[Emilia]

I just wish I knew how to do it. I know I spend too much time doing stuff girls aren't into. And I also spend too much time at home being miserable about it all.

 

But "Go out more" is too broad. If I go out all I do is walk about and mind my own business, I meet the same amount of girls outside as in my flat: 0.

What kind of social settings are you most comfortable in? Larger groups? Smaller groups? How do you feel about talking in front of strangers? What kind of job do you do? (sorry if I missed that part of your posts)

[soccerrprp]

everyone else makes it seem so easy

 

Those people "go" find someone. Play an "active" role. Look, you may be shy or lack confidence, but it can't be that bad. You model, you allow yourself to reveal a single layer above your birthday suit to strangers, so you do feel good about your body at least.

 

Okay, so now you NEED to find ways to work on your confidence, inter-personal skills and by complaining and NOT DOING, you are not going to find anyone. It's THAT simple.

 

BTW, "everyone else" doesn't make it sound easy. Relationships and establishment of them is hard work. You must not have been reading LS enough to see just how tough it is and that there are plenty of guys/gals like yourself. You know you have a lot to offer, so give yourself a chance to offer what you have....

 

Get out there and DO something to help with your confidence. Some people have already suggested some things. DO them.

[cozmo]

I don't mind talking in front of people. Tbh I am shy to take my clothes off in front of a group of people in person tho.

 

As for group size, I guess I work best in smaller groups but I don't mind larger ones if I either know them all or I have someone to talk to.

 

I am a uni student right now. But for money I am in the TA and I also train in MMA. (Along with modelling).

[Emilia]

I am a uni student right now. But for money I am in the TA and I also train in MMA. (Along with modelling).

So how much of your time a week do you spend socialising?

[cozmo]

I go out with friends on a monday evening, from about 10 to 12/1am. But only during term time. I might go out for a coffee with one of my close friends during the week or weekend. That's it.

 

In the holidays I just stay at home at my mums as I don't have any friends back where I came from. I might work if I have any hours other than that, it is gym, running and computer.

[Emilia]

I go out with friends on a monday evening, from about 10 to 12/1am. But only during term time. I might go out for a coffee with one of my close friends during the week or weekend. That's it.

That's the main issue in my opion. You don't socialise enough.

[cozmo]

I don't enjoy the club scene anymore. Because I dislike getting drunk and there are no trendy bar's near me. only the uni one and you can't sociallise out side your friends there because everyone else is already with their friends.

[Emilia]

I don't enjoy the club scene anymore. Because I dislike getting drunk and there are no trendy bar's near me. only the uni one and you can't sociallise out side your friends there because everyone else is already with their friends.

You need to work on your imagination if you think clubbing is the only way to meet and talk to people

[cozmo]

I should have clarified that there is very little to do here. The only things are the university and the student area.

 

Save randomly talking to someone out and about I don't know what else to do?

[Emilia]

I should have clarified that there is very little to do here. The only things are the university and the student area.

 

Save randomly talking to someone out and about I don't know what else to do?

No-one goes hiking, sailing, surfing, mountain biking around where you live and study? I don't just mean in the immediate area but organising trips, liftshares, etc? Everyone just gets drunk or stays at home?

[cozmo]

I enjoy hiking and adventure things. But people around here are city folk. When I was growing up my grandparents lived in Devon (they still do) and I loved the moors and hiking. But people around here don't seem to even know what the country side is most of the time.

 

Plus these people are students, ofc all they do is drink or chill at home

[Emilia]

Plus these people are students, ofc all they do is drink or chill at home

What, there are no societies? No debates? I've never heard of a university before where they don't have ton of societies being set up.

 

What's wrong with you initiating stuff? Call up people, hire a car together and go and out to the country? Are you telling me that everyone suffers from inertia? That no-one has a penny for these things?

[cozmo]

Thing is I don't need to do more stuff with my current friends. I want to meet more girls.

 

There have never been any societies that interest me. My main interest is working out and Mixed Martial Arts. The uni has kickboxing but that is a joke compared to my MMA training I do.