GoodOnPaper Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple. How many here have never had this happen? If it's only happened a few times in your life, or very rarely, you can chime in too. In other words, you've never or rarely rejected anybody. Never rejected anybody. Most of the eight first dates I've had in my life developed from neutral-chemistry situations -- cold-calls or setups. Only twice was I able to perceive girls taking the initiative in showing their interest. The first was in college -- it was the only time in my life that I was actively flirted with -- and we were together for 6 months, but she was very much a manipulative tease. The second was my wife. She wasn't forward enough to suggestively flirt but even with my "nice guy" handicap when it came to reading signals, I was able to tell that she wanted to date me. Link to post Share on other sites
nerd Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 The main problems I've encountered most often when approaching guys is first that they think I'm either "easy" or at least looking to immediately have sex with them and second, they assume I'm "desperate". ... Now, I just don't do it. Period. I wonder how many other women have suffered this plight? Huh. I guess the negative assumptions and stereotypes cut both ways. No wonder dating is so difficult. I know that first statement comes off as sarcastic, but your post proved it to me in a way I hadn't really thought of before. Which is disappointing, but illuminating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I think When it comes to approaches, the difference between women and men is men approach all types of women they feel different things about. Some they just want to have sex with, some they're just testing out their "game", some for a relationship, heck many guys approach girls they're not even all that attracted to. Women only approach guys they see high value In for relationships. When a woman approaches you, it generally means she holds you in high regard. But when a man approaches a woman, the girl doesn't really know what his intentions may be Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I was approached yesterday. I guess that makes that 5 for the year. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Hazzard Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 (edited) I've never had a woman approach me seriously, it's always stupid games or stuff I can't work out. I don't think any woman is truly attracted to me romantically or sexually, they just like to string me along. Edited June 30, 2013 by Hazzard Link to post Share on other sites
Franko Bleenyo Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 i have had about 3-4 ugly and fat women approach me but i rejected them. I dated a few girls, and out of them 2 led to sexual relationships, and about 2-3 i could tell they liked me but thanks to female flakiness they dissapeared. So really only 2 women in my whole life (30 years) found me attractive. What a joke i am. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I got approached like 4 times last night. Always the same line, too. "Hey baby, would you like a dance?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I got approached like 4 times last night. Always the same line, too. "Hey baby, would you like a dance?" Was your wife with you? Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Was your wife with you? Yeah, but she was up at the stage with my buddy's wife and left us back at the table. When she's next to me, the strippers just ignore me and focus on her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Yeah, but she was up at the stage with my buddy's wife and left us back at the table. When she's next to me, the strippers just ignore me and focus on her. Women are much much sexier anyway. Smart strippers. I had two beautiful Sicilian women on each side last night at a hip hop show. We caused quite a ruckus . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 Cripes. I NEVER get approached. Until I came upon LS, I had no idea that this was something I ought to be wailing and gnashing my teeth over. Even in online dating. I am on Match and I get maybe one unsolicited contact from someone I could be interested in A YEAR. And no I'm not holding out for a supermodel. And yes my profile is well-written. And yet I do decently in approaching and dating. JuneJulySeptember seriously young man you need to buck up. Are you aware of how many women I've approached and how many times I've been rejected? It's been well documented on here before. It's well over 200, probably closer to 300. I'm not your either. I'm like your age. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Women are much much sexier anyway. Smart strippers. I had two beautiful Sicilian women on each side last night at a hip hop show. We caused quite a ruckus . Yes, they are indeed...you pimp. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Are you aware of how many women I've approached and how many times I've been rejected? It's been well documented on here before. It's well over 200. I'm not your either. I'm like your age. And? Is that number a lifetime thing? Because that's how many you should be approaching monthly. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Are you aware of how many women I've approached and how many times I've been rejected? It's been well documented on here before. It's well over 200, probably closer to 300. I'm not your either. I'm like your age. Hey man if you've been rejected THAT many times maybe you're doing it wrong. Seems like you're hitting on anything with a pulse at this point. Women can tell if you're sincere or if you're just hitting on them because they're standing in your way to the bar. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 And? Is that number a lifetime thing? Because that's how many you should be approaching monthly. I've been rejected 300 times and you say 'so what'? Classic. I should be approaching what? 200 girls a month? :lmao: You really think that's the way life should be? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 Hey man if you've been rejected THAT many times maybe you're doing it wrong. Seems like you're hitting on anything with a pulse at this point. Women can tell if you're sincere or if you're just hitting on them because they're standing in your way to the bar. How can you be sincere if you've just met someone for the first time at a bar? I'll tell you what sincere is. Sincere is getting to know a woman over months during a job or during school and sharing life moments and becoming gradually attracted to her. And then she rejects you because you're not good looking enough. Anyway, blah, blah, blah. This bitter rant has been covered before. Truth be told, I kind of gave up on cold approach and bars. I've never experienced any success. From 13-14 years of going to bars, and continuously beating myself up month after month and year after year to improve my skills with women, you'd think something would have improved. Know what I mean? So, if I'm doing it wrong now, I'll be doing it wrong forever. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 And? Is that number a lifetime thing? Because that's how many you should be approaching monthly. If you were a guy, do you seriously think you'd be approaching 200 women a month to get a date? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I think stuff like cold approaching can't really be taught. And it's best to know what your "strengths" are. I know cold approaching is NOT my strength so I never did it except in rare, alcohol induced courageous states, back when I was much younger. If it takes you longer to "warm up" to someone then stay in your comfort zone and focus on that. I really don't have any advice on what to do, but I have advice on what not to do...and that's anything you are not comfortable with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sweetkiwi Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 If you were a guy, do you seriously think you'd be approaching 200 women a month to get a date? If I were a man I doubt I'd have to approach that many women to get one "yes". But obviously some men do. And the more you approach the better your odds of getting a single yes. But hey, what do I know, I have a golden vagina. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I really don't understand cold approaching at all. Why a guy would want to approach an endless number of women simply because he wants to have sex with him. And why a woman would actually say yes to a guy who has propositioned 30 other women that night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 As a reminder, this thread is asking men about never/rarely being approached by a woman. There are threads available, for free, to discuss other aspects of approach not topical to this thread. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Regularly at my job. Also been hit on by a few gay guys. Link to post Share on other sites
jma500 Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 I think it's not necessarily that men can't recognize the actual signals of interest...it's that their insecurity drives them to interpret them not as signals of interest. They will rationalize in their minds that "she would never be interested in a guy like me; I'm sure she's just being nice." I do this over and over again when women smile at me, etc. The last sentence is so true. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 Always remember...it's better to not be approached then be approached in a creepy way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted June 30, 2013 Author Share Posted June 30, 2013 I really don't understand cold approaching at all. Why a guy would want to approach an endless number of women simply because he wants to have sex with him. And why a woman would actually say yes to a guy who has propositioned 30 other women that night. A lot of women won't go home with him that night, but if he's good looking they'll give him their #. Link to post Share on other sites
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