How many men have never/rarely been approached by a woman?

[FocusStrider]

Rarely been approached... last time I was seriously approached by a single woman: back in high school. The reason I said I am rarely approached because I can't seem to have a luck having single women approach me, since it seems to me that women who approaches me.. they seem to be already married, engaged or is already dating. (I never understood why).

[Man-guy]

Currently 27... Been approached by girls around once/twice per year in person since I've been 18, and I was dating/married to the same girl that entire time till very recently... and twice by guys? Not sure how the hell those snuck in there o.O

[dj572]

Thinking back I can think of 2 for sure. There might be others I am not sure. As far as an approach from a woman stating her interest outright that has never happened.

I like most men have a hard time picking up on subtle hints. Of the 2 I am sure about the women were fairly obvious. I always have the issue of doubting a woman would be interested in me.

[Pompeii]

"Unmistakeable interest?" Define.

 

Girl saying you are attractive.

 

Girl initiating physical contact with you.

 

Girl asking for your number.

 

Girl interested in what you have to say.

 

I think its pretty obvious.

[kennedy37]

OK, a thread yesterday got me thinking.

 

So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple.

 

How many here have never had this happen?

 

If it's only happened a few times in your life, or very rarely, you can chime in too. In other words, you've never or rarely rejected anybody.

 

Thanks.

 

I have never been approached by a woman in my entire life , never really thought of it before . I have been married almost 13 years now to a woman I found out she is Bi-polar Schizophrenic and even she did not come on to me at all so I begged her for everything .

 

But I am admit I am not the best looking guy , a short 5'5 inch , 160 pound Engineering Nerd , Most women will lie to you and tell you are good looking when your not . Even my wife now has never came on to me , nor initiated sex with me , nor has ever been the aggressor.

 

I finished high school a virgin and valedictorian of my class , then on to Engineering school and even then found sex at the hands of a prostitute on the border . Many of the guys were screwing their brains out . I just accepted it that women were not interested in me . There is nothing wrong with that . If a woman had a boyfriend , most did , that was the end of that and I never pursued . The ones that did not have a steady boyfriend in College were sleeping with everyone , so I saw no sense in being one of the many they had before graduation .

 

Some guys could talk the panties off a saint , and some could not .

[Harradin]

About 3-4 times, mostly when I was drunk!

[AD1980]

Maybe once or twice in 33 years which kinda confirms how unattractive iam

[Moe'sTavern]

Nah, girl doing all that may still not be interested in YOU specifically, but may have some ulterior motive instead.

Perhaps. But it's better to think positive nonetheless.

[carhill]

Girl saying you are attractive.

 

Girl initiating physical contact with you.

 

Girl asking for your number.

 

Girl interested in what you have to say.

 

I think its pretty obvious.

This was common with women who turned out to be MW's/attached to another man, etc., hence my qualifier in my original posting. If only for the ILY's, stolen kisses and promises of the future, being real... interesting world out there. I choose not to count approaches which aren't sincere and from those people who are legally and/or emotionally committed to others.

[Shaun-Dro]

OK, a thread yesterday got me thinking.

 

So, approached means a woman has expressed unmistakeable interest in you. In your life. That simple.

 

How many here have never had this happen?

 

If it's only happened a few times in your life, or very rarely, you can chime in too. In other words, you've never or rarely rejected anybody.

 

Thanks.

 

I can count on my hand how many times a woman has expressed straight out interest in me. However, plenty have made themselves available for me to take charge, so it's been deduced that most women, by nature, need a man to be assertive.

[Onward_Upward]

In my short 40 years, I've been approached by three women. And now for the qualifier:

 

With the first two women, I started out firmly in the "friend zone"... I invested a LOT of time and energy into them, being a "good" friend, listening to them, just being "there" for them, etc (if you're a guy, you'll know what I mean)... And after a number of months in each case, they finally approached me directly and announced their love for me... BAM! Into the "boyfriend zone" I gladly went!

 

The third woman approached me... well... kinda "directly", but on an Internet dating site after viewing my profile, etc... And that beautiful girl I ended up marrying ...

 

But, after ten years in a very good marriage (and a number of wonderful children!), I abandoned our religion ... so she abandoned me.

 

But that's a long story, for another day

[mario_C]

Girl saying you are attractive.

 

Girl initiating physical contact with you.

 

Girl asking for your number.

 

Girl interested in what you have to say.

 

I think its pretty obvious.

There's a word for women like that - married!

And with that, I say have a nice weekend!

[jacksonvillae]

I think most guys have. Women aren't as forward as men though. So their approach may have been far too subtle for most men to have detected

[LookUp]

I think most guys have. Women aren't as forward as men though. So their approach may have been far too subtle for most men to have detected

 

Yeah, the subtle approach happens. Few years ago, I was picking apples at grocery store. Notice a girl looking at me. Few seconds later, she comes over, standing half a foot side by side with me, leaning over to get some apples. It was a big batch of apples, so she could have stayed far way.

Of course, I was too stupid back then so I failed to follow up her approach.

 

So you're right. Women do approach. But it's not the typical masculine approach where she introduces herself.

[Aslanbek]

Never happened to me. Or if it did, I was totally oblivious.

 

I'm pretty sure it's never happened.

[Keenly]

Yeah, the subtle approach happens. Few years ago, I was picking apples at grocery store. Notice a girl looking at me. Few seconds later, she comes over, standing half a foot side by side with me, leaning over to get some apples. It was a big batch of apples, so she could have stayed far way.

Of course, I was too stupid back then so I failed to follow up her approach.

 

So you're right. Women do approach. But it's not the typical masculine approach where she introduces herself.

 

That does not count as an approach.

 

If it WAS her sad attempt at an approach, then I can call smiling at a girl across the room an approach.

[Necris]

Yeah, the subtle approach happens. Few years ago, I was picking apples at grocery store. Notice a girl looking at me. Few seconds later, she comes over, standing half a foot side by side with me, leaning over to get some apples. It was a big batch of apples, so she could have stayed far way.

Of course, I was too stupid back then so I failed to follow up her approach.

 

So you're right. Women do approach. But it's not the typical masculine approach where she introduces herself.

 

But how could any man recognize that as an approach?

 

I myself don't really care that I don't ever get approached or that women never show any interest at all in me, but I am sad I'm always rejected 100% of the time when I approach.

[mikei880]

But how could any man recognize that as an approach?

 

I myself don't really care that I don't ever get approached or that women never show any interest at all in me, but I am sad I'm always rejected 100% of the time when I approach.

 

Yeah that was an approach, a very passive one. You had about 3 seconds to make a move before she moved on. Unfortunately for you (and me more times than I can remember) 15 seconds later you realized what happened.SOB, I did it again!

[carhill]

To quote an old Billy Squire tune, 'everybody wants me' perhaps is a healthier, if not more ego-centric, perspective to follow when dealing with approaches or other lack of disdain/lack of disinterest. IOW, if the lady isn't actively pushing one away in a disdainful tone, take that as an 'approach'. I experimented with that for a number of years in my early 20's after first hearing that tune on the album aptly named 'Emotions in Motion' but at that time didn't yet have the social skills or status to pull it off. Part of rationalizing that period, generally as a method of assuaging the pain of rejection, was to essentially erase any idea of them having been interested, validating the rejection as a mistake on my part. That made emotional processing easier, as it would be many years before I'd learn to 'care less' about such matters.

 

All that said, in my demographic, the rule of 'taken' still applied. Of the ones who showed interest by not actively showing disinterest/disdain, none turned out to be single if/when I acted on those 'signals', so none (healthy none) approached.

 

Something else I notice when out with male friends, all of them married many years, is that they respond very differently to women visually than I do. Their main response is to watch other women who catch their eye and evaluate them visually. I've never been wired that way and, upon reflection, feel that is a large contributor to any failures in this area, and probably where my socialization failed. My dad never taught me how to properly ogle women. He happened to marry a quite beautiful one but never taught the lesson of pursuing that beauty in a visual sense prior to getting to know the person. Interesting how little nudges in the beginning can have marked impacts further on in life. The good news is, when one has life, one has opportunity to change. Good luck.

[dichotomy]

A few times in high school..... and also a few times in college. The college ones were very blatant maybe once or twice a year type of thing at a party, but it was a big university.

 

After that I went off the market for a long time - and really saw nothing.

 

When I was between marriages, and started to date (online dating) I got approached "enough" by gals to go on dates. Before you think I am some great looking guy - I actually gave up contacting women on the OLD sites because I struck out all the time - My experience was the gals preferred to make the contact - so I just let them.

 

A few years ago I got back into shape again, while married, and noticed I got chatted up again, a gal here and there - but this was not very blatant, just that it had been a while since gals would just start talking to me out of the blue and I was grateful to see it again at my age.

Edited September 27, 2013 by dichotomy

[MikeJones88]

Not once, I get a lot of looks tho. Sometimes I wonder if my fly is unzipped.

 

I just write it off as them being intimidated by my stunning looks and posture

[Ed the 3rd]

3 times that I know of. 1 was grossly overweight but came on very very strong. I let her know rather sharpish she hadn't a chance in hell. Next one was her friend who was taller then me, overweight, ugly and a loser alcoholic. Also let her know no matter how much she stalked the crap outta me I'd rather put my genitals in a blender.

 

Last one is actually rather pretty and isn't some kind of freak but she's a bit of a slag and has an insecurity complex. While it would be hard to say no its for the best I don't take it anywhere.

 

Was happy she showed interest though because I was left thinking only fat losers found me attractive. I can't even admire their confidence because it is just pure desperation.

[hppr]

I'll chime in a bit on this. Women have approached me before, but I've noticed this only happens when I'm already with someone already. Funny how that works huh? It's like they have a sixth sense of knowing "hmm he's taken, wonder what he has..." sort of thing. I just tend to pretend I don't notice the signal and it fades. If only dating when I was single was that easy

 

Yeah the best way for a guy to get a girl's attention is to have a cute girl on his arm. Whenever my girlfriend and I go places women hit on me in a big way.

[Beast_117]

I don't remember ever being approached..I've caught a few girls looking but I don't think it meant anything.It's probably cause I'm hispanic and most girls don't like hispanic guys.

[jimloveslips]

when i was younger, had a lot more hair, and less of a belly, i was a pretty good looking guy - and i hate to say it but looks go a long way to getting things started.

when i was at college i shared a house with four girls - three of them made passes that I couldn't pass up. one was a disaster (my first sexual experience - yes I was a late developer and not very good - a real pity cos the girl was possible the most beautiful girl I've ever had sex with - well if you can call what happened "sex"), one was extremely sexy and exhilarating but short (her bf found out) and the other was very nice and lasted a year. I still pine for the second one, I remember her body very well, really very exquisite, and she was the most enthusiastic, we did naughty things all over that house!)

Since then I've been blessed with several fantastic relationships which have been mutual attractions - I'm really not sure who made the first move, it was all very symbiotic...

i was a little shy, and girls found that endearing, cute.

i was also a very nice guy.

now i'm bald, 10lbs too heavy, old, and not so damn nice, so no one makes passes at me anymore - all that experience gone to waste - and I'm happily married (although see my other recent post on that!)