He was looking at other girls' Facebook profiles. Am I overreacting?

[BornToDie]

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We broke up last July but got back together in November, and things have been wonderful ever since. He's really matured, we're certain that we love each other, and we're talking about marriage in years to come.

 

Yesterday morning, I got on his computer, and when I began to type the first few letters of a website, the name of a girl from Facebook popped up in the bar (from history). So naturally, I freaked out and brought up his history. It showed me that he'd been looking at other girls' Facebook profiles and had been going through their profile pictures, his ex included.

I woke him up right after, so upset, and he kept insisting that it didn't mean anything. He said "he just wanted to see what they looked like," and I told him that was bull because you could see that from one profile picture. He told me I was overreacting, that he saw a picture pop up on his news feed and kind of went off on a tangent, looking through them. He then told me that he knows girls do the same thing with guys, and it doesn't mean anything. He said he wasn't liking or commenting on the pictures, and he wasn't messaging them, so that was most important. As for his ex, she'd had her profile deactivated for years, and it shocked him when he saw her come up on his news feed, so he clicked on her profile.

I was very upset because I remember when things were bad between us, he'd message other girls on Facebook, and I didn't want this to be leading to that. Before this happened, I felt like he'd gained my trust and that I could love him without fear, and now I'm just terrified again. After we argued about it, he finally said that I was right, that what he did was wrong, and that he's extremely happy with me and wants to marry me. He said he wouldn't do it again and that those other girls aren't even half of what I am. Before, when we argued, he'd pretty much throw his hands up and say, "I don't know what to tell you." The fact that he was being so apologetic and caring showed me that he really does love me.

 

I mentioned it to his friend, and he said, "Don't be silly. It's like this: you have a really nice car, but you're still going to look at other cars, right? He knows he loves you. You know he loves you. I know he loves you."

It's just that our past has got me horrified we're going down that road again. I know how one thing can lead to another. Is this a big deal?

[Keenly]

You are acting CRAZY insecure.

 

So now your boyfriend is not allowed to LOOK at other girls? This is controlling behavior if I have ever seen it, and I have been on the receiving end of this nonsense many, many times.

 

 

He is not cheating on you if he as looking at a girls pictures. He is allowed to do this, and the fact that it makes you so angry / uncomfortable shows that you have zero trust in your partner.

 

 

You need to work on this, because its extremely unhealthy and unattractive behavior.

[MidwestUSA]

It wasn't a big deal; you turned it into one. Reconsider the concept of marriage until you are able to trust, and not with this guy. You're already too far gone.

[mammasita]

Waaaaaay over-reacting.

 

I FaceBook stalk peoples pictures all the time - whether I'm in a relationship or not.

[SweetiePie12]

It's not impossible that it's a sign of trouble. My friend went and liked a ton of my photos and now, we share intimate relations.

 

Sounds like there's a lot of insecurity in this relationship. Hope everything works out OK.

[Treasa]

It, in and of itself, is really not a big deal. If other things are going well, let this go.

[Mr. Nibbles]

Is there a rolling-eyes emoticon big enough to express how I feel about this?