Maybe you "ugly" guys can try this

[JuneJulySeptember]

Again, they are completely missing the point of my post, which was NOT to become an actor, but to....oh, **** it. I made it clear in my original post what the point was. If people don't have good reading comprehension, I can't change that.

 

I get your point. I believe you. I think if I had met more women like you over the course of my life, I wouldn't be the way I am. I don't think you realize how rare you are.

 

The truth of the matter is that if I looked like Jon Krasinski and everything else about me was the same, 95% of the women I KNEW who rejected me would not have done so. I'm about 95% confident of that.

 

Keep in mind that these are all nice, pleasant women who most people would describe as 'down to Earth'. I don't even bother with the diva, Samantha Jones types.

[Els]

deuche

 

Is this a cross between a douche and a deutsche?

[SJC2008]

Is this a cross between a douche and a deutsche?

 

It's a French douche!

[GravityMan]

Whether you like Fallon and Krazinski's specific senses of humor or not, it's clear that they seem to genuinely enjoy what they're doing, and that's what really matters. They enjoy entertaining people and making them smile and laugh. They have a zeal for life. That is infectious and draws and attracts many people to them.

 

This is something that just about anyone is capable of, regardless of their sense of humor, their personality and temperaments, their career, and their talents. It comes from within.

 

Part of it is not caring too much about what others think. Everyone is going to have their share of haters and detractors, no matter who they are and no matter what they do and how they act. Once people realize that, accept it and stop worrying about it...they will feel liberated.

 

You missed my point,not everyone has a great sense of humor and /or is outgoing and charismatic

 

If its not you then you cant force it

 

I'm probably wasting my time telling you this, but here goes:

 

1) Charisma is uncommon. Most men lack it. Most men fall somewhere between "mousy" and "outgoing". And yet...most of those guys eventually find and connect with compatible women who likes them as they are.

 

2) Darn near everyone has SOME sort of sense of humor in my opinion. It may not be great (that's subjective)...it may surface infrequently...but it's there. It is rare for a person to literally have no sense of humor...it is more likely that if someone seems to lack humor, there's something else going on in his life that's inhibiting him from revealing his fun loose side.

[Necris]

Are you kidding me with this ****, dude? I'm not going after 9s and 10s. I like average girls. The girl on the top doesn't even look that bad. The one on the bottom looks terrible. I hope that's not your vision of a "10".

 

Yeah I know what you mean, wierd how everyone assumes struggling guys are only going for the most beautiful women. When I say women do not find me attractive, I'm including the below average and average women.

 

Treasa, the moral of this thread is don't bother trying to help Team Hopeless. Necris, Pompeii (and a few newer guys by the looks of it) are more interested in self-loathing than putting in the work for positive change.

 

Well, I still hold a sliver of hope for Sanitarium because he seems to try sometimes but he does throw out lots of negative declarations.

 

This is so much like my personal training business. Often, what people say they want does not match the actions they take.

 

I'm not self-loathing just realistic.

 

Again let's be real here, being funny isn't going to make a guy who's terrible with women make women attracted to him, its just the icing on the cake for an already attractive guy.

 

How do I know?

 

I'm already the funny guy I can have female friends but beyond that I've only experienced rejection my entire life so excuse me this "advice" isn't all that helpful.

 

Plus people are using actors as examples, come now, we all know actors are putting on an act.

 

What works for celebrities doesn't always work for the common man.

Edited May 9, 2013 by Necris

[Otty]

It's probably a bad idea to respond to this thread, but against my better judgement, I'm going to anyway...

 

This appears to be yet another thread where certain women and their white knight friends wish to taunt men whom the women deem unattractive and unsuitable for dating. I guess by diminishing others, you make yourself feel better. There are a lot of people like that in today's world.

 

It's beyond amusing how some women, white knights and men who are highly successful in the dating world will hand out advice to other, less successful men, and simply tell them to "go get some confidence", "be funny", etc. It's like telling these men that they should drive down to the A & P and pick up a few cases of confidence, humour and chrisma and all their troubles will be gone. The advice is worthless, and since any reasonable person knows it's worthless, the only reasonable conclusion is that it is offered as a put-down or taunt to belittle these men.

 

Some men are made differently and it makes them less attractive to the opposite sex in today's society. Some men are introverted, pleasant, soft spoken, but serious, rather than outgoing, funny or charismatic. There is nothing wrong with these men, and indeed, in other times, a man who was steady, conservative and self-reflective was highly desirable to the opposite sex.

 

As far as confidence, that term has often become a byword for cocky, arrogant, and dominant, among other things. These are personality traits that undoubtedly appeal to many women, but the fact that such personality attributes are celebrated today is not a positive reflection on our society and culture at all. Many introverted, serious, steady men are highly successful and confident is their abilities and path in life, but this type of confidence isn't what matters in today's dating world. Dating today is image and style over substance.

 

All I can say to the women and white knights who are belittling men who struggle in the dating world because they can't, or don't want to, change to meet the superficial, degraded standards of our society, is that Karma will get its revenge on you at some point.

[PJKino]

It's probably a bad idea to respond to this thread, but against my better judgement, I'm going to anyway...

 

 

 

 

As far as confidence, that term has often become a byword for cocky, arrogant, and dominant, among other things. These are personality traits that undoubtedly appeal to many women, but the fact that such personality attributes are celebrated today is not a positive reflection on our society and culture at all. Many introverted, serious, steady men are highly successful and confident is their abilities and path in life, but this type of confidence isn't what matters in today's dating world. Dating today is image and style over substance.

 

 

 

I agree with this point it seems as if cockiness "swag"[such a overused corny word] and other code words for being a borderline ahole who thinks your ***** doesnt stink will turn women on more then a laid back guy who might really have confidence but doesnt strut around like a peacock and advertise how "confident" he is..

 

Theyre's no room for quiet confidence anymore its all about social confidence and look at me and how great iam for some reason seems to turn women on more..

 

I wonder why that is..

[clia]

Yeah I know what you mean, wierd how everyone assumes struggling guys are only going for the most beautiful women. When I say women do not find me attractive, I'm including the below average and average women.

 

But you are a good looking guy. You are good looking! Which leads me to believe (since I haven't met you in real life) must stem from how you carry yourself and other personality type things. You're young -- I think your day will come.

[ThaWholigan]

It's probably a bad idea to respond to this thread, but against my better judgement, I'm going to anyway...

 

You were right

This appears to be yet another thread where certain women and their white knight friends wish to taunt men whom the women deem unattractive and unsuitable for dating. I guess by diminishing others, you make yourself feel better. There are a lot of people like that in today's world.

 

I do not understand how you see it as taunting - likely you draw to a conclusion that you were always going to draw no matter what was said in order to uplift them.....which was the true purpose of the thread. Treasa isn't the first, and she won't be the last. The unattractiveness is perceived rather than factual in my observations - half the time the alleged unsuitability for dating can be remedied, and usually not by drastic overhaul of the personality either.

It's beyond amusing how some women, white knights and men who are highly successful in the dating world will hand out advice to other, less successful men, and simply tell them to "go get some confidence", "be funny", etc. It's like telling these men that they should drive down to the A & P and pick up a few cases of confidence, humour and chrisma and all their troubles will be gone. The advice is worthless, and since any reasonable person knows it's worthless, the only reasonable conclusion is that it is offered as a put-down or taunt to belittle these men.

 

No, it's the only conclusion that you guys can come to because you refuse to accept that any possible improvement is within your control. I think it's obvious that it's not easy to just become confident and super charismatic - but charisma isn't just extroverted behavior. And neither is confidence - which you also addressed later on.

 

It's not a put down basically, it's meant to uplift, not to belittle. That you see it as belittling is baffling as well as unfortunate. My own advice isn't necessarily to become who you're not. But to supplement who you are with traits of the person you wish to become, with the added side effect of attracting the kind of woman you wish to attract.

Some men are made differently and it makes them less attractive to the opposite sex in today's society. Some men are introverted, pleasant, soft spoken, but serious, rather than outgoing, funny or charismatic. There is nothing wrong with these men, and indeed, in other times, a man who was steady, conservative and self-reflective was highly desirable to the opposite sex.

 

On the contrary, what I have found is that there are women who do find those attributes attractive - and in fact, there are some guys I know with those attributes who actually do get relationships. You are correct - there is nothing wrong with those men. The problem is that often the men we are addressing likely have other issues outside of that which mess things up for them. Like we all do.

As far as confidence, that term has often become a byword for cocky, arrogant, and dominant, among other things. These are personality traits that undoubtedly appeal to many women, but the fact that such personality attributes are celebrated today is not a positive reflection on our society and culture at all. Many introverted, serious, steady men are highly successful and confident is their abilities and path in life, but this type of confidence isn't what matters in today's dating world. Dating today is image and style over substance.

 

I don't think you're completely wrong, but perhaps exaggerating the perceived problem. Someone mentioned "quiet confidence", and I believe there isn't anything wrong with that and there are lots of women who do find it attractive - the problem is that the guys who otherwise would project this mistakenly believe that we all have to be super-extroverted, always dominant, arrogant party guy with all the jokes to get the girl........that's not the case. There are ways of getting interest without completely sacrificing who you are - but believing that everyone is belittling you and hence being superficial is not going to help you.

 

All I can say to the women and white knights who are belittling men who struggle in the dating world because they can't, or don't want to, change to meet the superficial, degraded standards of our society, is that Karma will get its revenge on you at some point.

 

Karma won't do sh*t to anybody - it doesn't come to the lives of those who benefit from the misery of others. And besides, nobody is belittling anybody.

[TheGuard13]

While celebrities aren't the best example...

 

Humor and the ability to put things in perspective (don't sweat the small stuff) will take you far with women if there's any interest there whatsoever. In a society filled with insecure, selfish people, those who can be laid back and find the humor in any situation stand out. You want to stand out? Learn to be funny, charismatic, or at least interesting in terms of your personality.

[tuxedo cat]

Where he's too nervous for my taste.

 

I much preferred him as Hawkeye in the Avengers. Cool and calm under any circumstance. Very concise body language, hitting every movement with no wasted energy. Now that's hot!

 

He also did an amazing job in Hurt Locker but his character wasn't hot by any stretch of the imagination.

 

I'm attracted to that touch of vulnerability but then again I seem to have a poor man picker. All of the guys I've gotten involved with have ended up having issues so maybe what seems endearing to me on the surface is actually a sign of a troubled soul.

[tuxedo cat]

I get your point. I believe you. I think if I had met more women like you over the course of my life, I wouldn't be the way I am. I don't think you realize how rare you are.

 

The truth of the matter is that if I looked like Jon Krasinski and everything else about me was the same, 95% of the women I KNEW who rejected me would not have done so. I'm about 95% confident of that.

 

Keep in mind that these are all nice, pleasant women who most people would describe as 'down to Earth'. I don't even bother with the diva, Samantha Jones types.

 

Aside from his height Krasinski is pretty average looking.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Aside from his height Krasinski is pretty average looking.

 

Right. Exactly. Thank you for proving my point.

 

If YOU think HE'S average looking, lord only knows what you would think of me.

 

But the women I've gone for, they would dig him. They're probably a little bit lower on the food chain than you are.

 

I have a lot to offer outside of my looks.

[JuneJulySeptember]

That fat guy you friendzoned makes you laugh SOO much oh but it's only when hot guys are funny that you wet your panties.

 

I think there is a very, very, very, very small minority of women who value personality, but almost all of the time, these "personality loving women" just justify liking handsome men with reasons like "he's smart, he's funny, he's sweet"... Are you so delusional about your own self? Do women seriously lack ALL sense of self-awareness? All women ever talk about is men who are "cute" and they make this judgement just by looking at the man. And then when he opens his mouth that's when they start filling in all the blanks and justifications for their super-shallow interest.

 

Lol. Different style than I would have said it, but fairly accurate.

[tuxedo cat]

Right. Exactly. Thank you for proving my point.

 

If YOU think HE'S average looking, lord only knows what you would think of me.

 

But the women I've gone for, they would dig him. They're probably a little bit lower on the food chain than you are.

 

I have a lot to offer outside of my looks.

 

He has a pleasing face but he is not traditionally handsome. He's a bit goofy looking. I like his personality, though.

Edited May 10, 2013 by tuxedo cat

[tbf]

He has a pleasing face but he is not traditionally handsome. He's a bit goofy looking. I like his personality, though.

Krasinski looks much better without a beard. What's interesting is this interview with Conan O'Brien. Verbally, he's not really funny where his timing's off but if you watch the clip until the end, his physical humour is unbeatable. Every move, timing and movements are perfect. Seriously coordinated which was why his lip syncing was so good.

 

 

But this illustrates humour in different forms. Some guys can be witty, others cuttingly sarcastic, others random or physical.

[JuneJulySeptember]

He has a pleasing face but he is not traditionally handsome. He's a bit goofy looking. I like his personality, though.

 

I don't think he's average at all. They put him on the office to be a realistic match for Jenna Fischer and she is SUPER HOT.

 

But anyway, no amount of pickiness by any woman would surprise me at this point.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

I don't think he's average at all. They put him on the office to be a realistic match for Jenna Fischer and she is SUPER HOT.

 

But anyway, no amount of pickiness by any woman would surprise me at this point.

 

He's famous too. That's a big part of the attraction from these women (way bigger than looks and personality).

[tuxedo cat]

Krasinski looks much better without a beard. What's interesting is this interview with Conan O'Brien. Verbally, he's not really funny where his timing's off but if you watch the clip until the end, his physical humour is unbeatable. Every move, timing and movements are perfect. Seriously coordinated which was why his lip syncing was so good.

 

 

But this illustrates humour in different forms. Some guys can be witty, others cuttingly sarcastic, others random or physical.

 

I like him; he is definitely someone I'd date. He seems nervous here and intimidated by Conan but that's not a turn off to me. Like Renner he doesn't come off as ego involved, which is always refreshing in an actor. Charming but not funny--that may be because he's up against Conan who is razor sharp as usual. (Conan seems like a dick as a person, though.)

[ChessPieceFace]

It's beyond amusing how some women, white knights and men who are highly successful in the dating world will hand out advice to other, less successful men, and simply tell them to "go get some confidence", "be funny", etc. It's like telling these men that they should drive down to the A & P and pick up a few cases of confidence, humour and chrisma and all their troubles will be gone. The advice is worthless, and since any reasonable person knows it's worthless, the only reasonable conclusion is that it is offered as a put-down or taunt to belittle these men.

 

A better analogy would be: people who are genetically predisposed to being thin, even while eating whole pizzas and having soda or beer every day, putting down fat people as "lazy pigs" and saying "there's no reason you can't be thin, you're just lazy and gluttonous, get off the couch and take your hand out of the Cheetos bag for once in your life." When in reality they have absolutely no comprehension what it's like to have a slow metabolism and fight an uphill battle with weight your entire life, constantly denying yourself and exercising beyond what is natural just to fight the nature of your body's metabolism.

 

I don't think it's usually an intentional malicious taunt, but rather their own ignorance distorting their perceptions of reality, along with their lack of empathy, leading them to give 'advice' which ends up being extremely insulting and not very helpful.

 

Can fat people get thin by diet and exercise? Sure ... but many of them have to work a lot harder than you ever will to achieve sufficient results, and will have to live a life of constant deprivation.

 

Can introverts become extroverted? Very similar answer. They'll be constantly depriving themselves of what they naturally want (alone time, relaxation of solitude, solo intellectual pursuits) and putting themselves in uncomfortable social situations that are unnatural to them, that are hard work to them.

 

I wouldn't want to date an all-out extrovert. I wouldn't want to date a heavy drinker. I wouldn't want to date someone who believes in casual sex, or drug use. There's different people in the world with different wants. An introvert trying to become an extrovert won't work. Better advice would be that the introvert would work on key behaviors that he or she can use to form a connection with other people without gutting his/her core identity. I don't think introverts will have much luck looking for mates in extrovert havens like bars. Better advice would be to figure out where to meet more introverts and/or people who are compatible with their interests and personality.

[tuxedo cat]

I'm also on Gary Oldman's personality:

 

He is very sharp. Not the warmest person but definitely sexy. His looks are the definition of average so personality and intelligence really can be enough.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

A better analogy would be: people who are genetically predisposed to being thin, even while eating whole pizzas and having soda or beer every day, putting down fat people as "lazy pigs" and saying "there's no reason you can't be thin, you're just lazy and gluttonous, get off the couch and take your hand out of the Cheetos bag for once in your life." When in reality they have absolutely no comprehension what it's like to have a slow metabolism and fight an uphill battle with weight your entire life, constantly denying yourself and exercising beyond what is natural just to fight the nature of your body's metabolism.

 

I don't think it's usually an intentional malicious taunt, but rather their own ignorance distorting their perceptions of reality, along with their lack of empathy, leading them to give 'advice' which ends up being extremely insulting and not very helpful.

 

Can fat people get thin by diet and exercise? Sure ... but many of them have to work a lot harder than you ever will to achieve sufficient results, and will have to live a life of constant deprivation.

 

Can introverts become extroverted? Very similar answer. They'll be constantly depriving themselves of what they naturally want (alone time, relaxation of solitude, solo intellectual pursuits) and putting themselves in uncomfortable social situations that are unnatural to them, that are hard work to them.

 

I wouldn't want to date an all-out extrovert. I wouldn't want to date a heavy drinker. I wouldn't want to date someone who believes in casual sex, or drug use. There's different people in the world with different wants. An introvert trying to become an extrovert won't work. Better advice would be that the introvert would work on key behaviors that he or she can use to form a connection with other people without gutting his/her core identity. I don't think introverts will have much luck looking for mates in extrovert havens like bars. Better advice would be to figure out where to meet more introverts and/or people who are compatible with their interests and personality.

 

To be honest, that is a good point and not something I ever considered before.

 

I tend to get annoyed by fat people. However, I have a terrible diet and I never exercise. Yet, I am naturally athletic and can pass my military fitness test with absolutely no preparation (while others are preparing for months and still fail).

 

That was an enlightening post. I will reconsider how I treat fat people. Thank you.

[tbf]

I like him; he is definitely someone I'd date. He seems nervous here and intimidated by Conan but that's not a turn off to me. Like Renner he doesn't come off as ego involved, which is always refreshing in an actor. Charming but not funny--that may be because he's up against Conan who is razor sharp as usual. (Conan seems like a dick as a person, though.)

Krasinski's a bit too hesitant for me. As far as O'Brien, the ex-husband's humour is like that, albeit not over-the-top coke frenetic when O'Brien gets cranked.

[Woggle]

Nothing anybody says will ever convince the guys on here that they have a chance with women. To them this is a a genuinely real thing.

[apple OR orange]

prove it to me that women are less attracted to looks

 

+1 on this..... 2 guys, one sex magnet and one ugly, both are funny.

 

There is no way your telling me ugly and funny wins over sexy and funny!