keep_strong Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 I posted my story on here last week. I was doing okay, no contact rule, considering I do miss him for some sick reason. However last night, he managed to get hold of my number through a mutual friend. He told me 'I have another girl coming round to my apartment, now is your chance to tell me if you want me back' I didn't receive this message until 2 hours later, which by then he ignored me when I replied, and then decided to message me telling me she'd been round, she's wonderful... she's awesome... she's treating him to a night out this weekend. And that I'm a lying whore, I love myself etc. (I don't know how he thinks I'm a whore and I love myself since he's beat me down so bad I feel worthless) Then an hour after that he messaged me a picture which said 'It's not the missing part I can't handle, it's the fact you're not coming back that's killing me' Then an hour ago he messaged me saying 'I have a new job at ***** ' Can I ask, why is he doing this? Is it helping he's doing this, because I woke up this morning and instead of getting upset, I kind of realize how much of a Jekyll and Hyde he is. I don't know, someone explain? How did you feel when your ex left? was trying to make you jealous? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
MercuryMorrison1 Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 The best I can relate here... One of my earliest relationships was similar (I'm a man btw). Though my girlfriend at the time was not physically abusive, she was emotionally abusive. At first our relationship was great, we seemed happy together and all that crap. But over time she started ''seeing'' other men claiming that they were only friends. My instincts told me exactly what she was doing, but my heart didn't want to believe it. Eventually my desire to know the truth led me to play detective a little bit. I snooped a little on her phone and followed her out one night when she went out. Long story short...I learned the truth. Now this is where I can relate to your situation. When I confronted her about her actions with proof of her wrongdoing, she went straight into defense mode and tried to spin the story around so that I was somehow the one at fault for her infidelity, saying that I did this or I acted this way or whatever...She would say anything just to relieve herself of the blame. Being as young as I was (mid teens) I took this crap from her for over a year because I didn't know any better, I spent a lot of time trying to reorganize my own life based on the false pretenses that she set up in my mind. Eventually I grew up some though, and I realized that I just couldn't love someone who would squander my feelings to salvage their own. So I did the reasonable thing and I left her. The first month or so of her absence was spent in constant questioning of my actions...Did I do the right thing? Will I ever find someone else?...etc...etc. Then one faithful night I got a call from her, crying and begging me to come over to her house. She told me she just couldn't stand the relationship she had started with ''the other guy'' that he was no where near what I was and that she wanted me back. My first instinct was to take her back, but then good ole logic kicked in and I told her...Well, I'm sorry that you're in the position you are in now but you dug your own grave on this one...Now its time for you to lye down in it. She didn't respond to this well...She went from sobbing to full on rage in a matter of seconds. After screaming a few choice words at me she hung up. She called me back a few times over the following year, just to introduce me to her new boyfriends, which I eventually found comical. That's my story in a nutshell. Sorry for the length, its easy to get carried away when reminiscing about this kind of thing. Don't worry about how you feel now...In time you will meet someone else and all but completely forget about your ex. I know I did. Link to post Share on other sites
vegaslady Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 (edited) I posted my story on here last week. I was doing okay, no contact rule, considering I do miss him for some sick reason. However last night, he managed to get hold of my number through a mutual friend. He told me 'I have another girl coming round to my apartment, now is your chance to tell me if you want me back' I didn't receive this message until 2 hours later, which by then he ignored me when I replied, and then decided to message me telling me she'd been round, she's wonderful... she's awesome... she's treating him to a night out this weekend. And that I'm a lying whore, I love myself etc. (I don't know how he thinks I'm a whore and I love myself since he's beat me down so bad I feel worthless) Then an hour after that he messaged me a picture which said 'It's not the missing part I can't handle, it's the fact you're not coming back that's killing me' Then an hour ago he messaged me saying 'I have a new job at ***** ' Can I ask, why is he doing this? Is it helping he's doing this, because I woke up this morning and instead of getting upset, I kind of realize how much of a Jekyll and Hyde he is. I don't know, someone explain? How did you feel when your ex left? was trying to make you jealous? Thanks That's not the question you should be asking. The question is why are you allowing any person to treat you with such disrespect? Though it is AWESOME you walked away.... Please realize these people are truly sick and cannot be "cured". You don't miss him, you miss a fantasy of what he COULD be. The person you think you love does not exist, they are a ghost. I will be repeating this advice regularly on this forum as it is a fact and it is what got me over my extremely abusive ex. I feel sickened that I ever allowed myself to be treated so horribly. Please read the book "Love Addiction". It will help you understand your codependency and please know that working on yourself and learning to love YOU and fix YOU and forgetting HIM is the only way to heal and end the cycle. If you don't start working on you, you will simply go from one bad relationship to the other and never know a truly fulfilled and happy life full of love like you deserve. You did leave but are still very vulnerable. Why he does what he does is irrelevant but for the record, it's because he is feeling hurt and is lashing out instead of fixing it. Blessings.... Edited June 17, 2013 by vegaslady Link to post Share on other sites
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