katala Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Hello, i'm 21 years old and just 5 days ago broke up or took a break from my boyfriend who is 23. We've been going out for a year and three months and in since the day we met until 5 days ago we hung out every single day. I now know that wasn't a great idea because we always told ourselves we would not hangout so much but it always went back to hanging out everyday. In this time we became so close and had so much fun together. We een sometimes in passing joke talk about "if we got married" or "if we had kids" My boyfriend said 5 days ago that he's been thinking the past couple of weeks if his feelings for me are turning to friendshp or if he's still in love. My hope is that because we spent so much time together that he just needs time to miss me and our relationship. We talked on the phone the next couple of days just because i was having a hard time and now i havn't spoke to hime in 2 days and he said he'll call in a couple days to see how everythings going. It has been so hard this week because i don't know how long this will be or if he will realize that he's in love with me still and also if he's not sure if its possible to fall back in love. Another thing that has been hard is because when we end our conversatons we no loner say i love you because he thinks its not right right now to say it. I just don't know what made him quesion his feelings and i really need some help. Thank you guys for reading and i hope you can help. Link to post Share on other sites
girls_do_cheat Posted September 25, 2004 Share Posted September 25, 2004 Just hold yourself for a few days.He will be in touch if he feels for you, if not he isn't supposed to be with u.Mostly he will start missing things soon and you too will be back on track.Sometimes it becomes monotonous and u need to take a break so that u realize the other persons importance.Don,t call him for atleast 2 weeks and see...........all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Orchid Posted September 26, 2004 Share Posted September 26, 2004 Have you explored with him WHY he feels he may no longer be in love with you?.... is someone else on his radar?. I'm not suggesting he's been messing around on you... just that he may have met someone recently who's taken his interest. This may be the catalyst for him questioning his feelings for you. It's not uncommon. If you feel he and the relationship are worthy.... wait it out. Back off and let him process the situation after verbalising his feelings, in the hope that he'll want what he had again. If you want to empower yourself however, tell yourself that you do not want to be with someone who does not want to be with you, and walk away. His loss. Link to post Share on other sites
PR Posted September 26, 2004 Share Posted September 26, 2004 I think you may be entering a new phase in your relationship. The romance may be wearing off, but the non-romantic bit (i.e., respect, trust, fellowship) is always there. Thay may not be the most encouraging news, since we all want to be held, touched, kissed, and romantically loved. Only time will. I know that not knowing and preparing yourself for the least favorable outcome is your natural way of feeling out the ebb and flow of things. I do that all the time. So you will not be feeling uncertain alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author katala Posted October 3, 2004 Author Share Posted October 3, 2004 ok tommrow is going to be two weeks since we broke up (break?) and its been 10 days since we spoke, which is the longest we've ever gone. We've never gone a single day without speaking and the only time we've been apart this long is when he went on a trip for two weeks. Its been really hard but i forced myself to go out every night with friends and to keep myself busy with work and running but its always in the back of my mind that i miss him and our relationship. His friends actually called me last night and asked to hangout for a little so i did. They've never hungout with any of their friends exes before but they said that they really like me and think my bf is a moron for doing this. It makes me feel better that i know their on my side but i just wish i knew if this break is making him miss me or if he's just happy without me. I also keep having urges to call but i havn't because i want him to call and i want him to realize that i respect his wishes for a break and want to give him space but its sooo hard. And worst of all is i can't stop myself from thinking about this and how confused i am about how he can go from writing me a card 4 months ago saying the only thing in his future that he's certain of is me to being confused about his feelings?? help! Link to post Share on other sites
Frylock Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 Hey I feel your pain... but just give it time... don't drop out of contact with him completely.. I know that's what others say to do, but he needs to hear your voice to realize how much he misses it. If you'd like you can read over my past story.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t49095/ It's got links in it from start to finish. We are basically in the same boat... It ended up my girlfriend came back and said she misses me too much to be apart. You have hope, but don't give up, and I know you want him to call you, but maybe should email him or something, just casual friendly email or phonecall... nothing relationshippy. Do something as friends and see where it goes. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
weweregods Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 I agree with Frylock, completely! E-mail him about something practicle, or make something up. Just don't apear desperate. It is possible to get a second chance, it happens all the time! Link to post Share on other sites
Author katala Posted October 5, 2004 Author Share Posted October 5, 2004 Thank you guys for your input on my situation. I actually was online the other day and he sent me an im and we talked for a little and he said he would call the next night. So he called the next night and we talked for awhile and he said he missed me but was still confused about his feelings so i started to get upset because i felt he wasn't being as sensitive to my feelings. so he called me back a few minutes later and asked if he could come over. So he came over and when i got to the door he just hugged me for like 5 min without saying anything. Then he said he was sorry for being insensitive and we went in his car and drove around for like an hour just catching up on the past week we didnt speak. Then at the end we talked about us and i was telling him how i feel like we have this connection and stuff like that and he agreed but he still wan't sure if how he felt was friendship or love. He told me what ever the outcome is we'll always be something more than best friends because of our past and connection to each other. i told him that i didnt cancel our trip in nov for his b-day and i didnt know if i should and just said he didnt know. He also said that he feels horrible for putting me through this but he doesnt want to get back together because he feels bad he wants to really make sure he loves me. And i know its been hard because he said he can't write because hes been thinking abouthis and is having a hard time sleeping. And i used to always tell him how when we cuddled at the end of the day that it was my favorite part of the day and he said it was his too so nighttime i think has been hard for us cause of that too. So he walked me to my door and hugged me some more and kissed my forehead(i love it when he does that!) and we discussed hanging out together again but for longer and maybe over the weeknd depending on how we feel at the time. He siad hed call at the end of the week or if i want i can call before that. I asked him if he felt anything when we hugged and and he said he felt something but didnt go into detail. so i'm just so confused because i know in my heart we're meant for each other and he always acted like he knew it too and now he doesn't know if its friendship or love. what do you guys think?(sorry i wrote so much this time!) Link to post Share on other sites
weweregods Posted October 5, 2004 Share Posted October 5, 2004 It's love... What is hate but extreme dislike? I think that you are giving him way too much reassurance. You should worry him a little that he might loose you. As long as he knows that he can always come back to you, he will not be pursuing you anytime soon. He has been pulling away from you, now what you need to do it pull away from him. If he doesn't know about going on this trip of yours, you might suggest (notice that I said suggust) that you might have someone else that wants to go instead. Don't tell him who it is... Just say that it's a friend... He will start to get jealous, but ignore it. Don't tell him if it's a male friend or a female friend, just say that it shouldn't matter because you two are not together - put make sure to be kind and polite about it! Link to post Share on other sites
Frylock Posted October 7, 2004 Share Posted October 7, 2004 If I were you I'd call him before the end of the week... thursday would be good. Don't make plans or anything, just call, and talk about everyday stuff. Say bye, and say I love you when you do it. Link to post Share on other sites
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